Visar inlägg med etikett spiritual psychology. Visa alla inlägg
Visar inlägg med etikett spiritual psychology. Visa alla inlägg

tisdag 1 november 2022

Behavioral patterns, worldviews and faith

Our world today is insanity on steroids. And most of us are more or less guilty of allowing for it to be this way. In this instance, guilt does not imply intent. In this case it is often the opposite of intent. 

One well known that quote about insanity is that it’s “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. Now we do the same things that have been proven to make things worse. And we do them more and faster, over and over again. We do them more and faster while somehow expecting thing to get better. Until we lose hope completely and just keep doing things out of habit while we wait for death.


The good news is that there is a rather clear way out of this mess. Our lives, both on an individual and collective level, are the sum total of the circumstances we are born into, plus our thoughts, feelings, words, beliefs and actions. And all of these things go together. 


Sure, things happen that we have no control over whatsoever, which are devastating beyond repair. But these things are a very small minority. For the most part, when tragedy strikes, it could either have been avoided all together, or we could be in a position where we could cope with it enough to get by,


So if life isn’t what we want it to be, this is where we have to look. At our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Today I’m going to focus on our beliefs. Because this is where it starts. Our beliefs are the lense that we view reality through and depending on what we believe, it will have a tremendous effect on our lives.


We can take a very prevalent belief in today’s society. If we believe that life ultimately is pointless, devoid of higher meaning, this will be reflected in what we think, feel, do and say. If you think that life isn’t worth taking seriously anyway, you might as well stay an infant till the day you die and waste your life on fastfood and mindless entertainment. 


This was where I was heading in my late teens and early twenties. I remember quite clearly when this destructive philosophy started to get hold of my mind. When I was seventeen I read The Satanic Bible by Anton Lavey. For those that don’t know, on the surface it’s ego-affirming atheism, even though I today believe that there is something more sinister behind its content. 


I was an atheist and the idea that there are no such things as right and wrong or higher meanings appealed to me. I found it to be the logical conclusion of the belief that we seize to exist completely when we die. If this would be the conditions that we all live under, I still can’t see how it could be any different. Luckily I know better today.


If you want to know how much beliefs affect us, this whole single worldview shaped how I dressed, the music I listened to, what friends I hung out with and what activities I chose to engage in. And all of these things reinforced each other. And my choices twenty years ago still have an impact on my life today. Because even when you find abundant proof that God exists, that life doesn’t end with death and you therefore want to turn your life around, it’s not that easy. I’m glad that I didn’t form any addictions, except maybe occasional overeating. But I have an overwhelming load of habitual ways of thinking and acting that are not easy to let go of. 


Have you ever noticed what happens when you try to act against an ingrained pattern? Anxiety will rise up inside. You will feel a tremendous pull to stay where you are and act like you’ve always acted. And this is if you’re lucky enough to realize that you are acting out a pattern that you wish to change. Many times you will just unconsciously assume that “this is how reality is and this is the only possible response to it.” 


What I’ve found, which is something that I talk about a lot on this blog, is that we are not in control of our lives. Not left to ourselves and our own reason. Our thoughts may fool us that we are making rational decision, while in reality we are not.


This line of thought is what I will expand on in the next blog post.



Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

lördag 22 oktober 2022

Perception, God and the Bible

We need to take back the control of our minds! In this blog post I will explore the conditions that we live under from my perspective as a Christian and believer in God. But I will try to do so in a manner that will offer some food for thought for anyone, regardless of prior beliefs. And I ask of you that you try and relate what I'm saying here to your own life and experience. Because it's so easy that we turn what we read into just empty word. Especially in these days, when so much is trying to catch our attention.

I believe that the truth is to be found in the Bible. I also believe in progressive revelation. This means that I don’t believe that the whole truth has been revealed to us yet. I believe that the truth of the Bible expands as we learn more about the world and the particular time that we are living in. And I believe that some of our current well-established interpretations need to be discarded, in favor of others that are more plausible.


