Let go and trust God

What if it was possible to relax and let go? I’ve had glimpses of this kind of state. Now let me tell you about it.

I’ve reached sort of a turning point in my life. I’m not over the top yet, but something has seriously began to shift inside of me. Something that I know is the destiny for everyone.

There are still parts of me that are resisting. That want to make things hard. That do not want to follow the natural flow of life. That still want to think my way through everything. Even though I’m more and more seeing how absolutely limited and deceptive my thoughts are. I’m not the little silly voice inside my head. I know this. 

I know that it’s time for us to stop being afraid. God is in control. He’s always been. And he’ll act through us if we just let him. He could force his will on us. He has that power. But he never will. We have to let go and allow. And here I’m going to discuss how we do this. 

In the end, this cannot be conveyed in its fullness through words. It’s so simple and easy, and yet so difficult. And it’s right in front of us. In fact, it’s closer to us than we are to ourselves.

If we want to hand our lives over to God, we need to practice present moment awareness or mindfulness. If someone says that mindfulness is bad because it didn’t originate in Christianity, please don’t listen to them. They are stuck in their silly little thoughts. Their egos. Their thoughts are telling them that what their thoughts are telling them must be right. But one single experience of real truth will prove the limitation of such thinking beyond any doubt.

Mindfulness, in essence, is just about bringing awareness to the present moment. And when we do that something begins to shift. Just be here now! When we start doing this in the beginning, we will notice that our attention starts to drift. This is because we have learned this throughout our lives. We have learned to be caught up in our thoughts. 

But mindfulness is not what this post is about.

What I want to talk about here is handing our lives over to God. In every given moment. In every moment we can choose to trust or live in fear. If we want to resist or let go. 

Jesus was the ideal that we should always strive for. He came here to show us the way. And in one way or another, he’s promised that he will return. But when Jesus came here 2000 years ago, he came in a way that basically no one expected. What if it’s the same when he returns? 

Jesus told us that his will and the will of the father are one. In fact, he told us that he and the father are one (Joh 10:30). 

This doesn’t have to be hard. Circumstances might make things hard at times. But following Jesus should make it easier to handle whatever circumstances come our way. Jesus came her to set us free. For real. So if we feel that what Jesus taught is not making us free, we are not reading his message correctly. If you treat the Bible like a stale rulebook, where you constantly limit yourself from anything that might offend God, even if it’s not clearly spelled out in the Bible, you are reading it all wrong. I think that the example of Christian rock and metal is such a telling one. If someone says that it’s wrong, I just stop listening immediately, because I know that the words come from a mind that is caught up in thoughts. When you realize that it’s possible to argue for just about anything and make it sound plausible, you are one step closer to breaking free from the prison of your thoughts.

What Jesus offers is real freedom. This while life lived according to our own wills is not real freedom. This kind of life is a prison of our lower natures. For some it’s a dirty prison full of stench. One that has bars of rusty iron. For others, it’s a shiny, clean prison with bars of gold and all the comforts you could ask for. But it’s still a prison.

But we don’t have to fear the prison either. The prison is an illusion. You can look at the Bible as a type of instruction manual for life on the earth. But not an instruction manual that is a rulebook that you have to decipher. The really important stuff is pretty straight forward: Don’t judge. Cultivate love. Be honest and respectful. Examine your own behavior instead of pointing out the faults of others. That sort of stuff. 

If you don’t follow the instruction manual, all that happens is that life doesn’t work properly. And so you’re caught up in the illusory prison.

Again, what we need to do is to choose God and to trust God in every given moment. There is no other way forward. We need to choose trust in our personal lives. And we need to choose trust when it comes to the events that unfold in the world. It’s not easy when we witness all of the chaos that is taking place. But whatever the circumstance, all is ultimately in God’s hands. The worst that can happen on a personal level is that we die. And the worst that can happen on a global level is that the world ends. If this happens, it’s the will of God. Instead of resisting, forcing and being afraid, why not just try to figure out what God wants, do that and leave the rest to God?

Being both okay and not okay at the same time

I’ve been thinking about this idea that we have to learn to love ourselves lately. And I want to make some sense of it. Because in one sense we need to be friends with ourselves. We need to face where we are with as much acceptance as possible. If we just keep castigating ourselves over past mistakes the commentator inside our heads will become an enemy and a tyrant. And we don’t need more of those.

But it’s not good to ignore our flaws either. We in all likelihood need to be a bit harsh with ourselves. Because we have in all likelihood become too comfortable. The modern world does that to most of us. Unless we make conscious choices to not allow it. And the situation in the world today demands that we are everything that we can be. 

I believe that the love that we have for ourselves is the only one that, rightly, cannot be unconditional. This may sound a bit harsh, but I think that it’s only logical. At least if we talk about self-love in the true sense, and not the kind of narcissistic self-love that is often promoted in society today. This is because even though we have an endless capacity for self-deception, we still have potential access to everything inside of us. Everything that motivates our actions. And somewhere we know, even if that knowing never reaches the surface of our consciousness. We know when we are lazy. We know when we avoid confronting our problems. We know when we are selfish. We know when we are trying to manipulate others and the world, so that we get what we want without having to work for it. We know when we are making excuses and rationalization. And we know damned well that we, eventually, are the ones that are going to have to pay for it.

Most of us are not victims of circumstances. For the vast majority of us, the situations that we are in are direct consequences of our choices and actions. And our choices and actions are consequences of how we have take care of our inner lives. And our inner lives are greatly affected by our experiences, even though we have quite a lot of room when it comes to how we respond to our experiences. And our experiences are to a large degree determined by our choices and actions and the situations that they put us in. And so it goes. Around and around. And the wheel either takes us up or down. But it will always keep spinning. Less so if we’re in a stabile situation and don’t feel the need for much change. But even then it spins slowly. Because time always makes it spin no matter what. And even then something may happen that changes its direction and/or causes it to spin faster.

Then we have the situation in the world. It is causing many wheels to spin faster. And will do so even more in the future. 

This doesn’t necessarily have to move us downhill. Because when we’re pushed into a corner we have a choice of either lay down and let whatever is pushing us into the corner eat us. Or we can use every ounce of muscle and intelligence that we’ve got to fight. Thus we either perish or become stronger.

Here is where I am right now. I know where my choices have gotten me. I know that a storm is coming, even if I don’t know exactly when or what it will look like.

I also know that God will love me all the way through the storm. That he will love me when I am unable to. And I know that whatever pain comes in my way, it’s nothing compared to eternity with God. But that is not something that I’m likely to remember when tragedy strikes. 

This is actually quite interesting when you think about it. On the one hand, we have God, that loves us unconditionally and whose love we can never earn. And on the other we have ourselves, whose love we must earn. Both are closer to us than any other person or creature. And in between, we have all kinds of relationships with all kinds of conditionality attached to them. God is closer to us than we are to ourselves. And knows us better than we know ourselves. The second closest person in our lives is ourselves. And this is the person that never can love us unconditionally. Not in a true, healthy sense.

So here is what I’ve figured. As with most things in life, we need to take a step back and bring some consciousness into our self-perception. Most of us are not all that we could be. And we have to be cautious when it comes to the impulse to earn salvation. I mean this both in a literal and metaphorical sense. Our self-worth should never be contingent upon our accomplishments and failures. But we must also never sweep our shortcomings under the rug. If we don’t like everything about ourselves there’s probably a reason for it. If this is the case, it’s healthy to remind ourselves that we are worthy just by being part of the crown of God’s creation. But we also need to take a look at the parts that we don’t like about ourselves. 

Two very important questions to ask ourselves in this context, is: Is it my own standards that I don’t live up to? Or is it other people’s, the world’s or God’s?

We need to be as honest about this as possible and realize that these are huge and deep questions. The answers are, for the most part, far from obvious. We need to think deeply about why the standards matter to us.

Ultimately it’s God’s standards that we need to aim for. In other words, our standards should, as far as possible, be the same as God’s. But these are impossible standards and we are not expected to live up to them.

If, on the other hand, our standards are the world’s or other people’s, we can be more or less certain that they will lead us astray. It’s always a good thing to listen to the perspectives of people that have something valuable to teach us. But we should always do this with God’s will and not theirs in mind. 

So, we need to cultivate a healthy, mature and honest relationship with ourselves. If this is something that we find worthwhile, there are two crucial questions that we need to ask ourselves: Are we doing our best to live up to God’s standards? Can we accept and forgive ourselves when we inevitably fail to do so?