Putting things into perspective and letting go of our baggage

Objectively speaking a new year doesn’t mean anything. The meaning of a new year only comes from the meaning we give it, individually and collectively. And yet, the power of a fresh start should not be underestimated.

When I started caring about my life and thus started the journey that I’m still on today I was at the bottom. I was a lazy, immoral emotional wreck that only looked out for number one. Today I still have a mess to clean up because of this. I still have a lot of bad habits and negative attitudes that I need to get rid of. And I have a financial situation that, while not being totally terrible, leaves much to be desired. 

You could say that my life was on auto-pilot, while I was living under the illusion of conscious choices. I think that this is part of the human condition that we are currently in. And even when we start understanding that this is how our lives work, much will still continue in the same manner. Because as soon as we stop truly being aware we fall asleep again. Then that pesky auto-pilot comes on. You just need to observe yourself a bit throughout the day to see that this is the way things work.

This has also, most definitely, been true for humanity as a collective, probably ever since we’ve been able to talk about “humanity as a collective” in any meaningful way. This does not work anymore. And let me say this: I don’t think that we are going to continue on this road for much longer. But if we do, global tyranny will be the result.

Since we’re a collective of individuals, it’s up to each and everyone of us to wake up, become conscious of ourselves and the world around us, and then take on as much responsibility as we can handle. What this means will differ depending on where we are in life. But more or less all of us fall short of what we could be.

So, how could I, a fairly intelligent person, be so blind to what was right in front of me? How could I, instead of looking at myself and my shortcomings, time and time again point out the faults of others?

The truth is that before finding God I didn’t care. Because I saw everything as pointless anyway. But even after I started caring, I kept on acting egoistic even though my intent was the opposite. I kept on making excuses for behaviors that I should have recognized as wrong. Why? 

I think that I hadn’t taken a serious look at myself. And at the same time, I managed to see myself as intellectually superior to others.

I hadn’t put my actions or attitudes under any real scrutiny. I lived in a confused fantasy world with a distorted reality perception. A few ingredients in this soup were: a mixture of wishful thinking, arrogance, pride, an inflated ego that stemmed from a low self-esteem, an unfounded sense of superiority and tons of other garbage. I was also not very good at putting myself in other people’s shoes. This last thing is, by the way, something that I’m still struggling with. And I’m hardly alone in this. A lack of empathy seems to be one of the many social diseases that plague our modern world. Especially when it comes to how our own words and actions affect other people.

What I’ve come to realize is that there are rights and wrongs. Very clearly so. And if we want to learn more about this, I believe that the best source is the New Testament of the Bible.

If we act in a way that seems beneficial to us, but is harmful to others and the world, somewhere it will also hurt us. It may give us wealth and pleasure, but it will inevitably destroy our character. For people with a conscience, it will inevitably also cause anxiety. And it certainly does not give us a sense of meaning. Furthermore, it also damages our relationship with other people and ultimately with God, no matter if we believe in him or not. 

These are all harms that can be hidden fairly well. Both from ourselves and others. But they are most certainly there.

I think that almost all of us have things in our lives that we need to change, even if we’re not overall dissatisfied with out lives. But if you’re dissatisfied with where your life is today, the best thing is probably not to be angry with yourself for allowing things to become that way. You didn’t ask for the world to be what it is. You didn’t know that what the world sold you was a junk pile of lies. “This is how it is”, the world said. “This is what’s important and these are the keys to a happy, fulfilled life.” The world took your survival instinct and turned it into a tool of destruction. And it usually takes some sort of crisis for us to become aware of it.

Maybe you didn’t know what you were doing when you created whatever mess you’re in. But it’s still up to you to clean it up. No one is going to do it for you and all of the anger and complaining in the world won’t change that fact. And life is not going to get any better just because you manage to convince someone that you’re not to blame for your situation.

In one sense, we need to accept that we are never going to be perfect. In this sense, we need to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion when it comes to our shortcomings. Because failure to live up to what we could be is a necessary component of life. Even for the greatest among us. And in the end, whatever we cannot do ourselves we need to lay in the hands of God.