We live in a world where everyone is trying to get our attention. But few seem to care about us as people. Some do. But when it comes to those that don’t, they at best want to use us to further an agenda that they truly consider noble. At worst, they want to ruthlessly exploit us purely for their own gain. To make it worse, what can be a noble agenda for one person, can be ruthless exploitation for another. It all depends on the person’s character and actual knowledge about the issue at hand.


Here is a little part of my experience: The more I learn about the world, myself and my being in the world, the more confusing I find everything. I bet many of you feel the same way. We don’t know who we can trust anymore. If we’ve started to understand just a little bit of what is really going on in the world, we know that we most definitely cannot trust politicians. Neither can we trust the mainstream media, nor public figures. And those that oppose the world views that are pushed by journalists and politicians for the most part don’t seem trustworthy either. 


To me, there is only one way out of this mess. Please tell me if you’ve found another. 


To you that don’t believe: I’m not asking you to believe without evidence. I’m only asking you to start paying more attention to your experience and being open to whatever you may find when you do so.


To me, God is not just something that I choose to believe in. To me, the existence of God is absolutely undeniable. It’s my lived reality. But since this knowing comes from personal experience, I cannot prove to anyone that I’m telling the truth. I do, however, believe that this is something that everyone can find out for themselves. That they can find this out by just opening up to the possibility that God might exist and want a personal relationship with us. By hoping that me and all those other countless people throughout history, that believe or have believed, are not just delusional. In this hopeless world, what have you got to lose? 


Something I do believe wholeheartedly, is that it’s more reasonable to believe that reality is more than what we can perceive with our five senses, than to believe that this is all reality is. If you look at history, it’s abundantly clear that we’ve never been able to trust what our senses seem to tell us about the world. Why would things be different today?


This is not an argument for the existence of God per se. Just an argument against the idea that matter is all there is. Ultimately, as I said in the beginning, our relationship with our creator is personal. It’s not about reason or rational arguments. 


With that being said, we can understand the conditions that we live under and thus gain more clarity. And I believe that, even though we ultimately can always put our trust in God, this is just what many of us have to do. Because there is a battle for our minds happening right now.


One fundamental condition that we live under, which is relevant for the discussion that is to follow is this: We only have access to the contents of our own minds. This is self-evident. And yet, many of us don’t reflect much upon what this means. When I started thinking about this, it changed my whole view of the world and how I relate to it. 


All I have access to, is my subjective experience. I cannot even know for sure that what I’m experiencing has any relation to what is going on outside of myself. I of course have to assume this to function in the world and not go crazy. And since I can communicate with others, they can confirm or disconfirm my experience. But I cannot know whether their experience is correct. Neither can I know that other people are telling me the truth about their experience. And to complicate things further, I cannot know that we mean the same things, with the words they use to describe their experience. For the most part, I can know the opposite: that words mean different things to different people.


Yet, truth seems to matter. A lot! We don’t like when people lie or deceive us. We also have emotions attached to many of our beliefs. When we do, we get uncomfortable when someone challenges our beliefs. If we have strong emotions attached to them we might get angry. Especially if we think that we have the arguments firmly on our side.


Let me give you an example of how our perception can become distorted:


Lately I’ve been thinking about when I studied psychology at the university. One subject was: “men that are abusive to their partners”. This was framed as men’s will to dominate women. Because this is what these men said in the interviews. We were given the image of a man that calculating used force to dominate their partner. But what if this is incorrect? These studies said nothing about who these individual men were. What if at least many of these men felt helpless in most areas of life, but tried to dominate the few areas where they could feel powerful? It doesn’t make it any more okay, but it sheds a totally different light on the problem. The problem is no longer dominant men that use force to subjugate women. It instead becomes broken, disempowered men that try to grab on to what little power they can in their lives, in the most dysfunctional, destructive way possible. I would never say that this is always the case. There are of course thoroughly cruel people, that use violence in a cold, calculated way. But what if these are the minority cases?


In other words: We have an event. We have the perpetrator that describes the event. He tells us how he sees what happened. Then we have the researcher that tries to understand what the perpetrator is communicating. The researcher then puts it down in his or her own words. And then we have these findings reproduced by other academics, that include them in their own papers or course literature. Then we finally have classes taught on the subject and students assimilating the information. We have now moved very far away from the actual situations and the people involved in them.


Now comes the interesting and quite frightening part. And the whole reason for this lengthy example: Our identities shape our perception of reality. If I assign a certain label to myself, such as “feminist”, “anti-feminist”, “alt-right”, “ or “anti-racist”, this label will become part of how I interpret and thus describe reality. None of us are immune to this. Labels come with an emotional charge. And while emotions are an important way of understanding reality, if we aren’t conscious of how they shape our thinking, they will inevitably distort our perception. So if someone, in this case a researcher, views information through a distorted filter, he/she will interpret the information in a way that conforms to his/her worldview. Unless he/she can be objective enough to override said worldview.


Our distorted perception works something like this: I will embrace certain information. Then reinforce it in my mind. I do this by thinking about it and what it means. And by discarding other information. I can look for valid ways of dismissing information that I don’t like. Or I can discard it completely without thinking. Or I can distort it so that I can dismiss it. This last way is called a straw man and is called so because a figure of straw is easy to knock down. We often have no problem seeing this way of reasoning in others. But it’s much harder to spot it in ourselves.


In short, we look for information that supports our beliefs. And not only that. We also interpret the information in a way that suppors said beliefs and describe it to others in a way that supports our beliefs. But to us, we are only stating facts.


This is also just one side of it. Now we add streaming services, social media and algorithms to the mix. It is today common knowledge that the algorithms of the biggest streaming services and social media, suggest media based on prior consumption. This means that if you are looking into information that is more right wing, you will see more and more information and perspectives related to this. And the same goes for the left. This has today created two very distinct camps that fiercely oppose each other, even if they in many ways share the same problems and concerns.


This is of grave concern, since this creates more and more animosity between ordinary people. This is by design, since those that truly prey on us want us to fight each other instead of seeing what is really going on. We could wake up from this nightmare and start opposing our captors. Instead we perpetuate the nightmare by hating our neighbor for not sharing our beliefs and hating ourselves for not living up to impossible standards. And since we’re told that religion is the root of all evil, we learn to hate religion as well. This in spite of the fact that godlessness and the sense of meaninglessness that it produces, is arguably the root cause of much of the degeneration of our culture. 


While we’re at the subject of those that govern us in the overall framework of perception: The actions of those that govern us don’t seem to make much sense. At least when looked at from the perspective of them representing those that voted them into office. On the other hand, if you start looking at the function of government from a different perspective it start start to make sense. This perspective would be: increasing control and surveillance, and transferring money from the masses into the hands of a wealthy few so that these wealthy few can increase their power.


All of this amounts, in my view undeniably, to something dark on the horizon. Something that is planned and by design. Something that is hidden in plain sight. Something that, once seen, cannot be unseen. 


In the storm that is coming, I put my trust in God. Because I know that God exists. And I have to believe and trust that God is who he says he is in the Bible. That he knows and wants what’s best for us. I cannot se where else there is hope to be found. 


Ever since I came to believe in God seventeen years ago I’ve immersed myself in religion and spirituality. Since then, I’ve only found more reasons to believe. And even though I’ve found plenty of reasons to doubt what I’ve believed, or change my beliefs, I’ve never found reason to doubt my core faith in a good, almighty creator. 


Throughout this time, I’ve not always been a Christian. It’s a faith that I’ve been growing into over the years with a lot of going back and forth, until finally something clicked. Something that began seventeen yeas ago, but came to fruition about six months ago. It can be summed up as an ever growing, inner knowing, followed by a sense of peace and joy, that grows with the knowing.


I believe that we can only take back our sovereignty with the help of God. By reconnecting with our creator. My belief in God and all that it entails is what colors my whole perception of reality. This is the lense that I choose to view the world, myself, other people and my relation to the world and other people through. 


The best way of understanding God and his will I have found in the Bible. I choose this lense because I believe it to be absolutely true. I believe the Bible to be the word of God, handed down through ordinary humans. Ordinary humans that were not called primarily because of their moral virtues. For some of them this was part of the reason. But many of them were great sinners. I think that part of the reason why they were chosen, was because God knew that they, sometimes reluctantly, would say yes and then do what needed to be done.


To me, since our reason is so fallible, I think that the question of whether a worldview seems to lead us where we want to go is very relevant. That this question should be taken seriously when we search for the truth. 


On this point, the Bible has never failed me, while all other teachings that I have chosen to guide me have done so. What the Bible says may at first seem counterintuitive. But it has always provided me with an accurate analysis of the world and the human condition. This analysis has helped me to break free from much of the unconscious programming of my mind. That which the world has instilled in me without me knowing it. Without me having made any conscious choices about it. 


The Bible has corrected many of my distorted perceptions. Thus it has helped me to gain clarity in areas such as career, family, dreams, goals, entertainment, sex and social relations. Areas where what has seemed reasonable from a human and our culture’s perspective, has proved to break down my psyche and spirit.


In this darkness that we are now facing, I believe that Jesus is the only truly valid guiding light. The ideal that we should strive for, no matter who we are, what we’ve done or what the world tells us. In my going back and forth, Christianity has never failed me. And I’ve always been led astray when I’ve deviated from it. So the Bible and the person and message of Jesus is where I’m going to put my trust to guide me through the chaos, which is soon to unfold.


But I’m not looking to convince you of anything, even if it might seem that way. What I want you to do, is find out the truth for yourself. And when doing so, it could be good to keep in mind, that ultimately everything is personal experience, i.e. subjective perception. Subjective perception of an objective reality.

lördag 20 augusti 2022

Being out of touch with our emotions - a male perspective PART 2

To PART 1

I want to start this post with something that I’ve realized over the past few years: No suppressed emotion goes away. The emotional energy gets stored in the body. And it often comes out as another emotion instead. And sometimes the emotions get buried so deep, that they are not consciously experienced at all. I believe this to be the case with for example really violent and dangerous people. They may be the ones that carry around the most fear, but have completely lost touch with it. I myself have never been violent. But I have carried around a lot of fear that I earlier in my life tried to hide behind a tough exterior. I of course did not know that this was what I was doing at the time. But I most certainly was. And since I’ve suppressed a lot, probably more than most people, I’ve also had a lot to release. And even though I’ve worked a lot with this, I still have a long way to go.

I’m obviously not the first man in history that has taken my emotional life as a man seriously. For example the writer Robert Bly has written about it. Professor, writer and psychologist Jordan Peterson certainly takes emotions seriously. And probably every male artist that has ever produced something of value, must have been at least somewhat in touch with his emotional life, even if it often has been in a chaotic, neurotic way, such as the emotional lives of men like August Strindberg, Vincent van Gogh or why not any of the beatnicks. 


Think for a second how crippling it is for a man to live with this emotional deficiency that our culture has instilled in us from generation to generation. To be, to different degrees, depending on the individual, cut off from such a vital part of what it means to be human. Another reason among many to be skeptical about culture, huh? We grow up taking so many things for granted. And when these things are questioned, the proposed solutions are often even worse than that which has been put into question. To put it bluntly, I don’t like the feminist, politically correct approach to the problem of male emotional deficiency one bit. I don’t want to become more like a woman in order to get more in touch with my emotions. I want to be a man that fully feels. Just like I believe that women need to become more empowered while embracing their femininity and not by becoming more like men. 


Things are not always as they seem on the surface. There is a divine order to things. Whether we recognize it or not. And if we mess with this order we suffer for it. I will go more into detail about this in the next post. But for now I will just say that human beings cannot be treated as blank slate which we can imprint whatever we want on, in order to reach a desired goal. Not without creating emotional dysfunctions, that are at their core spiritual. Dysfunctions that will most definitely lead to dysfunctions on a social level, both in the interactions between individuals and in the collective. 


I’m hardly the only one that is tired of how ideas of how we are supposed to be, seem to always be pushed upon us from above through some sort of ideology. How it sneaks up on us through the mass-media and the movies and music that we consume. I want to be fully human on my own terms and not be brainwashed into some image of what a contemporary man or woman should be like. I want to embrace the nature that God put into me, and not the twisted ways of the world. What we had a hundred years ago was definitely not healthy. But can you really say that what we have today is an improvement of that?


In many ways, I think that healthy emotional expression has to do with appropriateness. This is because another answer that cannot be it, is to just let the emotions go and allow them to be expressed in any way they want, whenever they come up. We don’t become emotionally mature by just letting our emotions run rampant. What is the alternative? Well, here are some ideas that I’ve come across so far. As in many cases we come back to mindfulness and to train ourselves into a non-reactive mindset. To push down our emotions and not express them at all is a bad idea. But we can train ourselves to not express them in a reactive manner. In other words to not express them in the first way that comes up. Instead we can take a step back and first try to understand what it is that we are actually feeling. Which is not always self-evident. And then we can consciously think of a way of expressing the emotion.


And now it’s time to share something that I felt very reluctant about. But I don’t want to go around pretending that I’m perfect, even though my ego would love for me to do so. But the real me wants to look at all aspects of my life and see what can be learned from them. The real me doesn’t care about perfection. Only about truth, knowledge and understanding.


So here we go: As I said in the beginning, I’ve never been a violent person. But I do have some minor anger issues, that have made me shout and punch walls in the past. I have become better with this lately though and it was quite a while since I did this. But I still have to be vigilant with myself when something happens that knocks me off balance. 


These types of reactions have always been followed by feelings of shame and hopelessness because I hate the feeling of not being in control of myself. And I especially hate the feeling of losing control when someone else sees it. I’m trying to look at it as just a pattern that I’ve unconsciously practiced since I was a child, but which can be unlearned with the right tools. 


Then, in my youth, I often learned to suppress my anger. So I never learned to deal with anger in a healthy way. And on top of that, I’ve learned that other negative emotions can be transformed into anger as well, when they are suppressed. I’ve found mainly grief and fear hiding behind my anger. It is also often tied to a sense of lack of control, which in turn is linked to really low emotions, such as helplessness, regret, shame and hopelessness. 


This is not what my soul is like. It is how my soul’s vehicle functions because I’ve never learned how to operate it properly. It’s not as if our bodies and brains come with an instruction manual and our education system is next to useless when it comes to such crucial learning. But I’ve learned tons of stuff that I will never have any use for instead…


Something that I came to think of with regards to this, is that when I took a couple of courses in psychology at the university, we learned that domestic abusers were motivated by a drive to dominate. This was framed as men’s will to dominate women. But what if this is incorrect. What if at least many of these men feel helpless in most areas of life, but try to dominate the few areas where they can feel powerful? It doesn’t make it any more okay, but it sheds a totally different light on the problem. The problem is no longer dominant men that use force to subjugate women. It instead becomes broken, disempowered men that try to grab on to what little power they can in their lives, in the most dysfunctional, destructive way possible. I would never say that this is always the case. There are of course throughly cruel people, that use violence in a cold, calculated way. But what if these are the minority cases? 


I think that there is a case to be made for changing gender norms for both men and women. Just not in the way that is taught by political correctness. But in this case, the focus might need to shift from what is wrong with men, to what is wrong with a society that creates these specific men. And when I think about it, aren’t the cold calculating men, at least to a certain degree, also created by societal norms? Norms that, while having to do with gender, also have to do with the value we ascribe to power in general. Maybe our relation to power has a lot to do with dysfunctional emotions? This is something that I need to think more about. And by extension, what role power plays in my and other people’s lives in general.


Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash