The more I let go, the better my life seems to work

Life is full of distractions. Have you noticed that? The world is full of things that occupy our minds. Things that we attach importance to. And the more we hold on to those things, the more messy things get. I feel that I’ve gone through some sort of shift with this lately. But be that as it may, tomorrow I may very well be caught up in all of the little petty problems of life again. 

And that is what they are. Petty problems. Petty concerns. Petty needs. Petty wants. This is what we all so easily get caught up in. Things have to be a certain way for us to be happy. And we worry about a tomorrow that we know nothing about. 

What should I eat? What should I drink? Will I be able to pay my bills? Will I be able to put food on the table? 

And these are real concerns for many people. From a global perspective, it’s real concerns for most people. But is it for me? Is it for you? Would it really have to be for anyone, if each and every one of us took responsibility for getting our priorities straightened out? I'm obviously not talking about being perfect at this. Just about bringing some consciousness into such matters.

This is the world that we are creating together. And uneven distribution seems to be built into the way that life itself functions. Because more or less everywhere, both in the human and animal world, resources seem to be unevenly distributed. And there seems to be no political solutions to this. The only difference between left and right seems to be how the inequality arises. In liberal, capitalist systems we get an uneven distribution through the market. In socialist systems the political class, and/or those that have so much money that they can pay their way out of any regulations, get the biggest share.

And we often seem to make things worse with loads of mindless doing. Mindless doing that is intended to solve our problems. But that instead push things in the opposite direction from what we say that we want.

Why am I talking about this? Because there is a place where we haven’t looked for solutions yet. At least not on a larger scale. This might also be the place that truly separates us from the rest of the creation.

This place is within. What good could that possibly do? Well, we’ve tried everything else and the world is still in chaos. More so than ever. At least during the past few years. Even though, materially speaking, life is better than ever. 

There seems to be a false and a true personality inside of us. The false one is more or less what is usually referred to as the ego. This false personality is governed by instincts. And it has all these requirements that it needs to have fulfilled in order for life to be good. Those requirements are not something that we have chosen consciously. We have just more or less randomly reacted to the external world. 

Maybe if we take a step back and start to figure ourselves out a bit, instead of running around frantically trying to solve everything that we perceive as wrong, we might actually be able to do something good. If we start separating what is false from what is true inside ourselves. Because maybe there is some truth to the statement: “As within, so without”. 

And to make it clear, we are part of something so much grander that our little thoughts cannot begin to comprehend it. And yet we are so caught up with our thinking. I don’t know exactly what is happening in the world. Only that it’s big. Really big. 

And even if I did find all of the answers that I’m seeking, I’m more or less certain that I could not describe it in words. I know that life and the world are so much more than we can comprehend with the five senses. I know that whatever it is, we are going through some sort of shift on the planet right now. I also know that it has something to do with the Bible and Biblical prophecies. But I also know that I and everyone else only have begun to scratch the surface of things. 

Something that I’ve learned through experience, is that we are all connected through some sort of energy field that runs through us all. And the more I say yes to my experience and stop resisting what is happening in the present moment, the more I can feel it. In other words, the more I let go, the better things get. The more I stop demanding that the world gives me what I want, the more blessing I receive freely. 

So maybe it’s time to stop worrying and start trusting. I’m saying this as much to myself as to everyone else. If we truly believe in God, that God is who he says he is and that everything is in God’s hands, maybe we also need to adopt an attitude that matches this belief. This goes for both our personal issues, as well as the global problems that we are facing today. Maybe if we start looking within and just stop doing the things that we know we should stop doing, this will be enough. Maybe solutions to what seems to be out of our control will present themselves effortlessly. Without the need for a tyranny and forced compliance. 

Maybe what we need is not more force, but more letting go. More focus on the essential, while we ignore what is unimportant or out of our control. And I don’t know about you, but when I look at my days I find so much junk that occupies my awareness. Where would I be today, if I had determined to not allow these things to distract me? Where would you be? Where can we be in a year, if we decide this right now? In ten years?

NON-RESISTANCE and the BEAUTY of life

Life can be so beautiful when we seize with the activity for a little while and take the time to just stop and experience what is. I suggest that you pause reading this blog post and take the time to just listen to Antonín Dvořák’s Serenade for Strings in E Major. It should be the first song that comes up if you search his name on Spotify. And why not listen to the song that comes afterwards while you’re at it

Just listen without thinking that you have to be somewhere. Do something. Just be there with what is and take in without resisting or holding on to anything. This is God speaking through a person. And if you are calm, quiet and silent, you can hear God’s voice. Here and now can be so filled with beauty, joy, wonder and love. But we miss it when we resist what we don’t want or grasp for what we don’t have. And the thing is that the real game is an inner game. 

We are always in some form of activity. Thoughts are an activity. And most thoughts are on auto-pilot. Fear and anxiety are activity. When we feel fearful and anxious something moves inside us. And we either resist it or try to find an outlet for it. Both of these options are activity. But we also have the option of just being still. Of just accepting what is. The secret here is that we don’t have to do anything. We feel that we have to do something. Because we have been conditioned to think that we always have to do something. That our egos have to step in and try to fix the situation. But the thing is that we are connected to something so much more powerful. We are connected with God, the almighty. But if we want God to work through us, we must drop the illusions. We must seize with the ego’s endless activities. The little me, the one that really is nothing, merely an illusion, needs to step aside. God is infinite love. Infinite energy. And at the same time, God is also infinitely intimate and personal. This is another secret. You cannot have the infinitely big without the infinitely small. As above, so below. This is the beauty of oneness and duality. To be able to experience oneness in a meaningful way, you first need duality. But this has to be experienced to be understood. I’m not sure that I completely understand it myself. 

The more I can just live in this acceptance and gratitude for what is, the more joy I find in just being. When I for example just allow myself to be overwhelmed by a piece of classical music, without any resistance or need for things to be a certain way, I can find a wellspring of overflowing love and joy inside of me, that just wants to burst forth when nothing hinders it anymore. 

To conclude: I hope you enjoyed this text. I let it flow from the spirit that I’m talking about throughout it. Maybe it doesn’t make sense. Maybe it does. It’s always hard to put powerful experiences into words so that others can understand them. But to me, what I have written here is one of my most important insights. Everything is about letting go. About living in gratitude of what is good, instead of resistance towards the unwanted, or longing for what is not. It’s about taking action from a divine place instead of from the ego. It’s about allowing life to unfold joyfully through oneself, instead of forcing life to comply with the demands of the ego. It’s the easiest and hardest thing to do, both at the same time. All we have to do is to not resist what is. If you understand this correctly, you understand that this is not a ticket to complacency. What it is, is about acting because we truly want to, and not because we feel that we have to. In every little infinitesimal moment in life, we are give the choice of resisting or not resisting. When we don’t resist, everything flows with joyful effortlessness.

GODLINESS and ANIMALNESS

Maybe you’ve heard that according to the Bible we were made in the image of God? What does this mean? And perhaps more importantly: What in our lives today is godly? And what in our lives is not godly or ungodly? 

When we choose whether to engage in a certain activity or not, it may be wise to ask ourselves: Am I acting in a divine or animalistic way? This is one of the ways that we can use to discern how to apply what the Bible says to our own lives. 

It’s also one way to make the Biblical teachings make sense. What do I mean by this? Well, I’ve been noticing how it’s not always obvious why the Bible or Jesus in particular says a certain thing or sets a certain example. But, looking at the bigger picture, I’ve been able to see that it has been good for me. And this is important: The Bible doesn’t say that we should do some things, abstain from others, adopt a certain attitude or follow a certain example just because it pleases God. It says what it says because what it says is good for us. If we look at the Bible as a rulebook that we need to follow to avoid punishment or get rewarded, we are missing the whole point. And for the record, I don’t believe in hell, even though I don’t rule it out completely either. All I’m saying is that I don’t think that the Bible should be viewed either as a threat or as a set of rules that hinder us from enjoying life. 

At the root of godliness and animalness is the question of free will. As far as I know, humans are the only beings with freedom of choice. Animals act according to their nature, to their instincts. They often act out of love, but it is not a love that they choose. 

This means that whenever we are acting mindlessly and just follow our impulses, we are choosing animalness. Or rather, we let animalness guide our lives because we do not make a conscious choice. 

Here I would like to add a small note: This does not mean that if we are not super strict with ourselves, we are acting like animals. This is about making conscious choices. And making conscious choices includes being kind to ourselves. And sometimes, being kind to ourselves means that we allow ourselves to indulge in a bad habit that we at the moment feel is too hard to break. But making conscious choices also means to be ready to let go of one’s vices as soon as it feels as if it is in one’s power. 

Choices or the act of not making choices of course also affects us. Acting like animals does something to us. We become a little less free. A little more ruled by our instincts. And the reverse is also true. The more we embrace our divine nature, the more we move away from our instinct driven selves. 

This is one of those interesting paradoxes of being human. The more restrictions we place upon ourselves, as long as it’s the right restrictions, the more free we become.

We don’t see many things that are right in front of us until they are identified and labelled. So it is with the division between animalness and divinity. Once the distinction is made, as long as we don’t forget about it, we cannot help but seeing it. And the more we learn, the more responsibility is placed on our shoulders. And the more responsibility we can take on, the richer and freer life becomes. But it also becomes harder.

Knowing that we can approach our choices in life from an animalistic or godly place is a heavy burden if we take this knowledge seriously. But it is a burden that we have to take on if we wish to be free. Our animal natures inevitably lead to slavery to our instincts. It might be a comfortable and even pleasurable slavery. But no matter how much gold we manage to pour over our cage, the cage will always be a cage.

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Deciding who we want to be PART 1

What I want with this post is to encourage you to think a bit about who you are, who you want to be, what you fill your life with and whether this represents who you truly want to be or not. I sort of had a rude awakening a few years back, when I realized how much of my life that was not really me. And I can hardly be alone in this. Yes, I know that ultimately I’m none of these things. I know that deep inside we are simply love and everything else is just add-ons. But knowing this, I don’t think that it can hurt to make more conscious choices with regards to our attitudes and what we fill our lives with. Besides, whether we do it consciously or not, we make choices all the time. 

I think that the best way to approach the question of identity, is to have some conscious sense of it, without being attached to it or confusing it with who one truly is.

I will drop a part of this series now and then. I of course want to do something other than just talk about who I want to be here. But since thinking deeply about who one really wants to be will be quite a project, I don’t think that a series from start to finish, with no other posts in between will be any fun for anyone. Not even for me And I want to take my time to think about these things anyway and not just rush through them. There are so many aspects of life to consider.

It might seem a little strange to still thinking about finding who you are and your place in the world when you’re basically forty. Or maybe it doesn’t. I don’t know. I know that I’m not happy just picking a role and then play it. Why should I even bother thinking about this? Why not just go ahead and live life? Because for most of my life I haven’t really felt like me. It’s not as if I’ve always thought of it this way. But it took a long time for me to take a step back and consider what values I truly treasure. What personality traits I admire. What things in life that truly make me feel happy and fulfilled. What do I truly like in this or that area? When I really listen to my emotions, what to they tell me about my life and my choices? How do I want to look? What kinds of clothes do I like to wear? And, perhaps even more important, what things that I currently fill my life with don’t represent who I truly want to be. What things do I want to let go of?

The thing is that I don’t think that most people really, truly think about these things. I can’t believe that most people’s biggest dream is to work themselves to death so that they can consume, make money off of hurting other people, or drink themselves half-unconscious and make fools out of themselves every weekend. Not that everyone does this. But loads of people do, and these are just some of the most blatant examples. And at least when it comes to getting drunk every weekend, this was something that I myself engaged in when I was younger. And nowadays I see it mostly as just a huge waste of time, health and energy. 

The point that I’m trying to make can be summed up in three questions (forgive me for repeating myself a little bit): Why do we do the things that we do? Do we do them because they are what our hearts desire? Or have our lives and that which they contain sort of just happened to us? 

Photo by Ben Sweet on Unsplash 

Making conscious choices in every moment

What if things could be much easier than we make them, if we just train ourselves to approach life differently? What if we just need to get out of one big pattern, instead of having to fix every little single detail of our lives individually?

I’ve for a long time known that our lives to a large degree operate on autopilot. We live the same or similar scenarios from day to day. And if we don’t take a step back and decide to do something differently, we also respond to them out of habit. Our habits shape our lives. Are we satisfied with our lives? If not, we need to change our habits. But what if we don’t have to look at every habit individually? What if there is one habit that we can train ourselves into, that will automatically change all of our other habits?

I’m talking about the habit of making conscious choices. As with any habit, this habit needs training. When we train ourselves to do something, we repeat it over and over again till we don’t have to think about it anymore. Till we do it out of habit. 

What I’ve come to realize, is that when I make a choice that is not in line with how I want to live my life and who I want to be, it’s often not because of weakness or lack of character. It can be that too. Some desires and cravings are simply too hard for me to resist where I am at the present moment. But more often than not, I’m just not really aware of what I am doing. I’m not aware that I’m making a choice. Instead I just allow life to happen. 

Let’s look at an example. Let’s say that I have lots of work to do. But let’s also say that I need to cook. I feel a strong resistance to doing the cooking, because I’m also a little tired. And I don’t want to pay for a healthy, readymade meal, because if I want a healthy one, it’s more expensive. So, what ends up happening, is that I have the idea that I have to do both, but I end up wasting tons of time and energy because of the resistance that I feel. In the end I pay might miss doing work that would bring in 50 dollars, because I don’t want to pay ten dollars for a readymade meal. Money that I also could use to make healthier choices in the future.

The point is that I believe that there is another perspective here. I can just decide to be as conscious about the choices that I make every moment. Because every moment is a new moment. Life consists of literally and infinite amount of moments, where I have the possibility of making a conscious choice, or just act out of habit. So maybe instead of expending tons of energy on resisting strong desires and cravings, unless, of course, I have a desire for something that would have serious negative consequences for me and others, I can just relax a bit, make the conscious choice of indulging now and then? Maybe I just need to do these things consciously, with intention? Train myself to do everything this way, so that I can choose something differently when I don’t feel these strong urges. I have a strong feeling that many things will fall away on their own if I do this consistently. There will obviously be some difficulty to adjust to this in the beginning, but this difficulty will rather have to do with that my life is adjusted to the old way of doing things.

Photo by Simon Wilkes on Unsplash

Non-resistance is THE game changer

It’s strange to think that I’ve been doing all of this searching to come to this simple conclusion. The basics are as follows. Life consists of an infinite amount of moments, since time is infinitely dividable. In every moment we have a choice of whether to say yes or no to what is happening. We always have this choice, even if the circumstances affect how easy or hard it is to see this choice. 

The foundation of saying yes to the present moment is to be present with it. We are present with it by being here and now. To do that we allow as much of our experience as possible. We are present inside our heads, really see what it is that we are seeing and really feel what it is that we are feeling. Every time that we feel a tension inside our heads or our bodies, we are resisting in one way or another. When we are not resisting, everything flows naturally. If everything does not flow naturally, we are resisting. 

Most of the thoughts that we have in our heads are resistance in one form or another. They bring us out of the present moment, tell us why the present moment is not as it should be and distract us in different ways. 

What I have noticed is that when I don’t resist things, everything is effortless. Problems in my body correct themselves. The things that I do have a natural, totally efficient flow to them. I feel a peaceful relaxation inside myself, my breath flows naturally and I expend very little energy doing the things that I do. I pay attention to what is going on and do things in a systematic way. Solutions to problems seem to present themselves out of nowhere. 

The only problem is that every moment offers the possibility of forgetting this state. So I have to keep reminding myself to live in this state over and over again. It is a completely effortless shift, but because I’m so used to struggling, the shift will be accompanied by some discomfort. This discomfort is however illusory. There is nothing hard about this whatsoever. It’s just about learning a new way of functioning from.

Photo by Erin O'Brien on Unsplash

A non-reactive mindset

It’s difficult not to react to things. Something happens that we think shouldn’t happen and we get an emotional reaction. The emotions translate either into thoughts or actions. And we end up making things worse, either on the inside or the outside. On the inside by suppressing them so that they get stored inside the body as tension. Or on the outside by acting on them and thereby for example get into conflicts or break things.

We cannot choose how we feel. But we can choose what we think and how we act. We can choose actively to bring awareness and acceptance into what is happening in the moment, both inside ourselves and outside ourselves. And this, in turn, will affect our emotions.

I think that fear is the root of the negative emotions. Fear is reactive. Love is proactive. When I for example get angry, I’m really afraid that I will get hurt or that I won’t have my needs met. If something for example breaks, it triggers a whole cascade of different fears. Fear that it will waste my time so that I won’t manage to do things in time, fear that I won’t afford to fix or replace it and that I won’t have the things that I need in order. These are of course my fears that get triggered. Yours might be different. And it can often be difficult to know why we feel what we feel before we have started to think consciously about it. An interesting thing is that just by thinking consciously about something we start changing it.

The point is that I can choose if I want to feed this emotional state with my thoughts and actions or not.

When we primarily just react to things we also become predictable. And this, I believe, is worth thinking about. Because right now algorithms predict our online behavior and provide us with stimuli to manipulate us. But I truly believe that if we start living in the now, from a place of conscious awareness, make proactive choices instead of reactive ones and are clear about our values and why we have them, we diminish the chance of machines turning us into robots. Because we are truly wonderful, glorious children of God, destined to walk freely together with our loving creator. 

And conscious awareness is key here. The more we become aware of our actions and take responsibility for our unconscious behavior, the better we will become at getting out of our reactive mindsets. We must not allow our thoughts to provide us with nonsensical explanations of our reactive behaviors. Rather, we need to se these behaviors for what they are. A non-reactive mindset really doesn’t take any effort to cultivate. But we need to keep reminding us of it over and over again. This is the key. To remember to not get swept up in unconsciousness.