The more I let go, the better my life seems to work

Life is full of distractions. Have you noticed that? The world is full of things that occupy our minds. Things that we attach importance to. And the more we hold on to those things, the more messy things get. I feel that I’ve gone through some sort of shift with this lately. But be that as it may, tomorrow I may very well be caught up in all of the little petty problems of life again. 

And that is what they are. Petty problems. Petty concerns. Petty needs. Petty wants. This is what we all so easily get caught up in. Things have to be a certain way for us to be happy. And we worry about a tomorrow that we know nothing about. 

What should I eat? What should I drink? Will I be able to pay my bills? Will I be able to put food on the table? 

And these are real concerns for many people. From a global perspective, it’s real concerns for most people. But is it for me? Is it for you? Would it really have to be for anyone, if each and every one of us took responsibility for getting our priorities straightened out? I'm obviously not talking about being perfect at this. Just about bringing some consciousness into such matters.

This is the world that we are creating together. And uneven distribution seems to be built into the way that life itself functions. Because more or less everywhere, both in the human and animal world, resources seem to be unevenly distributed. And there seems to be no political solutions to this. The only difference between left and right seems to be how the inequality arises. In liberal, capitalist systems we get an uneven distribution through the market. In socialist systems the political class, and/or those that have so much money that they can pay their way out of any regulations, get the biggest share.

And we often seem to make things worse with loads of mindless doing. Mindless doing that is intended to solve our problems. But that instead push things in the opposite direction from what we say that we want.

Why am I talking about this? Because there is a place where we haven’t looked for solutions yet. At least not on a larger scale. This might also be the place that truly separates us from the rest of the creation.

This place is within. What good could that possibly do? Well, we’ve tried everything else and the world is still in chaos. More so than ever. At least during the past few years. Even though, materially speaking, life is better than ever. 

There seems to be a false and a true personality inside of us. The false one is more or less what is usually referred to as the ego. This false personality is governed by instincts. And it has all these requirements that it needs to have fulfilled in order for life to be good. Those requirements are not something that we have chosen consciously. We have just more or less randomly reacted to the external world. 

Maybe if we take a step back and start to figure ourselves out a bit, instead of running around frantically trying to solve everything that we perceive as wrong, we might actually be able to do something good. If we start separating what is false from what is true inside ourselves. Because maybe there is some truth to the statement: “As within, so without”. 

And to make it clear, we are part of something so much grander that our little thoughts cannot begin to comprehend it. And yet we are so caught up with our thinking. I don’t know exactly what is happening in the world. Only that it’s big. Really big. 

And even if I did find all of the answers that I’m seeking, I’m more or less certain that I could not describe it in words. I know that life and the world are so much more than we can comprehend with the five senses. I know that whatever it is, we are going through some sort of shift on the planet right now. I also know that it has something to do with the Bible and Biblical prophecies. But I also know that I and everyone else only have begun to scratch the surface of things. 

Something that I’ve learned through experience, is that we are all connected through some sort of energy field that runs through us all. And the more I say yes to my experience and stop resisting what is happening in the present moment, the more I can feel it. In other words, the more I let go, the better things get. The more I stop demanding that the world gives me what I want, the more blessing I receive freely. 

So maybe it’s time to stop worrying and start trusting. I’m saying this as much to myself as to everyone else. If we truly believe in God, that God is who he says he is and that everything is in God’s hands, maybe we also need to adopt an attitude that matches this belief. This goes for both our personal issues, as well as the global problems that we are facing today. Maybe if we start looking within and just stop doing the things that we know we should stop doing, this will be enough. Maybe solutions to what seems to be out of our control will present themselves effortlessly. Without the need for a tyranny and forced compliance. 

Maybe what we need is not more force, but more letting go. More focus on the essential, while we ignore what is unimportant or out of our control. And I don’t know about you, but when I look at my days I find so much junk that occupies my awareness. Where would I be today, if I had determined to not allow these things to distract me? Where would you be? Where can we be in a year, if we decide this right now? In ten years?

Putting things into perspective and letting go of our baggage

Objectively speaking a new year doesn’t mean anything. The meaning of a new year only comes from the meaning we give it, individually and collectively. And yet, the power of a fresh start should not be underestimated.

When I started caring about my life and thus started the journey that I’m still on today I was at the bottom. I was a lazy, immoral emotional wreck that only looked out for number one. Today I still have a mess to clean up because of this. I still have a lot of bad habits and negative attitudes that I need to get rid of. And I have a financial situation that, while not being totally terrible, leaves much to be desired. 

You could say that my life was on auto-pilot, while I was living under the illusion of conscious choices. I think that this is part of the human condition that we are currently in. And even when we start understanding that this is how our lives work, much will still continue in the same manner. Because as soon as we stop truly being aware we fall asleep again. Then that pesky auto-pilot comes on. You just need to observe yourself a bit throughout the day to see that this is the way things work.

This has also, most definitely, been true for humanity as a collective, probably ever since we’ve been able to talk about “humanity as a collective” in any meaningful way. This does not work anymore. And let me say this: I don’t think that we are going to continue on this road for much longer. But if we do, global tyranny will be the result.

Since we’re a collective of individuals, it’s up to each and everyone of us to wake up, become conscious of ourselves and the world around us, and then take on as much responsibility as we can handle. What this means will differ depending on where we are in life. But more or less all of us fall short of what we could be.

So, how could I, a fairly intelligent person, be so blind to what was right in front of me? How could I, instead of looking at myself and my shortcomings, time and time again point out the faults of others?

The truth is that before finding God I didn’t care. Because I saw everything as pointless anyway. But even after I started caring, I kept on acting egoistic even though my intent was the opposite. I kept on making excuses for behaviors that I should have recognized as wrong. Why? 

I think that I hadn’t taken a serious look at myself. And at the same time, I managed to see myself as intellectually superior to others.

I hadn’t put my actions or attitudes under any real scrutiny. I lived in a confused fantasy world with a distorted reality perception. A few ingredients in this soup were: a mixture of wishful thinking, arrogance, pride, an inflated ego that stemmed from a low self-esteem, an unfounded sense of superiority and tons of other garbage. I was also not very good at putting myself in other people’s shoes. This last thing is, by the way, something that I’m still struggling with. And I’m hardly alone in this. A lack of empathy seems to be one of the many social diseases that plague our modern world. Especially when it comes to how our own words and actions affect other people.

What I’ve come to realize is that there are rights and wrongs. Very clearly so. And if we want to learn more about this, I believe that the best source is the New Testament of the Bible.

If we act in a way that seems beneficial to us, but is harmful to others and the world, somewhere it will also hurt us. It may give us wealth and pleasure, but it will inevitably destroy our character. For people with a conscience, it will inevitably also cause anxiety. And it certainly does not give us a sense of meaning. Furthermore, it also damages our relationship with other people and ultimately with God, no matter if we believe in him or not. 

These are all harms that can be hidden fairly well. Both from ourselves and others. But they are most certainly there.

I think that almost all of us have things in our lives that we need to change, even if we’re not overall dissatisfied with out lives. But if you’re dissatisfied with where your life is today, the best thing is probably not to be angry with yourself for allowing things to become that way. You didn’t ask for the world to be what it is. You didn’t know that what the world sold you was a junk pile of lies. “This is how it is”, the world said. “This is what’s important and these are the keys to a happy, fulfilled life.” The world took your survival instinct and turned it into a tool of destruction. And it usually takes some sort of crisis for us to become aware of it.

Maybe you didn’t know what you were doing when you created whatever mess you’re in. But it’s still up to you to clean it up. No one is going to do it for you and all of the anger and complaining in the world won’t change that fact. And life is not going to get any better just because you manage to convince someone that you’re not to blame for your situation.

In one sense, we need to accept that we are never going to be perfect. In this sense, we need to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion when it comes to our shortcomings. Because failure to live up to what we could be is a necessary component of life. Even for the greatest among us. And in the end, whatever we cannot do ourselves we need to lay in the hands of God.

That being said, we must never allow acceptance to turn into resignation. Especially not in these troubled times, with global tyranny being a real threat that looms in the horizon. No matter who and where we are, we need to be able to stand as strong as we are capable of.

When we think of what we want to let go of, I think that it’s worth engaging in some serious thought about who we want to become. Who we are in relation to who we say that that we want to be. And why we want to be who we say that we want to be. 

We probably don’t want to replace everything in our lives. Some have less baggage. Others have more. But no matter what, there is another truer self inside us that is waiting to be born. One that comes through in those sides of us that feel true. That don’t just seem created by our experiences, circumstances and automatic reactions to them. I know that you can feel this true version of yourself. The one that is buried underneath the various layers of falseness that have been created by being both in the world and of it.

I would propose that we need to rethink our ideal if the honest answer to why we want to be who we want to be, is that we want to be admired by others. I would also caution against making any type of “happy” into some sort of end goal.

Now, let me be the first one to admit that I’m not very good at following Jesus. There are still huge remnants inside of me, of the person I no longer wish to be. There are sides of me that are selfish, moody, judgmental and fearful. Just to name a few things.

Yet, I think that the best way of doing this self-inventory, is in light of the ideal of Jesus. Because, even though it’s in practice impossible to live up to such an ideal, why aim for anything less? Jesus knew that the only way to true freedom and happiness, was in the obedience to God and the service to others. This is of course not what the world tells us. But is the ways of the world making us feel free and happy?

A little New Years greeting

2022 has been a terrible year, for the world, for me personally and for my wife. But, for us, it has also been a year of much growth. I feel that it has been a year where many problems have been brought to the surface. In a way where we couldn’t ignore them any more. When this happens, you either give up or deal with them to the best of your ability. The first option has been tempting on many occasions. 

It’s been a rather even distribution of pains that I have caused myself, or we have caused together, and pains that have been beyond my/our control. 

Among the things that have happened, we’ve had a situation that I will not discuss here, we’ve lost a beloved cat, we’ve continued struggling financially and I’ve come face to face with a lot inside myself that I don’t like.

In this context it’s relevant to ask both if things really are beyond one’s control, and how much free will is involved in one’s bad decisions. This could be of particular interest now, as this is the time of the year when we start anew and make resolutions to better ourselves. 

On the one hand, we may feel that many things just happen to us, we are victims of circumstances and so on. But it’s rare that the situations have nothing whatsoever to do with poor decisions. Even if they might not be a direct consequence of them. If, for example, our car breaks down, it’s usually not something that we had no way of foreseeing. Maybe we bought a cheap, used car. Maybe we couldn’t afford a better car because we made poor financial decision in the past. Or we couldn’t afford to have that engine noise checked out, also because of poor financial decisions in the past.

Furthermore, if we have solid ground beneath our feet, we can usually handle what comes our way. But if we don’t, many problems turn into disasters. 

On the other hand, we wouldn’t make bad decisions if we knew that they were bad decision. At least not if we could help ourselves. Furthermore, how clearly we view our behavior and how much willpower we have to change, seems to be determined by factors beyond our control to a large degree. Something usually has to happen, that puts things into a new perspective. 

I could write several books about the problem of free will, so I will leave the discussion with this: I’ve gotten into the habit of observing myself quite a bit and I’ve done a fair bit of self-examination. And I still constantly catch myself lying to myself and act in ways that go against what I’ve intended. I’ve learned that the human capacity for self-deception is endless. This is where I’m at. But many people go through their whole lives without really making conscious choices. Where it’s obvious to anyone but themselves, that the reasons for their actions are entirely different from what they think. 

So, do you truly know why you do what you do? Do your actions have the consequences that you intend? Would you rather be right or have the best possible outcome? How much of your behavior is driven by ego?

As we enter the new year, I wish to be more conscious of the choices that I’m making and why I’m making them. I want to act less from the ego and more in alignment with God’s will. To let go of the lower parts of me while strengthening the higher.

My hopes for humanity are similar to what I personally aim for. I hope that more people start to wake up to the fact that God is the only authority that we need. That more people start taking responsibility for their actions, rather than looking to people in power (whether they are our elected rulers or those that are pulling their strings) for solutions and guidance. 

Handing over power to someone else has never worked before, so why should it now? The world is in crisis and things are not always as they appear. As a matter of fact, I would say that almost nothing is as it appears. But in all of this we still have God and each other. We don’t have to believe the same things or have the same opinions in order for us to come together and start building something better. The idea that we all have to agree to get along is dividing us, when we could face our challenges together.

There are people that want things to be this way. They want this so that we continue feeling powerless. Because if we feel powerless, we are likely to accept their solutions instead. We are likely to hand over our power to them instead. A power that really only belongs to God. 

In this state we are crippled. Instead of trying to force others to change, we can ask God what we need to change in ourselves. And instead of imposing our will on other people, we can do our best to work together with them. To think of how we can be the kinds of people that others would want to cooperate harmoniously with, rather than make others do what we want them to.

So, in spite of everything that has been over the past few years, I do have some hopes for 2023. Because I don’t think that I’m the only one that, during the past year, has become acutely aware of all of the things that don’t work and that I don’t want in my life. 

But it’s up to each and every one of us. Will we take responsibility for our lives, rise above all that is small and petty inside of ourselves, strive for what is truly good and noble and thus take our power back?

Happy New Year!

A little Christmas Greeting

I thought that I’d take a break from my regular blogging this Saturday, since it’s Christmas and most people probably have better things to do than to read blogs. But I thought that I’d just put a small piece together.

I want to begin by saying merry Christmas to all of my family and friends. Thank you for having put up with me throughout the years. You mean more to me than I often show.

Now, it’s easy to get cynical about Christmas these days. Just like it’s easy to get cynical about many things these days. You can take the fun and beauty out of most things if this is what you want.

If you want to, you can choose to look at Christmas as a holiday of drunkenness, gluttony, loneliness and empty bank accounts. You can point out that Jesus was almost certainly not born on the 25^th of December. And so on.

Or you can choose to reflect upon what Christmas represents, no matter when Jesus was born. That Christmas represents not just the birth of Jesus, but the beginning of the rebirth of the whole world and the whole of humanity. 

You look at Christmas as a time when you can allow yourself to take a break from an often hectic life and spend time with your loved ones, without feeling guilty about not being productive.

When pondering the significance of gifts, you can think about the gift of life that God has given you. You may think of the gifts that await you in the future. And you can think of the fact that God is himself the greatest gift of all. You can think of how this is reflected in the giving of gifts between people. Because it is the giver and not the gifts that is of true importance to us. We do well to remember this.

I’m not always good at seeing the best in the world and the people in it. But I want to be better at it. Not in the delusional way, where I tell myself that everything is fine when it really isn’t, while pretending that my problems don’t bother me, even though it’s obvious that they do.

No, I mean to see all the good that is in my life and the world. To not make more than I have to of my problems. To not ruminate on them if I can help it. To not let the joys just fly by while my mind is occupied with the past or the future. To instead take time to appreciate and be thankful for all my blessings.

This is where I want my focus to be. ghggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggn6767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767jhnWhat do your eyes see when they view the world?

Merry Christmas!

Have Faith!

Everything is in God’s hands. EVERYTHING is in God’s hands! In these troubled times it’s so easy to forget that. That there is a plan. That no matter how things look on the surface, both on a global and personal level, ultimately everything is going to be okay. This is what the Bible promises. This is what many of the Bible stories point to. For example when Moses parts the sea, when David slays Goliath, when Daniel and his friends walk into the fiery furnace, when Peter walks on the water with Jesus or when Jesus calms the raging storm. No matter what happens, God is always there with us. Even when the apostles were martyred, they knew that they were going home.

With this I don’t mean to trivialize the suffering that is happening in the world. But if we have faith, we know that the suffering does not take place in an ultimately meaningless world. We know that there will be redemption for those who suffer.

We all have our proverbial demons (and maybe some literal ones as well). One of mine is worries about money. I know perfectly well that my worries are very small in comparison to what many people go through. Me and my wife can still pay our bills and put food on the table. And we have a safety net of people around us if something goes seriously wrong.

Yet, when everything gets more expensive I worry. And I’m imagining all kinds of scenarios where we have to freeze and don’t have food, because we don’t have a solid financial ground to stand on. This is not to have faith. Faith is to do one’s best with what one has and leave the rest to God. Faith is to look boldly at the uncertainty of the future and say: “thy will be done”. 

What I have control over, is what I do with my relationship with my creator and the people around me. I have control over what kind of person I become through my daily choices. I can control what kind of character I develop.

Luckily this is where we can find our strongest foundation. Not in material possessions or riches. Our strongest foundation is built on where we stand with God, who we are and the people we surround ourselves with. 

By focusing on my little worries, I both distrust God and display a lack of proper care. 

What do I mean by “lack of proper care”?

Let me give you an example. Right now, billionaires all over the world are building bunkers, that are built to protect and maintain a comfortable lifestyle during a crisis. In other words, in the face of a global disaster, they think primarily of saving themselves and their families. 

But in light of what often runs through my mind at this time, am I so different? Are you? What are the chances that we would do the same if we could? 

Proper care means to focus on the greater picture. What at least I instead often focus on, is how everything affects me personally. How the state of the world interferes with my own goals, plans, dreams, wishes and desires. This while I ought to focus on what God wants with my life.

This leads to some tough questions: Is my life focused around what God wants or what my ego wants? Do my thoughts, words and actions match my answer, if I’m being honest with myself? 

I know that my answers to these questions are far from satisfying. But a serious attempt at being honest with oneself is at least a start.

I believe that faith is crucial here. Faith in that we don’t live in a cold, indifferent world where the future is completely uncertain. Faith in that there is a meaning to everything that is happening. Faith in that everything is in God’s hands. Faith that whatever happens, we can still trust God in the end. Faith that God holds us and preserves us, even in death.

What God asks of us, is to be okay with uncertainty. With not knowing everything in advance. To not let the world fool us into believing that there is no hope beyond politics, economics and science. To trust that whatever comes our way, ultimately it’s for the best. To truly believe in a life and a reality beyond this one, not just with our intellects, but with our whole being. To truly believe in God. That God is a personal God, that cares intimately for us. That he has a plan for everything that is happening right now. That God wants a relationship with us and that, in his time and not ours, he wants to give us everything. To allow these beliefs to shine through our thoughts, words and actions.

Have faith! 

Let's talk about SIN and SALVATION PART 2

Today it’s not so popular to talk about sin. For obvious reasons. People don’t like the burden that they feel that it places on their shoulders. They don’t like the thought of being judged. Yet, if we pay attention, can’t we see that reality judges us all the time? Some people get away with sinning, but I would say that most don’t. Some consequences are obvious: Thieves get caught. Liars get exposed. But often the fear of getting caught or exposed is a punishment in itself. And at least from my experience, sexual immorality drains us mentally and damages our relation to other people. But we seldom see such less obvious consequences. Many instead get angry. They think that religion wants to hinder them from enjoying life for no good reason. Actually I understand this. I think that people forcing religious morals on others has done more damage when it comes to this than anything else. 

I’ve gained a gained a clearer perspective on my own past and present sinfulness lately. One that does not excuse, but explains. And this is important. Explanations. Because when we can explain something we can understand it. We can find acceptance and forgive ourselves. We can start thinking constructively about our situation and look for the best ways of handling it. But before we have diagnosed the problem, we are in the dark. Everything seems chaotic, overwhelming and it seems impossible to get a handle on it.

In some strange way, I thought that all of what I was doing back in “the good old days” was somehow justifiable. I think that this is the case for most people, even though I believe that there are some truly evil people in the world as well. And yet, as I said in the first post, somehow I can’t get away from the feeling that we are somehow still responsible for our actions. Even though we can truly say that, at the time, we didn’t know any better. 

This is a moral problem that I think deserves to be taken seriously. Stated clearly, the problem is as follows: “Basically everyone seem to find justifications for their actions inside their heads. This means that everyone seem to believe that what they are doing is right, no matter how wrong it is. And yet, we seem to be morally responsible for our actions.”

In one sense, as I said in the beginning, moral responsibility hits us directly through the consequences of our actions and the characters that we develop through our choices. But there seems to be something that goes beyond this. Maybe it’s something like this: If God exists, which he does, and he seems to have woven some sort of moral into the fabric of reality, going against this moral might also impact our relationship with God somehow. 

Until I started thinking in the terms of moral responsibility, I was blind to all of my problems. Because I just let go and allowed my impulses to rule me, while thinking that I was making a free choice. 

The change in perspective came with my belief in God. And here is the thing that I find interesting. Before I started believing in God and consequently that there was such a thing as right and wrong, I was not aware that I wasn’t really making conscious choices at all. I thought that I was free when I followed my impulses. It was first when I started to resist my impulses that I realized that they were controlling me.

What I wonder about is where we should cut ourselves some slack and say that “we’re only human” or “I didn’t know any better at the time” and when we should be more harsh with ourselves. How guilty should we feel? Until we start taking faith seriously, we are in the grip of the ways of the world. The world tells us that a lot of things are okay that goes against our faith. And if we engage in everything that the world tells us is okay, and even many things that our cultures encourage, we are going to become corrupted. 

The Bible does say that the truth is written into our hearts. And while this may be true, we may go through our whole lives without learning to really listen. How much blame can be put on our shoulders, if we’ve been taught the wrong things our whole lives and never been given any real reasons to question our beliefs? 

Many questions come to mind when I ponder this. Are we allowed to factor in our own needs when we ponder God’s demands? Should we always stay on the safe side when it comes to issues that God, according to some people, may have a problem with? Obviously, if our choices may send us to hell, the most reasonable course of action would be to abstain from anything that may send us there. No matter how far fetched it seems. But what if this is not how God wants us to live our lives? Can we really have a loving relationship with God if we live this way? Is this what a good relationship with a parent would look like? You abstaining from most things that you enjoy out of fear of punishment, even if you yourself can’t find any good reason why?

The world is, for example, full of people that are saying that Christian rock is sinful music. I personally love bands like Skillet, Rebecca st. James, The Letter Black and Éowyn. And I feel that listening to them actually helps me become a better person. The lyrics are uplifting, encouraging and they have gotten me through many tough times.

But if I could actually get tortured for all eternity for listening to them, I might consider listening only to psalms and classical music that came before Beethoven. Because apparently many people at Beethoven’s time were worried what effect his music might have on people. So better not listen to Beethoven, just to be on the safe side. 

To me, this line of reasoning becomes silly. When someone can point to a Bible verse that tells me, in clear language, that I cannot listen to rock music, I’ll stop listening to Christian rock. 

I think that there is an argument to be made for viewing sin as something that corrupts. So if something does not seem to corrupt us, or cause corruption in general, I think chances are low that it actually is sin. And I have yet to find something that the Bible clearly warns against, that doesn’t corrupt us eventually. Ultimately, I believe that this is between us, our conscience and God. No other human can decide for us if something is a sin or not. If something is having a corrupting influence on us or not.

I would here like to offer a small warning from my own life. I used to live a life that was slowly numbing my emotions, while I was slowly becoming weak, cowardly and irresponsible. I lived without realizing this for many years. This is why sin can be so insidious. We don’t see how it affects us until we have an honest look at ourselves.

Consider the small example above, when you examine your own life and what effect your actions and lifestyle have on you and your character. Just because you manage to tell yourself and others that everything is okay it doesn’t mean that it is. And the consequences are there whether you believe in them or not. I believe that you have the absolute right to do whatever you please with your life. But life is full of traps that are allowed and encouraged by society. Traps that are often hard to spot when you don’t see yourself, your actions and their consequences clearly. Which you almost never do. And somewhere down the line you will have to reap what you sow. 

I do however believe that the more we take these questions seriously and the more honest we are with ourselves, the better our chances are. And ultimately, this really is between you, yourself and God. I don’t wish to tell anyone what is right or wrong, except when it comes to the really obvious, such as killing or stealing. I’m still figuring this out myself. 

Neither do I want to claim that I know the ultimate consequences of our actions. I do however want to encourage anyone reading this to take the question of right and wrong seriously. And to not be too hasty with the conclusions that this deliberation leads to. There is so much potential for wishful thinking here. I know. Because I’ve fooled myself countless times and had to deal with the consequences.

TO PART 1

Photos:

Thunder: Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Church: Souris on Unsplash

Let's talk about SIN and SALVATION PART 1

Some people say that we all do our best from where we’re at. Others say that we’re all sinners, deserving God’s judgment and that everyone that isn’t the right type of Christian will go to hell. 

These are of course two extremes, but people seem to lean quite heavily towards one of the two sides. I find both views to be too simple for such a complex problem as sin. And both are deeply problematic for many other, more or less obvious reasons.

In this post I want to call for an open conversation and some afterthought, without giving any definite answers. Because there are so many opinions on these difficult subjects and so little nuance. 

So let’s get into it.

The first view seems kind and forgiving on the surface. We already live with a lot of shame and guilt in today’s world, so if we can find a solid argument that leads to the conclusion that we are good just the way we are, this seems like a good thing. But it also seems to negate free will and moral responsibility. Taken to its extreme, this view also seems to imply that if I decide to live a life of lying, cheating, stealing and murder it’s not really my fault, because from where I am it’s the best that I can do.

Some are willing to live with these consequences. But I am not. I believe that free will and moral responsibility is what separates us from animals. I also know that no matter if we believe in free will or not, we live as if we have such a will. Our whole existence, from the individual to the whole global collective, relies on us being responsible for our own actions.

On the other hand, the second view seems incredibly harsh. And it seems to add an element of arbitrariness to something as important as the eternal destiny of our souls. To be clear, what we’re talking about here is the possibility of being tortured forever. If this is the truth, we have no other choice than to accept it and do our best to avoid such a fate. And I would not want to be someone that leads people astray with regards to this. Both for other people’s and my own sake. But our beliefs determine both what world we experience and how we perceive God. So I think that this question deserves some rather serious deliberation before we decide on what to believe. 

And now I haven’t even discussed the problem that is solved by the first view. Namely that we often don’t understand what we do when we do it, or that we may be engaged in something morally questionable. Or the corrupting influence that our culture today clearly has on us. 

I will elaborate on this in the second post. For now, it will suffice for me to say that I believe it to be irresponsible and cowardly to blame all our actions on society. But I also think that it’s too harsh to blame ourselves completely, when, as I said, we’re exposed to so much corruption on a daily basis.

The way out of judgment, according to the view that we are discussing, is to accept Jesus as our lord and savior. But who wouldn’t do that, if they understood that this is what is required to be saved? I guess that it’s possible to reject this offer out of pride. But no one in their right mind, knowing fully what they rejected, would make such a decision.

I believe that there has to be a middle way somewhere. I’ve been struggling with some mental issues throughout my life. Issues that I’ve gained a clearer perspective on the past few years. This means that I so well know how difficult self-control can be. 

It’s easier to see how helpless we are in the face of our own psyches when we’re struggling with minds that turn against us. But I believe that this is more or less true for all of us. Illness or not, we all seem to be a little bit sick. If we try to stand on our own and make ourselves the final authority of our lives, we will be victims of forces beyond our control. Forces in the world and inside ourselves. Our animal nature will persuade us of all kinds of things all on its own, while our thoughts provide us with the reasons that give us the illusion of choice. Then we have the world with its morals and temptations. This seems to be the foundation of sin. And seen in this light, sin does seem more like a failure than a free choice.

But there has to be some choice somewhere. As I said before, free will and moral responsibility seem to be woven into what it means to be human and without them we are reduced to thinking animals. So, where does this leave us? 

Let’s look at what I think that the second view gets right. Even if I have free will and am responsible for my actions, I seem unable to do this all on my own. 

I will present the line of reasoning that is soon to follow in a very condensed form here. It has almost twenty years of struggles, experiences and thinking back and forth behind it. A journey that it would take several books to describe. But this is where I’ve landed. 

My line of reasoning is as follows: The Bible expresses a truth about God and reality that cannot be found anywhere else but the Bible. If it is so, then the death and resurrection of Jesus and what it means for us must also be true. Because this is the absolute focal point of the Bible. It cannot be grasped with the intellect. I do think that there is a whole conversation to be had about the validity of the theology that has grown out of the churches since this event. But the Bible is clear about that everything in it points towards the death and resurrection of Jesus and what it means for us. So I cannot believe that the message of the Bible is inspired by God and then reject what Jesus’ death and resurrection means for us. And I cannot allow my petty, faulty, often arrogant intellect get in the way of this, just because it cannot be understood on an intellectual level.

The interesting thing is that the more I ponder this, the more I seem to get confirmations that it’s written into my heart. Just like the Bible says. It feels more and more real. 

