The more I let go, the better my life seems to work

Life is full of distractions. Have you noticed that? The world is full of things that occupy our minds. Things that we attach importance to. And the more we hold on to those things, the more messy things get. I feel that I’ve gone through some sort of shift with this lately. But be that as it may, tomorrow I may very well be caught up in all of the little petty problems of life again. 

And that is what they are. Petty problems. Petty concerns. Petty needs. Petty wants. This is what we all so easily get caught up in. Things have to be a certain way for us to be happy. And we worry about a tomorrow that we know nothing about. 

What should I eat? What should I drink? Will I be able to pay my bills? Will I be able to put food on the table? 

And these are real concerns for many people. From a global perspective, it’s real concerns for most people. But is it for me? Is it for you? Would it really have to be for anyone, if each and every one of us took responsibility for getting our priorities straightened out? I'm obviously not talking about being perfect at this. Just about bringing some consciousness into such matters.

This is the world that we are creating together. And uneven distribution seems to be built into the way that life itself functions. Because more or less everywhere, both in the human and animal world, resources seem to be unevenly distributed. And there seems to be no political solutions to this. The only difference between left and right seems to be how the inequality arises. In liberal, capitalist systems we get an uneven distribution through the market. In socialist systems the political class, and/or those that have so much money that they can pay their way out of any regulations, get the biggest share.

And we often seem to make things worse with loads of mindless doing. Mindless doing that is intended to solve our problems. But that instead push things in the opposite direction from what we say that we want.

Why am I talking about this? Because there is a place where we haven’t looked for solutions yet. At least not on a larger scale. This might also be the place that truly separates us from the rest of the creation.

This place is within. What good could that possibly do? Well, we’ve tried everything else and the world is still in chaos. More so than ever. At least during the past few years. Even though, materially speaking, life is better than ever. 

There seems to be a false and a true personality inside of us. The false one is more or less what is usually referred to as the ego. This false personality is governed by instincts. And it has all these requirements that it needs to have fulfilled in order for life to be good. Those requirements are not something that we have chosen consciously. We have just more or less randomly reacted to the external world. 

Maybe if we take a step back and start to figure ourselves out a bit, instead of running around frantically trying to solve everything that we perceive as wrong, we might actually be able to do something good. If we start separating what is false from what is true inside ourselves. Because maybe there is some truth to the statement: “As within, so without”. 

And to make it clear, we are part of something so much grander that our little thoughts cannot begin to comprehend it. And yet we are so caught up with our thinking. I don’t know exactly what is happening in the world. Only that it’s big. Really big. 

And even if I did find all of the answers that I’m seeking, I’m more or less certain that I could not describe it in words. I know that life and the world are so much more than we can comprehend with the five senses. I know that whatever it is, we are going through some sort of shift on the planet right now. I also know that it has something to do with the Bible and Biblical prophecies. But I also know that I and everyone else only have begun to scratch the surface of things. 

Something that I’ve learned through experience, is that we are all connected through some sort of energy field that runs through us all. And the more I say yes to my experience and stop resisting what is happening in the present moment, the more I can feel it. In other words, the more I let go, the better things get. The more I stop demanding that the world gives me what I want, the more blessing I receive freely. 

So maybe it’s time to stop worrying and start trusting. I’m saying this as much to myself as to everyone else. If we truly believe in God, that God is who he says he is and that everything is in God’s hands, maybe we also need to adopt an attitude that matches this belief. This goes for both our personal issues, as well as the global problems that we are facing today. Maybe if we start looking within and just stop doing the things that we know we should stop doing, this will be enough. Maybe solutions to what seems to be out of our control will present themselves effortlessly. Without the need for a tyranny and forced compliance. 

Maybe what we need is not more force, but more letting go. More focus on the essential, while we ignore what is unimportant or out of our control. And I don’t know about you, but when I look at my days I find so much junk that occupies my awareness. Where would I be today, if I had determined to not allow these things to distract me? Where would you be? Where can we be in a year, if we decide this right now? In ten years?

Radical love and awareness

Jesus didn’t just show us what we could be. He also taught that it is our natural state. He showed us this natural state through his character and actions. He showed us what unconditional love looks like. 

Now, we may get confused about what unconditional love means. To love unconditionally is to love no matter what. But a person that loves unconditionally can still demand things of others. Just not as a condition for love. Jesus demanded things of people. He said: “This is what you need to do to follow me” and “This is what you need to do if you want to be free and happy”. The world is what it is and it comes with its conditions. And no matter how much Jesus loves, as long as we live in a fallen world, he can’t help us out of our bondage unless we do what he says that we need to do in order to be free. 

In any interaction with another person, we can choose to meet that person with love and openness. This is our natural state. But from the day we were born, we have been programmed to respond otherwise. Therefore, what should come natural is hard for most of us. What should come natural is met with resistance. I am no exception to this. This is not something that I have conquered within myself. And this is where it has to begin: within ourselves. Actions and words that on the surface are identical, can have opposite meanings depending on what inner state that they stem from.

In any interaction with another person, we can choose to think loving thoughts about the person. We can choose what qualities to focus on. And every time we make such a choice, our hearts open or close a little bit. Love is a feeling that exists in infinite abundance, we can choose it any time and it is always possible to cultivate more of it.

Jesus said: “turn the other cheek” and “love your enemies”. He also told us over and over again to look at our own shortcomings, instead of finding faults in others. These are very clear instructions. There is very little room for misunderstanding here.

So why don’t we always cultivate love. For me, at least part of the reason was that no one told me that I had a choice. At least not in a way that got through to me. And here is where the programming comes in. We learn so many things without questioning them. From movies, music, the news, people around us and other channels, we learn that we live in a hostile world full of selfish people. We learn that power struggles is a necessary part of life, that we live in scarcity and that we need to take what we can and guard ourselves against others. We learn that material possessions and status are important for a happy life. We learn that self esteem comes from putting others in their place and taking revenge. We learn that we should feel offended when we think that someone has wronged us. Just to name a few ways of functioning in the world, that have nothing to do with love, that many of us learn without questioning. 

It is very much a question of awareness whether we make a conscious choice about these matters or not. We may for example feel justified in our anger towards someone. Maybe the person has intentionally wronged us in some way. But if we manage to take a step back and observe what is going on, we can consider what course of action is most beneficial to all concerned parties. Hint: It’s usually not to go off on a slanderous rant as we vent our hurt feelings to a mutual friend. In fact, if we can stop ourselves at the level of our thoughts, this is usually the best way of approaching the issue. If we can keep calm and remember that our thoughts do not represent reality. 

The problem is that we are seldom fully aware of what is going on inside of our own heads. We often assume that we are. But upon closer inspection, we notice all kinds of nonsense in our minds. We notice that there is a constant chatter in our minds whether we like it or not, that we believe many thoughts without sufficient reason and that we often confuse thoughts and feelings. For example. 

We also notice something else, which is very relevant here. Namely that once a negative emotion gets hold of us, we lose our conscious awareness. Then the emotion starts to color our thoughts and perceptions, it becomes much easier to mistake our distorted perception of reality for reality and to start engaging in behavior that has no clear purpose. Such as saying something that we may regret later, to- or about another person. Such as acting in a way that is not loving.

But we often do have a few seconds where we remember, for example, a commitment not to judge. But then comes the justifications: “He or she did this or that to me”. Or we simply pretend that we didn’t hear the little reminder of our commitment at all. Our inner life is interesting in that way, in a rather frightening manner. We often know, on some level, that we have the choice of stopping ourselves. But another side of us doesn’t want to. And when this side wins we let go. And when we let go we go unconscious and words seem to flow more or less automatically out of our mouths. 

We may come to our senses after a while, much depending on our level of maturity. But not before having given ourselves another reason not to trust ourselves. For what reason? Why do we do such things? The only honest answer is: “I don’t know”. As with many, if not most, of our behaviors, we may think up an explanation for them. But if we are being honest with ourselves, it is just that - something that we have thought up. 

The good news is that the more awareness we bring into the present moment, the easier it becomes to make different choices. The easier it becomes to catch ourselves before we think, act and speak in an unloving manner. The easier it becomes to choose love. And the more we choose love, the closer we get to our rebirth in the image of God. In Christ likeness. Which is the goal of every human, whether we recognize it or not.

Being okay with confusion

I'm a little scared of posting this text. Because I'm going to be personal about my spiritual life in a way that differs from previous blog posts. What do I want with this post? To give you a better idea of where I'm coming from and where the things that I talk about come from.

Something very strange is happening in the world. I’ve talked about this many times before. Is it the Ascension process? Or the End Times? A little bit of both? Something completely different?

Have you noticed that strange things are starting to happen in your life on a personal level as well? I know that I have. And I know that this is true for many other people. But contrary to most people, I’m not at all sure exactly what this is or what it means. I thought that I was. But I’m not at all anymore. And I’m not sure if this is a strength or weakness. Maybe a bit of both. I think that my biggest strength lies in God and Jesus. Because most people that are going through a spiritual awakening seem to have missed the personal relationship with God. Something that I know for a fact is at the very centre of everything that is happening right now. In all of the doubt and confusion that I’m going through, this is one thing that I don’t doubt for a second. The confirmations that I’ve received about this are overwhelming. 

Even though on a personal level, it has been proven to me, over and over again, that something is happening, on the planet, with me, my wife and many other people, I can still not help asking myself if it’s all just in my head. Of course we can take this one step further. Because if you think about it, it’s obvious that ultimately I can’t be sure that anything I’m experiencing is real. I only have access to what my senses tell me. At least when it comes to my interaction with the world. As a matter of fact, I cannot be sure that the world is anything like what I experience inside my head. I have to live as if this is true though, because life would be impossible to live otherwise. But I cannot know for sure. 

As things become stranger and stranger, both in the world and on a personal level, faith and doubt seem more and more inseparable. More and more indispensable. Because I need to hold on to the faith that this is real and that it’s leading somewhere. But I have to try and stay as clear and grounded as possible, as I’m facing a reality that by its very nature is overwhelming, frightening and confusing. 

Whatever else may be true, if I feel that God is communicating with me and my wife, I think that the best response to it is to treat it as real. If it was just a voice inside my head I should probably go seek medical assistance. But it’s nothing like that at all. I’m not going to get into any details about it. But it’s more like seeing the hand of God in the everyday events of my life. Life doesn’t just seem chaotic, random and devoid of meaning, as it used to. Life seems to speak to me, and to my wife, in different ways. So much so that it’s next to impossible to dismiss it as figments of our imagination. Especially since we’ve experienced many things together. 

I don’t know exactly what God wants with me. And from hereon out I’m going to talk about my experiences. If my wife wishes to talk about hers, she can do so in her own words. 

What I know for sure is that it has nothing to do with my character, accomplishments, goodness or good looks. Whatever God wants with me, he must have his reasons. But it surely has nothing to do with anything that I can take credit for. Even though a part of me definitely wants to. And I honestly don’t know if I could potentially mess up one time too many. In other words, if whatever I’m supposed to do could be passed on to someone else. Because I’ve messed up so many times since this whole thing started. Sometimes I feel that my past is just one big, messy fog of mistakes, bad behavior and self-deception.

At this point, I’ve lost a couple of friends. And there are probably quite a few people that think that I’ve lost my mind. Or that I’m balancing on the edge of insanity. Quite frankly, I’m asking myself whether I’m going crazy sometimes. Because I know that there is something that I’m supposed to communicate. Discussions that I’m supposed to have. Questions that I’m supposed to ask. People that I’m supposed to meet. But honestly, I feel rather confused. And nothing that I do ever seems to lead anywhere. And yet, when I’m close to completely losing hope, God calls on me in one way or another, telling me to hang on. 

If I could show you what I’ve experienced, you would understand why I, in one sense, am so sure about that I need to keep doing what I’m doing. Even if I don’t know what I’m doing myself sometimes. While I’m in another sense filled with so much doubt, in spite of all of what I’ve experienced. As I said, it doesn’t seem to lead anywhere. And I’m so confused about all of this and what it means. 

Die to live

Before we can simply let go and be reborn, there are so many things that we cling on to, that we have to let go of. We cling on to our social status, career, different pleasures, political opinions, aspirations and so on. These are some of the most common things that we cling to, but the list could be almost endless. 

A funny paradox in all of this, is that it seems like that in order for us to begin to let go, we first need to fully accept that these things are in our lives and not judge ourselves for it. It's not about being hard on ourselves or disliking ourselves, but about seeing what is there and being honest with what it does to us. Remember that we're all sinners.

While there is much in the world that we need to let go of if we want to live dignified lives, God created the world and saw that it was good. This does not change just because sin and corruption has entered the picture. So to just look at it as a garbage dump full of misery that we should strive to remove ourselves from, does not seem like a wise thing to do. I believe something like this: We need to learn to live in the world the way God intends for us to live in it and not in the way that our culture tells us to. To enjoy life and the pleasures of God’s creation in the way that God intended. To focus on what’s essential instead of getting caught up in what doesn’t really matter. Instead of getting caught up in trivialities. Ultimately, to learn to view life from a God-centered eternity-perspective. Because if we truly believe in God and that life will continue after death, to strive for this perspective ought to follow logically.

Jesus says: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). The Bible is full of verses about dying to self so that one can live. So that one can become renewed. There is an old self that has to die, so that another, more real self can live. If we follow this line of reasoning, there is a very simple conclusion, which is staring us right in the face when we read the Bible: There is a right and a wrong way when it comes to how we conduct ourselves in our day-to-day lives. There is a right and a wrong way when it comes to how we treat other people and ourselves. There is a right and a wrong way when it comes to how we eat, drink and conduct ourselves. I would even argue that there is a right and a wrong way when it comes to our posture, how we breathe and how we treat our attention. Do we pay attention consciously or do we let chance dictate what we pay attention to?

This last bit, about our attention, is important here. Because something happens when we pay conscious attention to something. If we for example pay attention to our breathing, it becomes more calm and natural all by itself, if we don’t try to do anything with it. There is also a warning implied here. Because attention matters gravely. Think about it. How much what you pay attention to dictates your life. Really think about it. And now think about our society, where there is constantly something ot someone that tries to grab our attention, as loudly as possible. Think about what such a society may do to us if we don’t consciously choose to take control of our attention. Give it some thought. What role does you attention play in your life? And are you consciously trying to control your attention?

We may have very different beliefs about what is going on in the world right now. About the crisises that we are facing. About their origins, severity, what is most dangerous, which people and what information we can trust. But no matter what, I believe that everyone, right in this moment, is called to a renewal in Christ. We may have different views when it comes to many theological issues. But when it comes to the basics of how to conduct ourselves in our day-to-day lives the Bible is very clear. And if we don’t take things out of their context, the truth of what the Bible teaches about this is easy to recognize. Even more so when it is applied. Jesus sets the example that we need to follow, no matter how many times we mess up when we try to do so. We should love, forgive, turn the other cheek, practice non-judgment, do everything with moderation, put our own lives under scrutiny instead of trying to find faults in other people, pray in earnest for our enemies, and so on. 

If we shift our focus a bit, we can in all likelihood find things in our lives that we can change, that do not take any real effort. Do we, for example, really have to take our political opinions so seriously, that we condemn others for having opinions that we find disagreeable? Do we have to speak ill of other people’s lifestyle choices for no good reason? When it might really be our culture, that encourages people to make unsound choices, that we need to criticize? The point is that we do so many things, that do not contribute to who we want to be without even thinking about it. Often without thinking about that we have a choice. 

It might be time to ask ourselves some tough questions: Do I want to become a person that lives up to what it means to be made in the image of God? Do I believe that this is something that I may want to prioritize? Put some time, energy and effort into? Or do I feel that I have other, more important, priorities in my life? If so, why? What is more important than God and to strive be and live the way God intended?

Let me emphasize that I’m not speaking from any high horses here. I don’t look at myself as a particularly good person. How I do see myself however, is as someone that has something to communicate. As someone who is in many ways weak, broken, full of shortcomings and moral failures. But also as someone that sincerely tries to become better. As someone who has been asked by God to do something, even though I don’t know exactly what. Only that it may have something to do with this very striving to become a better, more Christ-like person.

I see myself as someone who has done nothing to deserve this calling, but on the contrary has committed many unworthy acts. All the way from unnecessary and slightly harmful, to seriously shameful and destructive. The only thing that I’ve done to deserve this, is to say yes to the calling, no matter what it may entail. But I’ve also moaned and complained a lot about my everyday struggles. I've often had a hard time keeping up my trust in God. So I guess that I haven’t said yes completely to the whole package. But I at least think that I’m making some progress. That I’m beginning to accept more and more of my hardships as parts of my journey.

There seems to be no other way than to clean house completely, no matter how long it takes. We need to look not just at our habits, but the way we speak and what thoughts we fill our heads with. Yes, our whole personalities. And it cannot be just something that we decide on doing. We need to observe ourselves and consciously decide to break our behavioral patterns. Over and over again. Till we’re completely renewed. From inside out. Does it sound overwhelming? The good news is that it can be practiced all the time, whatever we are doing. And no one is expecting us to be perfect. It doesn’t matter how good or bad we are at this. It’s not that kind of game. Contrary to the games of the world, this is not a competition and what matters here is truly that we try our best. We’re not expected to reach or even hope for perfection. At least not in this life. But, also contrary to the games of the world, there is no way that we can cheat or fool anyone in this game. 

Love one another!

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength […] Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31). 

In these two commandments, Jesus summarizes his whole message. But how often do we really live by it?

What do we answer to questions such as the following: Am I really doing my best to practice non-judgment and forgiveness in all situations? In most? At least towards those closest to me? How do I view those that are different from me? That think differently from me? How do I view people that have the “wrong” opinions? If a brother came to me in sincere repentance and confessed his sins, would I be able to meet him/her in unconditional love no matter what he/she confessed? Would my capacity for unconditional love be affected by whether what he/she confessed affected me personally or not?

When I’m being honest with myself, I’m forced to admit that I’m often unable to follow even the most basic teachings of Jesus and the Bible. And yet I’m often off into all kinds of more or less advanced speculations about right and wrong. I try to figure out what logically must follow from this and that, while ignoring how much I lack when it comes to following that which is written in clear language. Not only written in clear language, but put at the centre of everything that the central figure of the Bible taught. Things that even a five year old can understand.

St. Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians, says: “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:1). 

In light of this quote from st. Paul, I often feel like nothing. I’ve felt the love I’m capable of. If I look back at those moments, when I’ve been overwhelmed by love not just for those around me, but for the whole of humanity, the world and life itself, I wasn’t aware of this at the time. But I believe that these have been moments when my ego has stepped aside to freely allow God to love through me. 

In my day to day life however, I often feel numb, disconnected and uncaring. This in a time when we need to love, care for and forgive one another more than ever. In a time when we need unity more than ever. I know that I can still choose to act in a loving manner, no matter how I feel. And in these colder moments, perhaps it’s the best that we can do. If it is, it has to be enough until we can do better. But when life runs on autopilot, which it often does, and negative emotions sneak up on us, it’s not always easy to remember to be our best. And more times than I would like to admit, I willingly act against against better judgment. Even though I, at the time, manage to convince myself that I’m not. 

Here I would like to interject, that the more I've processed the negative emotions that I've suppressed and allowed to fester inside my body, the more I've been able to let God's love shine through me. Suppressed emotions, I believe, is one of the main reasons why we feel numb and unloving.

Furthermore, there seems to be layers to this. It probably comes to no one’s surprise, that temptations are harder to resist some times than others. But there seems to be more to it. Sometimes the bile just starts flowing, seemingly by itself. Other times, we have a few seconds to stop ourselves, but for one reason or another, we don’t. We may provide more or less muddled justifications for our behavior. But the truth is that we often simply don’t want to stop ourselves. Our ego has been hurt and demands that the world listens to it when it expresses just how hurt it feels, how it wants others to pay for the hurt and how it expects to be compensated. Or that someone else has done or not done something that disqualifies them as good people. 

If what characterizes Christians is their love for their fellow people, we fall short of this ideal way too often. I fall short of this ideal way too often. I have learned to say no to the really low emotions, such as hate and contempt. If a contemptuous thought creeps into my mind, I usually catch it and refuse to engage with it. But I feel unjustified anger way too often. Anger that is not about some injustice out in the world, but one that stems from my pride having been wounded or something equally ridiculous. 

As you can see, I have a long way to go. But that has to be okay. We all have our baggage. Little habits of thought, speech and action. And if I look at where I was just a couple of years ago, I’ve made a lot of progress. I’m not really such a self-righteous jerk anymore. My baggage is not as heavy anymore. I know that it’s time to put my life completely in God’s hands, no matter what. I know that I owe my whole life to God. Discernment is something that I pray for often. I do my best to understand God’s will. Even if I often fool myself. I want to be able to notice when I speak, act and think in a loveless manner. When I judge and condemn. To bring the light of awareness into the dark corners of my life. And I humbly as God to remove the burden of lovelessness from my shoulders.

The radical love message of Jesus has always been important. But as I said before, I believe that it’s more important than ever today. Because the world is growing colder and darker. It’s easier than ever to get swept away by its ways. What is instead needed, is to stand strong in our faith and make a conscious effort to burn brighter.

In the times ahead we will need each other more than ever. In a few years, we are going to need to come together more than just when we meet at church on Sundays or through the regular church activities. Therefore we need to work actively to strengthen our love for one another. To build up love within ourselves. It’s not always easy. Many of us have, unconsciously, grown cold and numb for many years. If so, it’s time to awaken!

We need each other’s support, care, unconditional love and help through tough situations. Each other’s forgiveness and understanding. And we need to be able to both count on receiving and be able to give this.

Breaking free from the PRISON of COMFORT

We were never meant to live like this. What has happened to us? Life should not consist of relaxation, comfort, pleasure, consumption and safety. Maybe when God said to Adam: “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground” (Genesis 3:19) it was not just meant just as a burden laid upon our shoulders. Maybe in a fallen world it’s not desirable to live any other way. Maybe life loses its meaning when we don’t have to work hard for anything anymore.

Let me ask you this: Do people that make safety and comfort their primary goals seem happy? I don’t have any statistics to back this up, but I’m pretty sure that there is a correlation between the use of anti-depressants and people’s level of comfort. I’m pretty sure that there is a correlation between depression and how many hours are spent on the sofa eating junk food. 

The world makes it easier than ever to be lazy, comfortable and engage in instant gratification. Today we have access to every item of convenience imaginable. We have endless access to entertainment and other distractions, fast food so we don’t have to cook, anti-depressants and sedatives so we don’t have to deal with our emotional problems, cars so we don’t have to walk, medications so we don’t have to take care of our bodies and wellfare so we don’t have to work. And since it becomes harder and harder to find work, while inflation eats up more and more of our salaries, there is less and less incentive to work. 

To top it all off, we can gratify every low desire imaginable like never before. At the store, in front of the computer, on our streaming services and on our smartphones. Shameful consumption that twenty years ago required an effort and to actually look another person in the eyes when we paid for it, can today be done entirely in secret. 

Until a few years ago I didn’t see these things as clearly as I do now. So I have my own demons to fight when it comes to the sad state that we’ve slowly been conditioned into. But I have let go of much since I started to see the troubled state of the world with clear eyes. And when I saw it, I knew that I had no choice. I can hide most things from other people. I can even fool myself that this is enough. But deep inside I know that it isn’t. My choices and actions will mercilessly shape who I am. I can never truly hide my behavior from myself. And I can certainly not hide it from God, who sees everything, knows every single thought that passes through my head and knows me infinitely better than I know myself. 

I’m not free from sloth and gluttony. But I refuse to give in to them and let them rule my life. I engage in overeating from time to time. Now and then I skip going to the gym. And I know that I cannot always trust myself to do the things that I’ve set out to do. Life often feels like an uphill battle. But whatever comes out of my struggles in the end, even if it’s nothing at all, it’s still better than resignation. 

Luckily we’re not alone in this. Just as God has a will for us and cares about our actions, he also understands us. Understands what we’re going through. Understands the world that we are living in. Walks with us in our struggles. Forgives our missteps and failures. 

This does not imply taking the position of infants, where we just assume that God will do everything for us, with no effort on our part. God does expect that we try our best. That we don’t just let go and give in. That we don’t start making excuses. And it’s so easy to start making excuses. I know. Because I’ve struggled with many sins throughout my life. And these struggles have entailed loads of excuses for letting go and giving in. Loads of justifications for why sin isn’t really sin, even though I know in my heart that it is. Justifications for instant gratification so that I don’t have to deal with the suffering and frustration that resisting desire often causes. Justifications that often sound insane when I look back at them. 

It’s easier than ever to just let ourselves go. At the same time, it’s harder and harder to make a different choice. If we want to feel powerful, free and alive the world will work against us. We will often have a baggage from having lived an unconscious life. Bad habits and debts to pay off are examples from my and my wife’s life. And if we want to build a business to stand on our own, regulations and tax burdens make things harder than ever. Regulations and tax burdens that big corporations easily can pay their way out of.

And temptations are everywhere. Which in itself is another challenge. Because it takes time and energy to resist them. It would be so easy to just let go, stop caring and let the government take care of us. Unhealthy food is the cheapest food, so we could easily stick to that, let our bodies decay, get comfortable and numb. Entertainment and distractions are cheap and often free. We only need a trip to the doctor and the pharmacy to escape our emotions. 

I know that I want to get out of this invisible prison that I unknowingly have allowed myself to get trapped in. To me it’s not even a choice. I’d rather live a life of struggle, frustration and disappointment every single day and die disappointed and struggling, than giving in to a meaningless life of comfort, pleasure and instant gratification. Because to me, this type of life isn’t living at all. This type of life is the equivalent of being a walking dead. You don’t live. You just exist.

When I look at what our culture tries to turn us into, I see disconnection from ourselves and disconnection from others. I see numbness. This is not what I want for me or anyone else. I want to feel alive and free even if it’s painful and frustrating. And I’m willing to endure anything to escape our invisible prison. I want to be fully human, the way God intended me to be. And I refuse to become the willless animal that the world wants to turn me into. 

Free will is one of God’s most precious and vital gifts. Let’s not waste it.

To my brothers and sisters in the NEW AGE (and everyone else)

Truth matters! More and more so in the extraordinary times that we are living in. And what lenses you view the world through matter gravely. Because these lenses shape how you see the world, what you think about it and how you act in it. So you have to be careful what you allow into your mind. And what you allow to control your mind. 

Before we continue I want to ask a couple of things of you: Forget everything that you think that you know about Christianity and the Bible. Embrace the possibility that within Christianity there is room for more love, joy, vibrant bliss and ecstasy than you could possibly imagine or find anywhere else. That when Jesus said: “the truth shall set you free” he really meant this. Which implies that if we view the Bible as a boring rulebook that hinders us from doing what we really want to do, we have misunderstood it. Because yes, the Bible asks things of us, which other teachings don’t. It asks us to do some things and give up others. But it doesn’t ask anything of us that isn’t for our own good.

If we wish to bring some more clarity into what may be called “spiritual confusion”, we need to start by asking ourselves the right questions: “Does this really lead me where it promises to lead me?”, “How does this actually benefit me and those around me?”, “Where is this leading me?”, “How is it truly affecting me?”, “Does it lead to more clarity or more confusion?”, “What is the purpose of this particular practice that I’m engaged in?” and “Does it truly fulfill that purpose?”. Another question that also most definitely is important is: “Does this truly make me happy?”

I’m not pretending to know what your answers are to these questions. I only know what mine are, which I hope will become clear throughout this text.

One thing that I do know for a fact however, is that regardless of prior beliefs, God is not just some abstract creative force. God is deeply personal, has a will and communicates with us in different ways all the time. And this is a good thing, because this means that we have perfect guidance to rely on. That we’re not left to our own faulty reason when it comes to figuring our how to think, speak and act. Because even if we need to use our reason to the best of our ability, on our own we will inevitably be led astray. There are so many forces, both within ourselves and in the world that confuse and deceive us.

That God is personal, has a will and communicates with us I know as absolute truth. This I know from personal experience. I’m not asking you to take my word for it. What I’m asking is to try this way of viewing God out for yourself, pray about it, meditate on it and use it as the lense through which you view the world. Take it seriously and see where it leads you. For me, it also finally led me to Jesus and the Holy Spirit. These are now real to me. Not just abstract figures that I can read about in the Bible. And my relationship with them is growing every day.

Now comes the part where I might really lose you. Therefore I feel the need to explain what I’m saying before I say it. I believe that there is a reason behind why mainly Christians and New Agers are waking up to the state of the world. Because of this and other reasons, I’m not prepared to dismiss everything within the New Age, even though I firmly believe in the truth of the Bible.

Now, there is an awakening happening on the planet. One that is spiritual in nature. And I don’t think that anyone knows exactly what this awakening is. More and more people are awakening every day. We are awakening to the true state of the world and what powers are truly governing it. What powers are governing us. We are awakening to more and more spiritual aspects of our physical reality. And we are awakening to more and more aspects of what is going on inside ourselves. For many of us, this has become a lived, undeniable reality.

Furthermore, I firmly believe that everything that is true about this awakening is 100% biblical. This means that everything about it that is true must be compatible with the Bible. And everything that we ever need should fit into this framework. The only things that we need to discard, are empty things that don’t benefit us anyway. Things that just cause us pain and confusion. Again I urge you to ask yourself the right questions. Because it’s so easy to get lost in what sounds good on the surface, but does not keep its promises. And at least for me and my wife, it has been difficult to admit to ourselves that what we have invested much time and energy into, has not lead us where it promised. Where we hoped that it would lead us.

What exactly this means I have yet to figure out. Some people say that you should stay away from any spirituality that is not from the Bible or about the Bible. While I respect these beliefs and do not wish to dismiss them, I don’t feel that I, in good conscience, can accept them without thorough examination. 

For example, I find nothing in the Bible that contradicts the idea that we need to cultivate a non-reactive mindset. When we learn to just feel the emotions that come up in different situation without reacting to them, we can begin to allow the emotions to guide our actions instead of controlling them. Just like we should often not act on the first thought that pops into our minds either. If we learn this, I believe that it will make us better Christians. We may even clear the path for the Holy Spirit to act through us.

I also know for a fact that suppressed emotional energy gets stored in the body as tensions, which authors that often get grouped within the New Age, such as David Hawkins, have pointed out. 

And here we come to the crux of the matter. There is so much dead weight in the New Age. And what I believe is that the Bible will help us to understand what we need to shed and what can be kept. Here I find two questions helpful: “Does this have any demonstrable practical use?” and “Is it compatible with Biblical teachings?”

I have just shown two examples of what I believe can be useful. Now I’m going to give you an example of what I believe should not just be discarded, but shun like the plague: I believe you should stay far away from channelers. For those that don’t know, channeling is when someone allows their body to be taken over by a spiritual entity so that it can communicate through them. 

The Bible is full of warnings concerning this type of activity. This is simply because we don’t know what these channeled entities are. And as far as I’m concerned the channelings that I’ve read about or listened to have not given me anything of practical value. It has mostly been either gibberish or ideas about the world that can neither be confirmed nor falsified. I believe that if these channeled entities really are higher beings, that are here to help us, they should be able to tell us things that are useful and not just feed us claims about how the world works. Claims that, again, cannot be confirmed or falsified. 

Besides, the Bible clearly says that after Jesus left his earthly life, God sent us his Holy Spirit. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit is with us all the time and that it has the same power to help and guide us as Jesus. So why would you need to turn to other spirits for help?

In other words, my experience tell me that, with regards to channeling, the answer is “no” to both of the questions that I just posed.

I would furthermore advice anyone wishing to study authors labelled New Age to approach them with caution. It’s so easy to buy into a whole package when we see that it contains some truth and wisdom. Me and my wife have both been led astray by teachings within the New Age that we now can see are not sound. 

In other words, I don’t believe that everything about the New Age is evil or satanic. But I do believe that most of it leads us astray. And I do believe that some of it would qualify as Satanic. At least when taken together. 

I believe that just like we can check what is sound against the teachings of the Bible, we can actually check what is unsound against the teachings of the Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor Lavey. I believe that Lavey, in very clear language, has laid out satanic doctrine in exact detail, while promoting it as a common sense philosophy. 

The idea that we are our own gods is the first satanic idea that comes to mind. Another one is that everything is relative. That there are no absolute truths. Together with this one comes also the trivialization of everything. That nothing is really serious and that we are mainly here to have fun and explore. And yeah, the idea mentioned in the beginning, of God as just an impersonal force, can actually also be found in the Satanic Bible. What I’ve noticed is that when we have no absolute truths to rely on, our perception of reality becomes distorted. When we take nothing seriously, we end up excusing all kinds of behavior by saying that “ultimately it doesn’t matter anyway”. And when we view God as just an impersonal force, we miss the whole point of religion and spirituality.

To conclude: Mine and my wife’s experience with New Age can be summed up as follows. We did find some usefulness in some authors often classified as New Age. The aforementioned David R. Hawkins is one of them. Two others that come to mind are Eckhart Tolle and Joe Dispenza. But for the most part, it sent us on a wild goose chase. We ended up seeking more and more knowledge, self-development and abilities, while in reality getting nowhere. We found that much within it that promises healing, power and knowledge actually breaks us, disempowers us and causes more and more confusion.

When we finally decided to embrace the message of the Bible and discard everything that was incompatible with it, we invited peace and healing into our lives. While that which on the surface seemed reasonable within the New Age didn’t hold up when tested against reality, the opposite proved to be true when it came to the Bible. What on the surface seemed unreasonable in the Bible, proved true when tested against reality. And the more we studied the Bible, the more we started to see the infinite depth that it contains. This while other teachings more and more revealed the shallowness behind their often many words. Which for us at least shows the truth in the saying of st. Paul, that “…the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God” (1 Corinthians 3:19).

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You are loved and your life matters!

Your life is not a brief series of random, meaningless events before absolute oblivion. Your life means something. It is not meant to be squandered on pontless distractions and pleasures. No matter where you are or who you are, you are important. You are important to God and you are important to the world. Your choices and actions matter. 

In the past, we may have had to take up real swords to fight living, physical enemies. But today the sword is proverbial. And the war is against meaningless amusements, empty pleasures, addictions and corrupt values. 

You may think that I’m exaggerating here, but I’m not. Because this is a battle for our bodies and minds. And these things kill our spirits. 

To top it all off we did not get to where we are by accident. To a place where we’re surrounded by tools for self-destruction every minute of every hour of every day. This is by design.

No one is going to praise us for taking up this fight. But praise is not the reason why we do what we do. The point is not to be recognized as such or not by others. But those of us that refuse to just mindlessly go along with whatever degeneration our culture offers are heroes. Because it takes strength to go up against all that is preying on our lower natures. It takes courage to go against the cultural norms. And it takes determination to stick to our resolutions.

Best of all is that in this story everyone can be a hero. It doesn’t matter who you are when or where your particular journey ends. All that matters is that you start the journey and keep on walking. God will take care of the rest. And he has the rest of eternity to make you perfect. 

I know that it’s so easy to give in. But whatever you put on the table God and his Holy Spirit can work with that. This is not some airy fairy “is this real or just in my imagination”. You will have real spiritual powers coming to your aid. If you’ve sunk deep in the habit of being distracted you may not notice it at first. But they are there to help you. Eventually things will start to fall into place. Eventually life will not feel so random anymore.

I’m not sitting on some high horse talking down to you from a place of perfection and enlightenment. Just like many other people I’ve made a mess of a lot of things in my life. A mess of bad habits and financial troubles. A mess that I’m still stuck cleaning up. 

The world makes it easy for us to mess up. But this does not take away my, or anyone else’s personal responsibility. No one put a gun to our heads and forced us to mess up our lives. However, as I’ve already stated, I believe that there are people (and perhaps other forces) that want us to be bound to our messes because it benefits them. When the scales fall from our eyes, we will inevitably see all of the things that are there to enslave us. And to me at least, it is obvious that we didn’t get here by accident. 

But it is still our lack of consciousness that allows it to happen. We are still the ones allowing circumstances and our reactions to them to make the choices for us. Our controllers just provide the temptations. We are the ones that are careless with our thoughts, words and actions. They just prey on our carelessness. We are the ones that don’t keep God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit firmly in our minds. Those that want to hurt us just fill up the empty space.

Our past mistakes don’t have to be a waste. It is a cliché to talk about learning from our mistakes. But as with basically all clichés, it contains a lot of wisdom. Because how often don’t we just beat ourselves up for our mistakes without learning anything from them? But when we instead take a step back and try to figure out what went wrong, growth can come pretty fast.

And remember, when you decide to take your power back and say no you have unstoppable powers on your side. God, his son Jesus Christ and his Holy Spirit are there to help you. The almighty, triune, all-loving creator of the universe is on your side. These are not just empty words. It is the truth. You just have to let them in.

Those that want to hurt us tell us that life has no meaning. That we are a problem and even a cancer on the planet. That the world is full of useless people. Such ideas are the real cancer. 

The lack of meaning is one of the major sources of the difficulties that many of us face. The lack of meaning causes many to just grasp for whatever little momentary pleasure that they can get their hands on, with no concern for the future. This is why ideas matter. Why world views matter. They shape our thoughts, words and action. These nihilistic, misanthropic ideas turn “cancer on the planet” into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because what is the point of trying if we’re just destined for oblivion in a meaningless world? A world that is just getting worse and worse, with no real real hope on the horizon. Where the best we can hope for is painful solutions that may or may not solve our problems. In such a world it would be very tempting to say: “Let’s just party till the lights go out.” 

This is not my vision. It is not God’s vision either. So do your best, work with what you’ve got and never lose your hope. An infinitely better future is on the horizon. One where no one is superfluous or useless. One where everyone, regardless of who they are, matter. 

You are loved, deeply cared for and your life matters!

Frame photo by Susan Wilkinson on Unsplash