That being said, we must never allow acceptance to turn into resignation. Especially not in these troubled times, with global tyranny being a real threat that looms in the horizon. No matter who and where we are, we need to be able to stand as strong as we are capable of.

When we think of what we want to let go of, I think that it’s worth engaging in some serious thought about who we want to become. Who we are in relation to who we say that that we want to be. And why we want to be who we say that we want to be. 

We probably don’t want to replace everything in our lives. Some have less baggage. Others have more. But no matter what, there is another truer self inside us that is waiting to be born. One that comes through in those sides of us that feel true. That don’t just seem created by our experiences, circumstances and automatic reactions to them. I know that you can feel this true version of yourself. The one that is buried underneath the various layers of falseness that have been created by being both in the world and of it.

I would propose that we need to rethink our ideal if the honest answer to why we want to be who we want to be, is that we want to be admired by others. I would also caution against making any type of “happy” into some sort of end goal.

Now, let me be the first one to admit that I’m not very good at following Jesus. There are still huge remnants inside of me, of the person I no longer wish to be. There are sides of me that are selfish, moody, judgmental and fearful. Just to name a few things.

Yet, I think that the best way of doing this self-inventory, is in light of the ideal of Jesus. Because, even though it’s in practice impossible to live up to such an ideal, why aim for anything less? Jesus knew that the only way to true freedom and happiness, was in the obedience to God and the service to others. This is of course not what the world tells us. But is the ways of the world making us feel free and happy?

A little New Years greeting

2022 has been a terrible year, for the world, for me personally and for my wife. But, for us, it has also been a year of much growth. I feel that it has been a year where many problems have been brought to the surface. In a way where we couldn’t ignore them any more. When this happens, you either give up or deal with them to the best of your ability. The first option has been tempting on many occasions. 

It’s been a rather even distribution of pains that I have caused myself, or we have caused together, and pains that have been beyond my/our control. 

Among the things that have happened, we’ve had a situation that I will not discuss here, we’ve lost a beloved cat, we’ve continued struggling financially and I’ve come face to face with a lot inside myself that I don’t like.

In this context it’s relevant to ask both if things really are beyond one’s control, and how much free will is involved in one’s bad decisions. This could be of particular interest now, as this is the time of the year when we start anew and make resolutions to better ourselves. 

On the one hand, we may feel that many things just happen to us, we are victims of circumstances and so on. But it’s rare that the situations have nothing whatsoever to do with poor decisions. Even if they might not be a direct consequence of them. If, for example, our car breaks down, it’s usually not something that we had no way of foreseeing. Maybe we bought a cheap, used car. Maybe we couldn’t afford a better car because we made poor financial decision in the past. Or we couldn’t afford to have that engine noise checked out, also because of poor financial decisions in the past.

Furthermore, if we have solid ground beneath our feet, we can usually handle what comes our way. But if we don’t, many problems turn into disasters. 

On the other hand, we wouldn’t make bad decisions if we knew that they were bad decision. At least not if we could help ourselves. Furthermore, how clearly we view our behavior and how much willpower we have to change, seems to be determined by factors beyond our control to a large degree. Something usually has to happen, that puts things into a new perspective. 

I could write several books about the problem of free will, so I will leave the discussion with this: I’ve gotten into the habit of observing myself quite a bit and I’ve done a fair bit of self-examination. And I still constantly catch myself lying to myself and act in ways that go against what I’ve intended. I’ve learned that the human capacity for self-deception is endless. This is where I’m at. But many people go through their whole lives without really making conscious choices. Where it’s obvious to anyone but themselves, that the reasons for their actions are entirely different from what they think. 

So, do you truly know why you do what you do? Do your actions have the consequences that you intend? Would you rather be right or have the best possible outcome? How much of your behavior is driven by ego?

As we enter the new year, I wish to be more conscious of the choices that I’m making and why I’m making them. I want to act less from the ego and more in alignment with God’s will. To let go of the lower parts of me while strengthening the higher.