So we seem to need Jesus for our salvation and atonement for our sins. We need to cultivate a relationship with the Holy Spirit so that we have a friend that is always with us and guides us. And we of course need to have the correct beliefs about God and cultivate our relationship with him. Because if we don’t know what we are aiming for, we are bound to miss the mark. Without this foundation everything else crumbles, both on an individual and collective level. We exist to love and worship God. All other gifts from God pale in comparison with this relationship.

Finally, we need a moral system to guide us. To me at least, the best system that I’ve found is the Bible. It shows us how to act in a dangerous world so that we don’t get swept away by the usual storms that surround us. And if a big storm comes, which it will, it gives us the best possible conditions to survive it. The Bible requires us to grow up and take responsibility. To abstain from things that are bad for us and do what’s good for us.

The proof is in the pudding. Societies that reject God always crumble sooner or later. It might look good for a while. Everyone seems free, happy etcetera. But left to their own, our animal natures soon takes over and it’s survival of the fittest from then on. The strongest, brightest and most ruthless win while the rest of the world suffers and falls apart. And if this continues long enough, there are no winners left at all.

I will end this post here. But I hope that you will come back and read my next post on Wednesday, where I try to tie this all together. 

TO PART 2

Photos:

Thunder: Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Church: Souris on Unsplash

Behavioral patterns, worldviews and faith

Our world today is insanity on steroids. And most of us are more or less guilty of allowing for it to be this way. In this instance, guilt does not imply intent. In this case it is often the opposite of intent. 

One well known that quote about insanity is that it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. Now we do the same things that have been proven to make things worse. And we do them more and faster, over and over again. We do them more and faster while somehow expecting thing to get better. Until we lose hope completely and just keep doing things out of habit while we wait for death.

The good news is that there is a rather clear way out of this mess. Our lives, both on an individual and collective level, are the sum total of the circumstances we are born into, plus our thoughts, feelings, words, beliefs and actions. And all of these things go together. 

Sure, things happen that we have no control over whatsoever, which are devastating beyond repair. But these things are a very small minority. For the most part, when tragedy strikes, it could either have been avoided all together, or we could be in a position where we could cope with it enough to get by,

So if life isn’t what we want it to be, this is where we have to look. At our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Today I’m going to focus on our beliefs. Because this is where it starts. Our beliefs are the lense that we view reality through and depending on what we believe, it will have a tremendous effect on our lives.

We can take a very prevalent belief in today’s society. If we believe that life ultimately is pointless, devoid of higher meaning, this will be reflected in what we think, feel, do and say. If you think that life isn’t worth taking seriously anyway, you might as well stay an infant till the day you die and waste your life on fastfood and mindless entertainment. 

This was where I was heading in my late teens and early twenties. I remember quite clearly when this destructive philosophy started to get hold of my mind. When I was seventeen I read The Satanic Bible by Anton Lavey. For those that don’t know, on the surface it’s ego-affirming atheism, even though I today believe that there is something more sinister behind its content. 

I was an atheist and the idea that there are no such things as right and wrong or higher meanings appealed to me. I found it to be the logical conclusion of the belief that we seize to exist completely when we die. If this would be the conditions that we all live under, I still can’t see how it could be any different. Luckily I know better today.

If you want to know how much beliefs affect us, this whole single worldview shaped how I dressed, the music I listened to, what friends I hung out with and what activities I chose to engage in. And all of these things reinforced each other. And my choices twenty years ago still have an impact on my life today. Because even when you find abundant proof that God exists, that life doesn’t end with death and you therefore want to turn your life around, it’s not that easy. I’m glad that I didn’t form any addictions, except maybe occasional overeating. But I have an overwhelming load of habitual ways of thinking and acting that are not easy to let go of. 

Have you ever noticed what happens when you try to act against an ingrained pattern? Anxiety will rise up inside. You will feel a tremendous pull to stay where you are and act like you’ve always acted. And this is if you’re lucky enough to realize that you are acting out a pattern that you wish to change. Many times you will just unconsciously assume that “this is how reality is and this is the only possible response to it.” 

What I’ve found, which is something that I talk about a lot on this blog, is that we are not in control of our lives. Not left to ourselves and our own reason. Our thoughts may fool us that we are making rational decision, while in reality we are not.

This line of thought is what I will expand on in the next blog post.

Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash