Short on prayer part 2

Happy New Year!

When we pray, we need to fully comprehend that God listens.

We don’t need to find the right words. God already knows what we want to say. We do, however, need to pray with sincerity. Sometimes - often in my case - prayers are just empty words. But when we pray with sincerity, we know that God listens and that God hears every little infinitesimal grain of insincerity. He still hears. He still listens. But what we say doesn’t mean anything.

When we pray with sincerity, things that we have hidden from ourselves will come to the surface. It gets brought into the light of God so that he can heal it.

The Calling. Part 8

WARNING: This is my intellect trying to understand something that it probably cannot understand.

Let’s look at the situation in the world without using any trigger words that may overstep the boundaries of what the new form of free speech that has grown out of our situation ;) allows. And I’m going to start by playing the devil’s advocate for a bit. It’s possible that the situation is more dangerous than we are lead to believe. That would explain the extreme measures that are being taken. But I don’t think that this is very likely, since anything that induces more fear would make people more prone to go for the proposed solution. But if there is some foul-play at work, why doesn’t the propaganda machine say that it’s worse than it is? I’ve thought about this for a while and there seems to be a logical reason. Namely that if the lies were too obvious, someone that knew what he or she was talking about would react to it. And if that happened, the rest might come down as well.

The Calling. Part 7

I know about all the crazy religious talk out there. And I’m seriously not interested in joining the choir that sings about satanic armies of transgender super soldiers. The truth is that I know very little. I only wish to speak of things that I can’t deny and not allow my mind to fly into a bunch of paranoid speculations.

At the same time, I do see that there must be an agenda behind what is happening with all the craziness in the world. In one way or another, the situation in the world is not the way we are told.

So, here's the deal

I feel that it’s time for an update.

So, here’s the deal:

I know that something huge is going on on the planet right now. Whatever spiritual awakening is, it’s happening. To lots of people. Undeniably. It’s not some wishful thinking or mass delusion. It’s not a question of “maybe, maybe not so let’s have a debate about it”. Having a debate about it would be like having a debate about whether the earth is flat. The connection with God on the inside is absolutely undeniable to me, even if it took a while for my ego to become convinced, and even if my ego sometimes still throws doubts in my way. Because it seems as if no matter what proof I experience in my life and together with my wife, my ego can still find ways of doubting. 

The “problem” is, for me, that for one reason or another, I’m led to Christianity. In the sense that the answers are to be found there. Not just in the sense that some answers are to be found there, but that THE answers are to be found there. This does not mean that all other religions are wrong and of the devil. I believe, for example, that the chakra system of Hinduism, the philosophy of letting go of attachment and resistance in Buddhism, or the natural flow of Taoism all have valuable things to teach us. 

So many crazy things have happened in my life. Things on the inside mostly. But also weird synchronicities and messages that come to me and my wife. So the crux of the matter, is that while this is undeniably happening, there is no way of proving to anyone else that it is. If we could, we could go out and show people the true nature of reality, we could overthrow the tyrants that rule the world by simply refusing to comply with them, and we could build utopia on earth. But for one reason or another, God has chosen to let things play out a different way.

Anyway, what I wish to do with the blog is to explore this openly. A few important questions to ask here are: “Why am I drawn to Christianity”, “what does this mean?”, “if Christianity is true, why is it true?” and “how come that most people that wake up don’t seem to be Christians?”

It seems though, as if many people that have woken up are using more and more biblical references and Christian terminology. And I do agree with those that say that “Christian” is a label. I even agree with those that say that it is a problematic label. I think that it seems a little strange that one’s whole eternal destiny would be contingent upon wether one adopted the label or not. 

On the other hand, I believe that this still is a valid label, for someone that, with all his or her human frailties and weaknesses, aspires to live like Jesus.