My hopes for humanity are similar to what I personally aim for. I hope that more people start to wake up to the fact that God is the only authority that we need. That more people start taking responsibility for their actions, rather than looking to people in power (whether they are our elected rulers or those that are pulling their strings) for solutions and guidance. 

Handing over power to someone else has never worked before, so why should it now? The world is in crisis and things are not always as they appear. As a matter of fact, I would say that almost nothing is as it appears. But in all of this we still have God and each other. We don’t have to believe the same things or have the same opinions in order for us to come together and start building something better. The idea that we all have to agree to get along is dividing us, when we could face our challenges together.

There are people that want things to be this way. They want this so that we continue feeling powerless. Because if we feel powerless, we are likely to accept their solutions instead. We are likely to hand over our power to them instead. A power that really only belongs to God. 

In this state we are crippled. Instead of trying to force others to change, we can ask God what we need to change in ourselves. And instead of imposing our will on other people, we can do our best to work together with them. To think of how we can be the kinds of people that others would want to cooperate harmoniously with, rather than make others do what we want them to.

So, in spite of everything that has been over the past few years, I do have some hopes for 2023. Because I don’t think that I’m the only one that, during the past year, has become acutely aware of all of the things that don’t work and that I don’t want in my life. 

But it’s up to each and every one of us. Will we take responsibility for our lives, rise above all that is small and petty inside of ourselves, strive for what is truly good and noble and thus take our power back?

Happy New Year!

A little Christmas Greeting

I thought that I’d take a break from my regular blogging this Saturday, since it’s Christmas and most people probably have better things to do than to read blogs. But I thought that I’d just put a small piece together.

I want to begin by saying merry Christmas to all of my family and friends. Thank you for having put up with me throughout the years. You mean more to me than I often show.

Now, it’s easy to get cynical about Christmas these days. Just like it’s easy to get cynical about many things these days. You can take the fun and beauty out of most things if this is what you want.

If you want to, you can choose to look at Christmas as a holiday of drunkenness, gluttony, loneliness and empty bank accounts. You can point out that Jesus was almost certainly not born on the 25^th of December. And so on.

Or you can choose to reflect upon what Christmas represents, no matter when Jesus was born. That Christmas represents not just the birth of Jesus, but the beginning of the rebirth of the whole world and the whole of humanity. 

You look at Christmas as a time when you can allow yourself to take a break from an often hectic life and spend time with your loved ones, without feeling guilty about not being productive.

When pondering the significance of gifts, you can think about the gift of life that God has given you. You may think of the gifts that await you in the future. And you can think of the fact that God is himself the greatest gift of all. You can think of how this is reflected in the giving of gifts between people. Because it is the giver and not the gifts that is of true importance to us. We do well to remember this.

I’m not always good at seeing the best in the world and the people in it. But I want to be better at it. Not in the delusional way, where I tell myself that everything is fine when it really isn’t, while pretending that my problems don’t bother me, even though it’s obvious that they do.

No, I mean to see all the good that is in my life and the world. To not make more than I have to of my problems. To not ruminate on them if I can help it. To not let the joys just fly by while my mind is occupied with the past or the future. To instead take time to appreciate and be thankful for all my blessings.

This is where I want my focus to be. ghggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggn6767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767jhnWhat do your eyes see when they view the world?

Merry Christmas!

Have Faith!

Everything is in God’s hands. EVERYTHING is in God’s hands! In these troubled times it’s so easy to forget that. That there is a plan. That no matter how things look on the surface, both on a global and personal level, ultimately everything is going to be okay. This is what the Bible promises. This is what many of the Bible stories point to. For example when Moses parts the sea, when David slays Goliath, when Daniel and his friends walk into the fiery furnace, when Peter walks on the water with Jesus or when Jesus calms the raging storm. No matter what happens, God is always there with us. Even when the apostles were martyred, they knew that they were going home.

With this I don’t mean to trivialize the suffering that is happening in the world. But if we have faith, we know that the suffering does not take place in an ultimately meaningless world. We know that there will be redemption for those who suffer.

We all have our proverbial demons (and maybe some literal ones as well). One of mine is worries about money. I know perfectly well that my worries are very small in comparison to what many people go through. Me and my wife can still pay our bills and put food on the table. And we have a safety net of people around us if something goes seriously wrong.

Yet, when everything gets more expensive I worry. And I’m imagining all kinds of scenarios where we have to freeze and don’t have food, because we don’t have a solid financial ground to stand on. This is not to have faith. Faith is to do one’s best with what one has and leave the rest to God. Faith is to look boldly at the uncertainty of the future and say: “thy will be done”. 

What I have control over, is what I do with my relationship with my creator and the people around me. I have control over what kind of person I become through my daily choices. I can control what kind of character I develop.

Luckily this is where we can find our strongest foundation. Not in material possessions or riches. Our strongest foundation is built on where we stand with God, who we are and the people we surround ourselves with. 

By focusing on my little worries, I both distrust God and display a lack of proper care. 

What do I mean by “lack of proper care”?

Let me give you an example. Right now, billionaires all over the world are building bunkers, that are built to protect and maintain a comfortable lifestyle during a crisis. In other words, in the face of a global disaster, they think primarily of saving themselves and their families. 

But in light of what often runs through my mind at this time, am I so different? Are you? What are the chances that we would do the same if we could? 

Proper care means to focus on the greater picture. What at least I instead often focus on, is how everything affects me personally. How the state of the world interferes with my own goals, plans, dreams, wishes and desires. This while I ought to focus on what God wants with my life.

This leads to some tough questions: Is my life focused around what God wants or what my ego wants? Do my thoughts, words and actions match my answer, if I’m being honest with myself? 

I know that my answers to these questions are far from satisfying. But a serious attempt at being honest with oneself is at least a start.

I believe that faith is crucial here. Faith in that we don’t live in a cold, indifferent world where the future is completely uncertain. Faith in that there is a meaning to everything that is happening. Faith in that everything is in God’s hands. Faith that whatever happens, we can still trust God in the end. Faith that God holds us and preserves us, even in death.

What God asks of us, is to be okay with uncertainty. With not knowing everything in advance. To not let the world fool us into believing that there is no hope beyond politics, economics and science. To trust that whatever comes our way, ultimately it’s for the best. To truly believe in a life and a reality beyond this one, not just with our intellects, but with our whole being. To truly believe in God. That God is a personal God, that cares intimately for us. That he has a plan for everything that is happening right now. That God wants a relationship with us and that, in his time and not ours, he wants to give us everything. To allow these beliefs to shine through our thoughts, words and actions.

Have faith! 

God's will - The good news and the "bad" news

The good news is that your eternal life is going to be so much grander than eternal happiness and bliss in paradise. You are going to live in such a beautiful, loving, ecstatic, blissful connection with your creator, that the adjectives that I just used cannot even begin to describe it. 

This state is even available in this life and can be experienced longer and more intensely depending on our choices.

The “bad” news is the “depending on our choices” part. The “bad” news is that if we want to experience this, we have to do our best to stop doing what is bad for us and do more of what is good for us. We have to stop doing things that take us further away from God and do more of what brings us closer to God. Which means that we have to swallow our pride and do what God says. 

This starts on the inside. With a change of attitude. With the cultivation of humility. “Humility” is one of those words whose meaning is so important. And for me, one of those words that I hadn’t really reflected on until a couple of years ago. What does it mean to be humble? It was right in front of me. I could seriously brag about this or that without seeing that I had a problem with humility. And I can still get caught up in stubbornly wanting to have my will, even when I ought to know that it shouldn’t matter much. When I ought to know that there aren’t many things in this temporary life, in this temporary world that truly matter. Not from the perspective of eternity. Which is the perspective that will gradually remove the dust from our eyes.

Will I let the world fool me, trap me and control me while I attempt to have “my” will? Or will I freely choose God’s perfect will and allow him to set me free? The choice is easy once we see it clearly. We can either grasp for the empty pleasures that the world provides. Or we can fulfill our divine purpose. Which means enjoying the creation the way God intended for us to enjoy it. 

When infused with God’s spirit, our senses come fully alive. Everything feels, tastes, sounds, smells and looks better. The emotions associated with our sensations become stronger. Feel more real and meaningful.

You may ask: how can an omnipotent, omnipresent, infinite, eternal being be so personal that he has a will for each and everyone of us? And yet, this is exactly how it is. God wants to write us into his love story. We were made to love God and to be loved by God. This is the whole purpose of our existence. Sadly many of us don’t always live in a way that reflects this love. I don’t always live in a way that reflects this love.

We don’t just pray because it makes us feel good. Or because it puts us in a state where it's easier for us to believe in our ability to reach our goals. We pray because God listens to us. Because God wants to communicate with us. Because God is interested in us. Even if God already knows everything about us, he still wants us to turn to him consciously. To speak to him directly. And when we do, it changes us.

If we try earnestly, this is what we will eventually start feeling with all of our being. Not all of the time. In the beginning we will just have glimpses of this relationship. But these glimpses are so powerful that they will keep us going. We will want more of them. We will have more of them. In this life or the next one. And they will be more real and meaningful than anything we can ever experience without God.

God wants to give us everything. And all he wants in return is for us to seek his love, which is by far the best gift of all his gifts.

In a sense, finding out what God’s will is, is very simple. At least what to look for is very simple. 

God’s will is simply what comes natural, when we completely stop fooling ourselves. When we truly start acting in the manner that feels best in every given situation. In other words, when we get our egos out of the way, we will see that our will and God’s will are one. If God has a will and wants what’s best for us, how could it be any other way?

We can live in a natural flow or we can go against the natural flow. Resistance or non-resistance. This can be applied to anything in life. Does what I do follow the natural flow of life or does it disrupt it? This is something that we can only know for ourselves. But it is how life operates whether we like it or not. This is God’s will. And nothing that we tell ourselves can ever change that. The big mistake that has been made with regard to this throughout history is to attach morals to it. Hence, we have made something that needs to be understood on a personal level, into collective morals and dogma, that is forced upon people by the authorities. When we understand this principle, authorities become unnecessary. Because when we understand this principle, we understand that whatever action that goes against the natural flow of life, first and foremost damages the one engaging in the action. Do I want to hurt others and myself? Or do I want to heal others and myself? Do I want to get closer to, or further away from God? 

It is this simple. The difficult thing is not to understand this. The difficulty lies in letting go of our pride. It’s difficult to admit that we don’t have everything figured out. That our approach to many things comes from a need to be right and feel superior. Not from what will lead to the most happiness for everyone involved.

Furthermore, we have accumulated so much baggage, in the form the opinions and views of friends and family, that are just as- or even more confused than we are, of societal and cultural norms and expectations, habits, perceived needs and so on. Many times we haven’t really reflected on why we’ve adopted certain ideas and perspectives. It has more or less just happened. We’ve reacted to something long ago. And then we’ve used that reaction to interpret other similar experiences or information. And so it goes. Cause and effect with no real, conscious choices. 

I tell myself that I want something because of one reason. But really, my reason is another. Or at least, I’m not telling myself or others the whole truth. One example that I ran into a while back, was that I tried to stay fit because of health reasons. This was partially true. But the reason was also vanity. If it wasn’t, I would have worked out differently. This realization led to the choice of changing my workouts. Which I did. I started working out in a way that focused on improving my body instead of growing muscles and shedding fat. Which led me to having more pleasurable workouts. It also led me to the realization that I was basing a far from negligible part of my self-worth on how I looked, rather than who I was. Which also has prompted me to examine other areas where I base my self-worth on things that don’t really matter.

I’ve had a taste of what is possible when I let go of my ego’s petty wants and wishes. When I, for example, let go of my pride and need to be right. When I try to meet every person, regardless of the circumstances, with love and respect. Or when I just accept what is, instead of wishing for things to be different. Or when I stop needing that other people see me a certain way. And so on. There is such a light sense of freedom in this. And yet, when I try to let go of old patterns, I’m shaken by anxiety. And even though it feels like crap, I feel such a strong pull from these habits, that I often give in to them. Even though I know that I get absolutely nothing from giving in and even though I know that the anxiety has no basis in reality. 

In the end, God’s will is to live in harmony and not in disharmony. Harmony is what comes easy and natural. When we just can let go and trust, we won’t need anything else. We can put our lives fully in God’s hands. But until we are ready to do this, we will have to learn more about ourselves, struggle with ourselves and feel the pain of failure. Before we are ready to hear the voice of God on the inside all the time, we will need external sources to guide us. But remember this, even if we cannot se it from our current perspective, God and his Holy Spirit are always closer than anyone or anything in the world. The Holy Spirit will always work in our lives to the degree that we let go of our ego’s petty wishes and desires.

Freedom in God or slavery to the world?

Do you want to be completely free to make your own choices, with no one ruling over you? I’m sorry to be the one to break it to you, but that option is not available. You may think that it is. It most probably seems that way. But it isn’t. At least this is what I believe and I believe that I have good reasons for my belief. 

Here is the conclusion that this blog post is about written in as plain language as I’m capable of: As far as I can tell, the only options we have are to either choose God’s will freely or being enslaved by the world. 

How could it be otherwise? If God is infinitely more wise than we are, always wants what’s best for us. And we, on the other hand, are capable of infinite depths of self-deception. This capacity for self-deception is part of what it means to live in a fallen state.

As with so many things, I was blind to what was in front of me for most of my life. For most of my life I’ve lived in a very confused state. To a certain degree, one that is far from negligible, I still do. But the more I let God’s will guide my life, the clearer things seem to become.

When I finally started to see the state that I was in, I had ran into one dead end after another without even realizing it. I was thoroughly convinced of my ability to make it on my own and live according to “my” will. “I make my own rules” and all that crap. So much so that I became blind to everything that didn’t work in my life. To all of the dead ends that I kept running into. I thought that I was in control, but the chaos in my life told a different story.

I’m giving you a somewhat simplified version of what happened here. If you go back far enough in my life, you will find a person who completely let his animal side rule over him. At that time, I didn’t reflect much upon my behavior at all. I had to at least care about living a good life, to realize how hard it is to do so while having no firm guidelines. And while still trying to pursue my ego’s wants, wishes, goals and desires. Let alone starting to discern what comes from the ego and what comes from that which is true inside of me. In other words what comes from the guidance of the Holy Spirit. 

I would say that what got the ball rolling was that I found a certain peace in the Bible and Christianity. I honestly don’t remember exactly where I felt it first, but it was a few years ago. Back then I didn’t know really what Christianity was. So the most I had to go on was a feeling. I had read the Bible and some of the mystics. But the message had not sunk in in a way that made the faith really come alive on a personal level. In my day to day life. And quite frankly, other types of spirituality seemed more exciting. So after a while I started drifting.

Here I feel the need to interject that if Christianity doesn’t excite you, you need to go deeper into it. Invite the Holy Spirit in. Once you’ve been touched by the Holy Spirit you will have all the excitement that you need.

Anyway… At some point, probably a few years after the initial encounter with God’s peace I started noticing that Christianity and the Bible seemed to bring some distance between me and the financial hardships that me and my wife were facing. They didn’t seem to matter as much when I really felt that I had God and Jesus to lean on. I also experienced more of the peace that I just mentioned. 

At the place where I am right now, I’ve found an intellectual understanding of why, which was something that I lacked when this journey started. This intellectual understanding is growing every day.

My blogging has helped me to gain more clarity, even though I wasn’t completely blind to my situation when I started. A funny thing is that God more or less told me to start this blog. And even though I haven’t had much success with it, writing down my experiences and thoughts about them have been a huge help for me. What priorly was an incoherent mess started to become ordered. Patterns emerged. And from these patterns followed insights. Some insights have been personal. Others have seemed more universal. 

Why can’t I have things simply “my” way? Because when I say “my” way I really mean “my ego’s way”. And my ego is inevitably and undeniably slave to my lower nature. To my animal instincts. And the animal instincts are ruled by cause and effect. The world provides a stimulus and I react. Just like animals do. And so I fall victim to temptation over and over again. And today the world produces so much stimulus.

The more I live according to my own rules, the more frustrated and helpless I feel. The more I surrendered to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, the more happy, light and free I feel. 

In light of what I just said, telling myself that I’m free while living in the sorry state of “my” will, is the worst kind of self-deception possible. “My” will will always have me chasing after the wind. My ego tells me that I want empty gratification of the senses, admiration, success, be looked upon as smart, insightful etcetera. This while I really know that the only road to joy and peace is to live close to God and focus on what God says is important.

The Bible is pretty clear on what will give me happiness, peace, joy etcetera: Loving God. Loving my neighbor such as myself. Non-judgment. Stay faithful to my wife and loved-ones. Not worrying so much about the troubles of this world, but instead keeping my eye on the eternal. Being humble and letting go of pride. And so on.

Learning to live this way takes time though. Especially if you, like me, have a lot of baggage.

The thing with the Bible is that the more you study it and see your life through it, the more it starts to make sense. The more I study the Bible, the more the line “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19) makes sense.

By looking inwardly I’ve learned a few things. I have several wills inside of me that compete with each other. Sometimes I decide on one thing. But then I talk myself into justifying the opposite. Not because of some new information. But because I argue myself into believing something else. Most of the time something that is in line with my lower nature and more instant gratification. And then I realize that I suffer because of it - or make other people suffer sometimes - and so I’m back to my original intent.

And so it goes. Even though I know this, I keep falling into the same traps over and over again.

No matter what school of psychology you look at it from, whether it’s psychoanalysis, neurology, cognitive psychology or behaviorism, you arrive at the same conclusion. We are not in control of ourselves. We usually don’t know exactly what we want or why we want it. And if we do, the reasons are probably not what we tell ourselves. And our emotions, habits, irrational desires and all of the things in the world that prey on them cause us to act in all kinds of strange manners. Manners that we explain away afterwards, because of some strange need for things to make sense when they really don’t. 

It may take a while if you haven’t understood this yet. But if you search and study these things with an open mind, you can not fail to realize that there is a God, and that this is a personal God. You will also realize that there is some sort of spiritual reality and that there is a divine order to things, ordained by God. 

In light of the above, we have a choice to make. Do we want to continue following our own wills and ge trapped by the world? Or do we freely want to submit our wills to God’s will? The God who loves us, always wants what’s best for us and is infinitely wise and powerful. 

If we realize that this might be something worth doing, we do it, once we’ve found God, by reading God’s word and works by those that try to help us understand it. And last, but certainly not least, we do it by asking God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit to guide us. 

Photo by Rafael De Nadai on Unsplash

Worldly "wisdom" or faith in God - A perspective on the current state of the world

In 1 Corinthians 3:19 st. Paul says: “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God.” 

What I want to talk about in this blog post, is the hope that is available to us in these troubled times. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). God has promised that he will “wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

In other words, God has promised to restore the world and take away all that which causes us pain. If you believe in the truth of the Bible, this is also something that you must believe in. No matter how dark it seems on the outside, there will come a turning point, even if we don’t know exactly when or how. And for more and more people every day, there is a light inside that burns ever more bright as the world grows darker. A tangible, unquestionable light, whose strength is intimately connected with our surrender to God.

An atheist bus campaign had the following to say a few years ago: "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life." Some of the world’s most influential intellectuals stood behind the campaign.

What I have learned is that what seems to be a good idea from the human intellect’s perspective, often does not turn out so good when put into practice. When we stop worrying and enjoy life, life tends to become neither worry-free nor enjoyable for most of us. For some it does. But not for most of us. And even for those that it does, tragedy can strike at any moment and when it does, unless we have God in our life, senseless pain with no hope of restoration is the only available option. 

I realize that if this is how the world truly is, we can do nothing but swallow the bitter pill and cope with it to the best of our ability. But today I know this belief to be false, which is a source of great hope and joy in the midst of the crisises that we are facing today. I can’t say that it will happen this way for everyone, but for me all it took was to open up to the possibility that God exists, a little less than twenty years go. God took care of the rest.

If you look at what the world teaches us about anything from sex, to interpersonal relations, to consumer habits and what we should focus on and prioritize, it seems pretty reasonable on the surface. But in practice it is utterly unnatural, makes us unhappy and unfulfilled. Many are starting to see through this now. What has been known for a long time within the domain of religion and spirituality, is more and more confirmed by psychological research.

Those that haven’t met me since my teens and early twenties would not recognize me today. For most of my life from mid adolescence up until I found my faith, I had this feeling that who I am is not really me. That if I chose a completely different identity tomorrow, that identity would be no less me than the one today. This could also be worth thinking about in the identity-obsessed culture of today.

I don’t feel the way that I just described anymore though. My identity as a believer in God, as spiritual, and today also as a Christian, was the first part of my whole identity that felt true. That didn’t feel completely arbitrary. That wasn’t permeated by meaninglessness lack of seriousness. 

At the time I told myself that I was pretty content with what can ultimately be boiled down to a nihilistic view of life and the world. I embraced the belief that if I died tomorrow, nothing would matter anymore as far as I was concerned. Zero responsibility and zero consequences. 

Now I’ve learned that what we tell ourselves is very often very far from the truth. But we tend to forget that the concept of “lying to ourselves” actually means something. If we think of it at all, we often tend to think that it is an activity that others engage in, but that we somehow are exempt from. 

Back then I engaged in many behaviors that hurt me and others. Behaviors that from a materialist perspective seemed harmless and completely acceptable. It took years to see the damage that they had caused. I thank God that he didn’t leave me in this sorry state. That he instead not only showed me where I had gone astray, but also showed me something infinitely better than the empty gratifications that I was seeking in the world.

As what the world has to offer becomes more and more hollow, costly and painful, the choice should become more and more easy to make. And once you’ve tasted just a little of what God has to offer, you will scoff at the fruits of the world if they cause you to disobey God. And this is what you need to do. What all of us need to do. Obey God. It’s either that or slavery to the world. God never forces his will upon us. Neither does he try to manipulate us into doing his will. Coercion and manipulation are the ways of the world. And God only wants us to do what is best for us. What brings us closer to him.

I’m a perfect example of this. I was so lost in wanting to have my own will, that I didn’t see how enslaved my stubbornness was making me. And I truly managed to convince myself that my lifestyle was making me happy, free and emancipated. 

If you are still seeking happiness in the ways of the world you may think that I’m fooling myself now. That I was more true to myself before. This something that I’ve noticed when I’ve spoken or listened to many atheists over the years. That even though I feel much better in every way today, they still believe that I’m somehow missing out on life. But to me it’s overwhelmingly clear - when I was having “my” way I wasn’t free at all. But the more I surrender, the freer, happier, more alive and liberated I feel. 

The funny thing is that when I enjoy the fruits of the world in the way God intended, everything feels and tastes much better. When God is allowed to permeate my senses, all of my experiences become so much more colorful, vivid, delightful and beautiful. 

If you want one big takeaway from the Old Testament it is this: stray from the path that God has laid out for you and you will be the victim of the forces of this world. Follow the path and things will go well for you. 

God wants to give us everything that is good for us in abundance. But in his time, in the right way and when we are ready for it. We were made to love God and to be loved by God. This is what is written into our hearts. This is a love that exists in each and everyone of us, from the lowest to the highest. It is a love that is always there, no matter how many layers of dirt that we have managed to bury it under. It is about opening up and let this love in. And we cannot do this when our thoughts, words and actions are loveless. Empty sensory gratification, for example, is by its very nature loveless. But as soon as we let go and let love in, there is no more doubt. This is not something that we have to strive for. It is not something that we need to accomplish. It is just a question of what drives our thoughts, words and actions. God will take care of the rest.

Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash