I had a strange experience on Saturday the 4th in December 2021. I was laying in bed next to my wife when my thoughts wandered to all the non-Christians that are talking about their spiritual awakenings, when it struck me that we don’t have to be Christians to be called to Jesus. That all those that go through this are being called directly by God. Most of them just don’t understand this yet (This will probably anger both Christians and New Agers ;)).
As these thoughts entered my mind, I experienced something that I best can describe as fear of God and being shaken to the core of my soul. It was a very physical feeling, as if a storm went through my whole body. I also experienced several conflicting emotions at once and I’m going to try to give an account of them that is as accurate and honest as possible, while knowing that words cannot convey what it was even close to full extent. I might even be labelling the emotions wrongly, because I only have access to my erroneous memory. But the emotions, as far as I can remember them, were deep joy and grief at the same time, with tears flowing from both. It was a feeling of being utterly terrified and safe and held at the same time. I felt that I was completely at the mercy of God. A god that could end my life and do anything he pleased with me. And yet, I knew that this god loved me more than I could ever imagine.
All of this lasted for less than a minute, but it shook me to my core. Afterwards I was in shock and awe and insights that I cannot deny, at the same time as I don’t fully dare to believe them, came over me.
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