Don't be afraid

There is so much fear in the world right now. Have you noticed? It seems that there is just one threat or disaster after another. And everthing that we need in our day to day lives is getting more expensive.

First of all, it’s okay to be afraid. It’s understandable. No one is going to judge you because you are afraid. So you can relax. At least when it comes to this. But just know that you don’t have to be afraid.

We worry about the future of the planet, wars, the economy, our economy. All the way from the whole of humanity, down to us as individuals, we worry. Everything seems to be hitting us all at once.

I’m not going to say that this means one thing or the other. But doesn’t it all seem a bit odd?

Here’s a suggestion: Maybe it’s time that we who aspire to follow Christ start believing that we are taken care of? 

For me this entails that when it comes to problems of humanity that we don’t seem to be able to solve on our own, I decide to trust God instead. Trust that God will not just let the world perish. That God will never force that which is unacceptable on us in order to save the world or humanity. 

Knowing where I stand when it comes to this, will also help me draw a clear line when it comes to what political solutions I will never comply with.

If we don’t take a step back, just breathe and think about the fact that, in the end, everything is in God’s hands it’s easy to forget about joy. It’s easy to just react. Because this is what we’ve gotten used to. Make a panicked response to a stressful situation. Whether we do it as individuals or as a collective.

One major reason for this is that the default mode of our brains is to keep us safe. But that just won’t do anymore. We are on our way towards something new. Something where our egos and instincts can no longer guide us. Can you feel it? 

One thing that the Bible says, is that God has promised that in one way or another, he will take care of us. He has not said that everything is going to be easy or even that our survival, on an individual level in this physical body, is guaranteed. But he has promised that he won’t let the world go under until the end times. And even the end times may suggest a more symbolic interpretation. 

Now, those that want to control us want to keep us in a fearful state. Because it’s easier to get fearful people that are deprived of hope and meaningfulness to hand over their power.

So if you really want to stick it to the man so to speak, the only way forward is to learn not to respond in a negative, fearful manner. To stay happy, hopeful and trusting even when the world tries to bring you down is the only way out. 

Therefore, to be joyful and happy is an act of defiance. To refuse to let our chaotic world upset our balance. To choose to rely on God and on that there is a plan. Isn’t that great? The way that we fight back is by choosing happiness and embracing the positive aspects of life.

I know that it’s not always easy. Neither on a personal nor a global level. We might be struggling with one thing or the other on a personal level. And on a global level there are different things that grab hold of our attention in a way where we seem unable to stop thinking about them. Thus we worry. Thus we fall. Because we’ve learned a totally backwards way of functioning in the world. It’s not our fault. We have learned that this is the natural way of operating in the world. That it’s the only way.

Therefore, when we fall, we must realize that there is nothing wrong with us. We are not bad. We just haven’t learned that we have options.

If you don’t know where to start, I suggest that you start working on acceptance. This is a big step and I admit that, in it’s apparent simplicity and effortlessness, it’s often very difficult. Because we have a lot to unlearn and re-learn. But here’s the thing I want to stress over and over again: You are okay the way you are. You are okay the way you are. There is nothing wrong with you. You, just like me and everyone else, just lack the proper understanding. You don’t have to do anything about it. Everything is optional. You were created to love God and be loved by God. That’s it. Everything else is optional. You don’t have to do or be anything to deserve God’s love. And as long as we are ruled by our egos in any way, we are bound to make mistakes. It is what it is.

But once you can see yourself and your relationship with God, yourself, the world and the rest of humanity and everything else in a clearer light, maybe you can also start thinking of some logical steps that you want to take? Maybe you want to start prioritizing a bit? Or maybe you choose to do none of that, even though you know that you have a choice. God loves you either way though.

It’s so easy to get caught up in speculations about reality, religion and what all of this means, while ignoring the human condition. Which, ironically, is staring us straight in the face if we study what Jesus says. Sure, he mentions heaven, hell, prophecies and the likes. But all of this is open to interpretation. Many of his teachings regarding how to live and treat each other and ourselves are not however. They are often multi-faceted, but seldom difficult to understand.

We’ve been given a very complex machine to operate. A machine called the human body and brain.

Like any complex machine, the human brain and body have very specific ways of functioning. They have specific ways of interacting with their environment. Teaching how to do this is part of what I’m trying to do with my and my wife’s YouTube channel.

I furthermore suggest that you ask yourself the following question. What do we really know? I honestly don’t know the severity of the state of the world. I just know that I make the choice of trusting God rather than worldly authorities. And I make that choice every moment of every day. 

So, if you have a hard time not believing that we are not heading for a horrible, dystopian nightmare unless certain measures are taken, how much do you really know? Have you taken a careful look at the available data? Have you listened to those with an informed opinion that disagree with the views that are being presented in the mass media? Do journalists and politicians really deserve your trust? If you had someone that was continuously lying and manipulating you in your life, would you continue trusting that person? So why do that when it comes to politicians? What if it’s not out there in the world, but inside ourselves that the solutions lie? What if each and everyone of us will know what to do once we start looking in the right place?

The truth is that we might have to go through some hard times. But what’s in the future is very far from as certain as the doomsayers claim. And until we can work on cultivating a joyous spirit. The hard times will be easier then. 

Being both okay and not okay at the same time

I’ve been thinking about this idea that we have to learn to love ourselves lately. And I want to make some sense of it. Because in one sense we need to be friends with ourselves. We need to face where we are with as much acceptance as possible. If we just keep castigating ourselves over past mistakes the commentator inside our heads will become an enemy and a tyrant. And we don’t need more of those.

But it’s not good to ignore our flaws either. We in all likelihood need to be a bit harsh with ourselves. Because we have in all likelihood become too comfortable. The modern world does that to most of us. Unless we make conscious choices to not allow it. And the situation in the world today demands that we are everything that we can be. 

I believe that the love that we have for ourselves is the only one that, rightly, cannot be unconditional. This may sound a bit harsh, but I think that it’s only logical. At least if we talk about self-love in the true sense, and not the kind of narcissistic self-love that is often promoted in society today. This is because even though we have an endless capacity for self-deception, we still have potential access to everything inside of us. Everything that motivates our actions. And somewhere we know, even if that knowing never reaches the surface of our consciousness. We know when we are lazy. We know when we avoid confronting our problems. We know when we are selfish. We know when we are trying to manipulate others and the world, so that we get what we want without having to work for it. We know when we are making excuses and rationalization. And we know damned well that we, eventually, are the ones that are going to have to pay for it.

Most of us are not victims of circumstances. For the vast majority of us, the situations that we are in are direct consequences of our choices and actions. And our choices and actions are consequences of how we have take care of our inner lives. And our inner lives are greatly affected by our experiences, even though we have quite a lot of room when it comes to how we respond to our experiences. And our experiences are to a large degree determined by our choices and actions and the situations that they put us in. And so it goes. Around and around. And the wheel either takes us up or down. But it will always keep spinning. Less so if we’re in a stabile situation and don’t feel the need for much change. But even then it spins slowly. Because time always makes it spin no matter what. And even then something may happen that changes its direction and/or causes it to spin faster.

Then we have the situation in the world. It is causing many wheels to spin faster. And will do so even more in the future. 

This doesn’t necessarily have to move us downhill. Because when we’re pushed into a corner we have a choice of either lay down and let whatever is pushing us into the corner eat us. Or we can use every ounce of muscle and intelligence that we’ve got to fight. Thus we either perish or become stronger.

Here is where I am right now. I know where my choices have gotten me. I know that a storm is coming, even if I don’t know exactly when or what it will look like.

I also know that God will love me all the way through the storm. That he will love me when I am unable to. And I know that whatever pain comes in my way, it’s nothing compared to eternity with God. But that is not something that I’m likely to remember when tragedy strikes. 

This is actually quite interesting when you think about it. On the one hand, we have God, that loves us unconditionally and whose love we can never earn. And on the other we have ourselves, whose love we must earn. Both are closer to us than any other person or creature. And in between, we have all kinds of relationships with all kinds of conditionality attached to them. God is closer to us than we are to ourselves. And knows us better than we know ourselves. The second closest person in our lives is ourselves. And this is the person that never can love us unconditionally. Not in a true, healthy sense.

So here is what I’ve figured. As with most things in life, we need to take a step back and bring some consciousness into our self-perception. Most of us are not all that we could be. And we have to be cautious when it comes to the impulse to earn salvation. I mean this both in a literal and metaphorical sense. Our self-worth should never be contingent upon our accomplishments and failures. But we must also never sweep our shortcomings under the rug. If we don’t like everything about ourselves there’s probably a reason for it. If this is the case, it’s healthy to remind ourselves that we are worthy just by being part of the crown of God’s creation. But we also need to take a look at the parts that we don’t like about ourselves. 

Two very important questions to ask ourselves in this context, is: Is it my own standards that I don’t live up to? Or is it other people’s, the world’s or God’s?

We need to be as honest about this as possible and realize that these are huge and deep questions. The answers are, for the most part, far from obvious. We need to think deeply about why the standards matter to us.

Ultimately it’s God’s standards that we need to aim for. In other words, our standards should, as far as possible, be the same as God’s. But these are impossible standards and we are not expected to live up to them.

If, on the other hand, our standards are the world’s or other people’s, we can be more or less certain that they will lead us astray. It’s always a good thing to listen to the perspectives of people that have something valuable to teach us. But we should always do this with God’s will and not theirs in mind. 

So, we need to cultivate a healthy, mature and honest relationship with ourselves. If this is something that we find worthwhile, there are two crucial questions that we need to ask ourselves: Are we doing our best to live up to God’s standards? Can we accept and forgive ourselves when we inevitably fail to do so?

The EGO's attack on humility and how it hurts our progress

It seems like I get a slap pretty fast these days, when I start thinking that I’ve risen above petty struggles. When I’m not being honest with myself and others about my shortcomings. And this is the thing: there is no point denying reality. I have dealt with some of my problems. I am no longer afraid of challenges. I’ve dealt with my addictions, except food addiction, and I’ve done it “only” with the help of God. I’ve started to live relatively healthy, which means that I work out, meditate daily, work actively to fix my physical problems and eat mainly healthy food, even if I still frequently overeat. 

Lately, because I’ve truly started to see some improvement in my own life, I’ve started to become more of a positive influence in other people’s lives, a part of me has started to want to project an image of infallibility. This is of course false and inauthentic. But as with so many other behaviors that we engage in, it has happened unconsciously, because I haven’t been vigilant towards myself. 

But the truth is that I still have a poor self-control when it comes to quite a few things. I still get angry and frustrated when too many “bad” things happen at once. I still have financial issues, I have my dark thoughts, judgments, hangups and difficulties in social interactions. Just to name a few things. 

What I am thus beginning to notice, is that every time I start projecting this image of perfection, life smacks me in the face pretty hard. I get hit with one problem after the other. If I handle the first with dignity, another one comes along and so on, until I break down and curse my wretched life and existence itself.

There are of course other harsh lessons baked into these lessons. Usually it has to do with money or lack of self-control. But the overall theme is my unwillingness to be vulnerable and to be perceived as flawed.

A funny thing is that when I’ve opened up more about my issues, other people have reacted with nothing but positivity. In at least one case, the person that I have spoken to has even expressed gratitude over the fact that I’m willing to share the struggles that I’m still facing, even though I have my life much more in order now than just a few years ago. Just because I’m human doesn’t mean that I cannot offer important insights to others. It’s probably the opposite. Humans are messy and complicated. If someone seems to have things figured out, we probably don’t know the whole person. And if we are truly going to help someone else, we need connection. Otherwise we are just egos talking to egos. Again, we are not here to be perfect. We are here to be human. And the need to project an image of perfection does not make us more likable. It makes us less so. 

The need to prove ourselves DESTROYS confidence

If I’m present with myself, I can observe the energy behind what I’m saying. This might sound a little vague, but let me explain. 

As I’m getting more into contact with myself, my confidence grows and with it my speech changes when I interact with other people in different circumstances. I feel that I’m becoming more and more capable of handling the situations that arise in my life and I feel more and more like someone who actually knows what he’s doing. Not just someone that tries to make other believe this. Which has been how I’ve felt in the past. Even if I wouldn’t have admitted this to myself while it was going on. 

But something that has not gone away, which I’ve noticed lately, is my need to prove myself. It was stronger when I lacked real confidence. But it still lingers. When I observe the words that come out of my mouths, some of them are the same types of attempts at making others believe certain things about me. This neither confident nor powerful. It’s certainly not humble. And if I’m really observant, I can feel the energy shift when I go into this mode. Feel how I’m losing the person that I’m speaking to a bit.

What would be a more powerful approach? Well, to simply keep in mind that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. To be clear about my intention and focus on what’s important. To not I attach some importance to how other people view me as a person. Not because I need to prove that I’m intelligent, in control, strong, disciplined etcetera. Because I know that I have a genuinely confident side, which grows stronger and comes out more frequently the more I work on myself. The more challenges that I handle rather than run away from them. And when I act and speak from this side of myself, people tend to respond in a positive manner without me having to think of what impression I want to make.