The Calling. Part 6

I’m still in a ton of doubt about this myself. But when I look at my own, rather extreme experiences, and what is going on in the world, it seems to ad up. I constantly ask myself if me and my wife are going crazy. If we’ve been caught up by some romantic idea of a post-apocalypse life or the need for feeling special. Or the ego-boost of having access to information or insights that most people don’t. Because both me and my wife are human. And as such, we share many human weaknesses that other people carry. But I know what I’ve experienced. And I’m seeing more and more people that are saying that things are not what they seem with the things that are happening right now. And in a little over a week, I’ve heard four people, independent of each other, talking about the end times and The Book of Revelations. And it’s not because I hang around with people that do nothing but talk about the Bible the whole day. I don’t know any such people. I suspect that I probably should though.

The Calling. Part 5.

I’ve been stalling long enough. So, here we go:

What came to me, was that we are really living in the end times. End time prophecies are being fulfilled right this moment. The prophecies of The Book of Revelation are coming true right now, in our time. 

What might seem paradoxical in this context, is that what also has come to me several times, is that all is well. We’re not here to be judged, but to be healed. Some healing might be painful though, as some of our wounds are severely infected. But we’re all in the end returning to our relationship with God, the way God intends for it to be.

The Calling. Part 4

I’m one of those people going through a spiritual awakening. There are really crazy things happening inside me and with my perception of reality. And I seem to get messages from God in different ways. Crazy, right? If I didn’t have my wife and other people around me to confirm that this is actually happening, plus the testimony from various other people that I have never met, I would be the first one to call the psychiatric clinic and have me committed.

The Calling. Part 3.

On the other hand - look at the world. Does everything seem right to you? Does it seem as if you are getting the whole story? Does the measures taken to stop Voldemort (the one that cannot be named), with the coercion, constraints, censorship and so on seem proportional to what we know about the situation? And isn’t it strange that this happens just when many people are starting to report that they are going through spiritual awakenings that turn their whole lives upside down? Awakenings that make us see ourselves completely differently, and see glimpses of the power within us that we can access when we connect with God on the inside?

The Calling. Part 2.

I am truly afraid of talking about this. Because I know how crazy it sounds and that most people that talk about this are labelled as religious nuts. And I believe that I’m for the most part a fairly open minded person, with an above average capacity for critical thinking and introspection. And I do have my doubts about this, I must confess. But as time goes, I seem to get more and more signs that I’m supposed to write what I’m about to write. So, I might be caught up in strange fantasies. I might even be going crazy. Then again, if it is so, then a lot of other people are going crazy right now as well.

The Calling. Part 1.

I had a strange experience on Saturday the 4^th in December 2021. I was laying in bed next to my wife when my thoughts wandered to all the non-Christians that are talking about their spiritual awakenings, when it struck me that we don’t have to be Christians to be called to Jesus. That all those that go through this are being called directly by God. Most of them just don’t understand this yet (This will probably anger both Christians and New Agers ;)).

As these thoughts entered my mind, I experienced something that I best can describe as fear of God and being shaken to the core of my soul. It was a very physical feeling, as if a storm went through my whole body. I also experienced several conflicting emotions at once and I’m going to try to give an account of them that is as accurate and honest as possible, while knowing that words cannot convey what it was even close to full extent. I might even be labelling the emotions wrongly, because I only have access to my erroneous memory. But the emotions, as far as I can remember them, were deep joy and grief at the same time, with tears flowing from both. It was a feeling of being utterly terrified and safe and held at the same time. I felt that I was completely at the mercy of God. A god that could end my life and do anything he pleased with me. And yet, I knew that this god loved me more than I could ever imagine.

All of this lasted for less than a minute, but it shook me to my core. Afterwards I was in shock and awe and insights that I cannot deny, at the same time as I don’t fully dare to believe them, came over me.

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 8.

The next question seems to be: What can I do to bring more consciousness into my sometimes stressful life? Once negative emotions have gotten hold of me I’m pretty much in their grip. So I need to make my life less stressful, so that I have some resilience when it comes to these emotions. What I’m thinking of, is to always have little things to look forward to in my day to day life, and to take time to just relax. To do guided meditations laying on my back every day and in general engage in a little self-care. I have for a long time tried to beat my ego into submission. I think that it’s time to try a different approach. 

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 7

When it comes to the explanations as to why things work the way they do, I’m not sure. Perhaps it’s more of a glimpse into the mind of God? What Zeland talks about is sometimes pretty far away from Jesus’ teachings, but for the most part it’s in line with them. He talks a lot about having faith in that everything is going to turn out well, to not worry about the future or ruminate over the past, to live in the now and to treat others, as well as ourselves, with love and respect. 

So, I guess that what I’m trying to say, is that I doubt some of the metaphysical claims of the book. But as long as the stuff that Zeland says works and doesn’t violate my conscience, I think that there is a lot to learn from it.

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 6.

So basically, when it comes to Reality Transurfing, I think that the book shows some more or less undeniable patterns of how our being in the world seems to work. Patterns that we can become aware of if we start paying attention to what is going on and get out of the habit of looking at life as a series of random occurrences. It also shows ways of relating to these patterns that will make life run more smoothly. I’ve only worked with this a short time, so I can’t say for sure how well it works. I’ve mostly seen that bad stuff seem to happen, that cannot be seen as direct consequences of my actions, when I don’t follow what it says in the book, as I’m still prone to let my emotions get the best of me. But a lot of it seems intuitively right and I think that I sometimes have experienced how it is to be on what Zeland calls a wave of fortune, even though I’ve been knocked off of it pretty fast. The wave of fortune, if I understand it correctly, is an energy current that we can tune into, where everything seems to fall into place without us having to put much effort into it. 

A widened perspective on the Bible?

What if you read the Bible for the first time, with no prior knowledge about it, except the vague notion that it contains some kind of important truth about the world? I want you to really think of what this question means. So I’ll say it again: What if you read the Bible for the first time, with no prior knowledge about it, except the vague notion that it contains some kind of important truth about the world, that means that it cannot be dismissed as mere fiction?

This would mean that you didn’t know about literal interpretations or that there are people that reject it completely. You would neither know what theologians have been saying since the beginning of Christianity, nor would you know the doctrines of the different churches. 

You would also not know about ideas that Christians often reject because they think that they are incompatible with biblical teachings. And you might look at some of the stories as attempts to describe events that they would have understood very differently if they would have occurred today. You might interpret some things that today are looked upon as literal as symbolical and vice versa. 

What if you looked at everything in it, that doesn’t have an absolutely self-evident interpretation, with an open mind, but seriously enough to not fall for the temptation to say “everything is relative so I’m free to do what I want”?  

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 5.

Now, finally, we get to Reality Transurfing. But hopefully you can see what my other posts had to do with it now.

In the book, the author Vadim Zeland talks about how we switch timelines depending on what we focus on, our emotional state and whether we manage to not attach importance to those things that we wish to have in our lives. He also says that there are these energy structures that he calls pendulums, that we create and feed with our emotional energy. According to Zeland, there are pendulums for just about anything, from soccer teams and political parties, to money, corporations or even the concept of poverty or wealth. And these pendulums will do what they can to keep us attached to them, so that we keep them alive and strong.

This is a very short summary of some of the core ideas of a pretty thick, five volume book. I’m not sure what I believe when it comes to this. But what I do know, is that there seems to be this pattern of one initial negative event happening. And that if I respond with negative emotions, more negative events keep happening, until I manage to take a step back and stop reacting.

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 4.

Things in general just went downhill since that initial stress episode. Now things are better again and I can see quite clearly that my thoughts about the situations and the emotions that they created kept me stuck in a negative pattern.

So, it seems as if once the ball has started rolling, there will be more and more things to be stressed about. But it seems to stop once I take a step back and don’t let myself get swept away by the misfortunes. But it’s hard to do when you’re caught up in negative emotions. When unconscious thoughts enter my head and add fuel to the emotions. The old discontentment with what is in the present moment keeps rearing its ugly head.

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 3.

Since the initial stress episode, things have been piling on. Since then, in just one day, I managed to lose an earphone, discover that I hadn’t closed the freezer correctly so that I had to throw away loads of food and bump into one of mine and my wife’s two cars with the other car, which left a dent and a scratch in the paint. And I think that I’ve forgotten something. 

But these are little things. Now a few big things, of which one of them is really big, have happened. 

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 2.

Now for some background story I recently came face to face with my stress. I’m going to try and find out what is causing it as I presently am only vaguely aware of it. I think that it has something to do with always having something on my schedule and therefore never being able to fully relax and let go. The closest I come to relaxing and letting go, is when I crash and just feel more or less forced to drop everything. This, naturally, becomes an unconscious relaxing and letting go. Which is not what I’m after, since I’ve found that one of the big keys to life is to do things consciously, with intention. So if I sit on the sofa, binge eat snacks and binge watch movies because I just can’t bear my stressful life anymore, I’m going into unconscious mode and I don’t relax properly.

Thoughts on Reality Transurfing and stress. Part 1.

I find Vadim Zeland’s Reality Transurfing to be quite a fascinating book. It talks about quantum physics and how there is a field of potential, out of which we can manifest many different realities for ourselves, depending on if we follow certain rules. I will get more into this in the fifth post of this series.

First, I wish to talk a little about the book and then what prompted me to write down this series though. 

I wish to start with a small critique, that touches upon much of today’s spiritual literature. Namely that while I believe Reality Transurfing is saying many important things, its view is too mechanistic. I believe spirituality by its very nature is an interaction with God. As such, we can say things about God’s will, but we must never forget that we interact with a living being with a will and an intelligence that is infinitely greater than ours.

The failure of reason

Something strange is happening in the world. Did I ever tell you that? I’ve had things happening in my life that I absolutely cannot explain. And at the same time, they do leave room for a little bit of doubt. Just enough so that I cannot be certain whether this is really happening or if I’m just going crazy. 

I’ve figured as much as that I cannot hope to understand this with my intellect. I’m neither a dumb nor a smart person. I’m somewhere in between. But I seem to be able to understand a few things. I also seem to understand more the less I allow my ego to meddle with the process. 

But this… I’m starting to see time after time, that where I thought I had everything figured out I didn’t. Not at all. I think that a good example would be what could, in Christian terms, be called “sexual immorality”. On the surface, it seems pretty straight forward. Sex is free as long as you find a willing partner and as long as no one gets an STD or it leads to an unwanted pregnancy we’re all good. This was my view for a long time. But now I’m starting to see that a life with many sexual partners, for me at least, became part of a destructive lifestyle. And having copulation as a goal in my interactions with people in some sense caused me to objectify them. And this objectification did not just damage my relationship with potential sex partners. It damaged my connection with other people in general. 

The point is that none of this was visible to me while I was engaged in the behavior. And the point of this, is that I at least have a very limited perspective. I’m not able to see my life, my choices and my relationship with myself, the world and other people from the all-encompassing perspective that God does. It’s easy to be prideful and arrogant and think that we can know more than we can. Especially if we believe that we are smart.

But the truth is, at least for me, that the more I try to figure things out on my own, the more confusion and misery I create. I’m able to convince myself of two completely different views on a subject, sometimes in the matter of minutes.

So, do I believe that I have any use for my reason? Yes. But I believe that the best use I can put it to, is to, as openly as possible try to understand what can be said of my human condition. How do I function and what is my place in the world? Knowing that God exists, is personal and has a will, what can I learn and understand about these facts? How can I best grow into the person that I believe that God wants me to be?

Stop letting circumstances dictate behavior

This is a habit and it needs to be destroyed!

It’s very easy for me to for example think that: Well, today I feel a little bit down, so I’ll just binge out on snacks and watch a movie or two. Instead of doing what I initially planned to do.

It’s not as easy as just deciding to change a habit (duh!). 

If I remember it correctly, it takes 21 days to actually change a habit and another 24 (45 in total) to make the change permanent in the way that it feels natural. 

But even though I cannot just snap my fingers and I’ve formed a more desirable habit, it’s not as if I have no control over myself either. What I’ve realized is that, as with so many things, this starts in my head. I set an intention and then I convince myself to break the intention. It’s not a question of giving in to an uncontrollable urge. It can be that too. But most of the time, I start rationalizing breaking my initial intention, in ways such as in the example above.

How am I going to accomplish anything if I choose the lower option when stuff happen. Stuff always happen. 

I think that the binge-out-and-watch-movies example is a good one. Because it illustrates a bigger, core-habit. The one of letting circumstances dictate my behavior. One thing that I realized right now, is that this habit also makes me look for excuses to break my intentions. I had actually not thought of this until now. But if there is a “reward” for a certain type of behavior, I will unconsciously start looking for what can bring me that reward. 

One thing that probably is necessary, is to broaden my perspective with regard to my choices. I probably cannot always follow my schedule when I feel too much resistance. It’s probably a good thing to have a certain flexibility, unless I just want to bang my head against the wall. But that doesn’t mean that there is nothing productive that I can do. Changing the habit might means that I cannot go for the easy, comfortable option. But it does not have to mean that I have to push through whatever tedious task I have in front of me either.

Barcodes, QR codes and the number of the beast

QR codes is an extension of barcodes. Have you ever wondered what numbers the three longer numbers on the barcodes stand for? Probably not. It’s not something that we normally think of. But compare them with the other numbers and see if you can find the answer.

Now, think of the fact that you need a QR-code to prove that you’ve taken the thing that will grant you access to a bunch of stuff in society and that the Bible warns about a mark of the beast that people will not be able to buy or sell without in the end times. Am I being paranoid and conspiratorial? Maybe, but…

Inside other people. Part 2

I can sit and talk to a person, who is someone completely different from whom I am perceiving. In a sense, this is always so, since I’m only perceiving a small part of the person, and this small part is in turn shaped by how the person interacts with me, unless the person is one of the few who is the same with everyone he or she talks to. 

But it’s more than that. The person in front of me might be a complete actor. I know that I’ve sometimes gotten this feeling about a person.

The more I think about this, the more staggering it becomes.

Inside other people. Part 1

This is so obvious and many might think that I’m an idiot for not really thinking about this until maybe a couple of years ago. Let me explain what I mean by this. Of course, throughout my life, I’ve many times pondered what someone else might be thinking of, whether it concerned me, something- or someone else. I’ve even engaged in vain fantasies about being admired by others. I still do sometimes, even though I try to stop myself when my thoughts wander in that direction. 

What am I talking about then? I’m talking about consciously thinking of the fact that we only have access to what’s inside our own heads. We don’t even have direct access to reality. Only our senses’ interpretation of it and our thoughts and feelings about it. 

Intentions, awareness and resistance

Set intentions, don’t try to force them and observe how you feel about the steps you decide to take towards realizing the intentions.

This is a formula that I am going to try and follow. If my beliefs are correct, I will, if possible, alter my course somehow, every time that I encounter resistance. And this will eventually lead me to my goals, if my goals are truly my own.

Life shouldn't be hard. Part 2

Imagine where I would have been today, if I in the past hadn’t welcomed anyone into my life, lived many years for instant gratifications, did not push people that were good for me away, hadn’t taken drugs in a harmful way, hadn’t engaged in promiscuous sexual behavior, hadn’t lied, hadn’t pushed down and ignored my negative emotions, hadn’t eaten a bunch of crappy food, had been more loving and forgiving towards those around me, studied harder, planned better for the future and in general thought more of the consequences of my actions. Etcetera.

Writing this down, I come to think of that most of these decisions are not either-or decisions. They are to a large degree things that I could have just not done. 

The conclusion: Life is easy. I’m the one making it hard.

There is something strange happening in the world. Part 2

So, what can we do? I believe that the only thing that we can do, is trust that God wants what’s best for us, and do our best to be our best, towards ourselves, each other and the world. I cannot believe in some final judgment where the saved go to heaven and sinners go to hell. There is no way for me to reconcile this with the idea of a good God. Not if God also is omnipotent. I don’t understand how an omnipotent, good god could make/let even the worst person in the history of mankind suffer forever. But I’m open to the possibility that there is something I don’t understand here.

What I do feel is important right now however, is that we do our best to be our best. Not because of some reward or punishment down the road, but because this is what God calls us to do. Because it is what is going to give us the best possible outcomes, and because there might be some hard lessons in store for us otherwise. 

I wish to interject that being our best, does not mean to be flawless. On the contrary, being our best often means to accept and embrace ourselves as flawed creatures fully. To allow ourselves to make mistakes and accept that we sometimes act against our own interests. Because this is part of being human.

So maybe, just maybe, this is not a time where God will let fire rain down on earth in a literal sense, where the saved will get to live in paradise, while sinners will face eternal suffering. Maybe this is rather the time where we really start seeing that living for our own selfish interests and instant gratifications will do nothing good for anyone. Maybe this is a time where we finally see our madness and confusion for what they are and choose to let go of them. 

And I don’t know. Maybe in the end it is as simple as letting go of fear and embracing love. But maybe things are a little more complicated than people make them as well. Maybe we don’t have to be afraid of anything. But maybe, when it comes to certain things that we need to let go of, we will find a few things that are rather difficult to do so with. Maybe things that we have made parts of our identity and that we are very defensive about. I know that this has been the case for me. And it took som pretty deep soul searching to see these things and how they affected my life and ultimately who I was as a person.

There is something strange happening in the world. Part 1

In New Age circles there is talk about “The Ascension Process”. In more biblical contexts, people are talking about “the apocalypse”, “armageddon” or “the end-times”. 

Personally, I find labels like this one problematic, since labels bring with them certain ideas and expectations, exclude others, brings some to the forefront and others to the back. 

A very common human trait seems to be that we want to know. And we don’t just want to know. We want to belong to the group that knows something that the others do not. This is of course one of the many ways that the ego tricks us and I don’t think that we can say “I don’t know” enough these days.

But I find it interesting to look at the ideas of the Ascension Process and The Apocalypse together. Because both of them have some merit. 

On the one hand, we have a huge amount of people reporting strange things happening with them, that seem to point to some magnificent revelation of us being much more than we seem, when we perceive the world through our physical bodies with our physical senses. I’m one of those people.

On the other hand, we have enough biblical end-times prophecies coming true that I believe it warrants at least enough concern, that we cannot just brush it off lightly. We of course have the verse from Matthew that says “You will hear of wars and rumors of wars.” We also have several places in the Bible, where it is talked about how people are going to be in the end-times. One usch place is Timothy 3:2-4: “People will be selfish, greedy, boastful, and conceited; they will be insulting, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, and irreligious; ³ they will be unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, and fierce; they will hate the good; ⁴ they will be treacherous, reckless, and swollen with pride; they will love pleasure rather than God.”

I’m not saying this to condemn anyone. I don’t think people are this way because they are bad. And these are all traits that I myself wrestle with. And… I’m actually going to write something completely different here than I thought. I honestly don’t think that these traits are more prevalent today than in Jesus’ times. It’s just that we recognize them as something bad today and we actually have a bigger chance of catching a glimpse of who we really are today than in ancient times. So this could actually be a prophecy that is unequivocally positive throughout. People are as they’ve always been, but now they have a chance to see it and recognize it as something that doesn’t make either themselves or anyone else happy. 

I guess that I believe that we can’t just condemn everything that belong to the category of New Age as bad or evil, because I’ve seen how this stuff works and how it is helping me to become a better person. Besides, what has been crammed into this labe is everything from letting go of negative emotional energy, to tarot cards and astrology, to channeling and contact with spirit guides.  

Life shouldn't be hard. Part 1

I just realized something. I’ve made so many bad decisions in my life, that I don’t know where to begin. And sure, everything in my life isn’t great. But I’m pretty happy with how things are in general. I have a wife that I love, a job that I like, I make okay money, I know a bunch of interesting stuff, my body works as it should with only some minor back problem that are slowly getting better and I, mostly, fill my spare time with things that feel engaging and meaningful.

The conclusion: Life is easy. I’m the one making it hard.

What is "self-talk"? Part 4

The thing is that when it comes to self-talk, it can take the shape of a dialogue rather than a monologue. It doesn’t have to. But it can. I believe it should. Because the negative voice inside ourselves does not have to have the only say. It can be challenged. And what I am beginning to realize, is that often we have a choice. A choice between bringing ourselves down or up. Between talking to ourselves in a condemning or forgiving way. Between showing compassion or hardness towards ourselves. Between trusting and distrusting ourselves and our abilities. 

And how we talk to ourselves may determine how we feel inside and whether we succeed or fail.