Where do I want to go with the blog?

This is first and foremost a blog about God and our relationship with God. Because ultimately everything is about God. Because whether you believe in God or not, God exists, has created us, loves us and wants a relationship with us. This is something I know for a fact and it’s something that I feel called to share.

I want this blog to serve as a gentle reminder of this. That even though we are facing dark times, everything is in God’s hands and all will be well. I want to use whatever little voice that I can claim to try and remind people that there are many things to be hopeful about, but that I believe that our rulers, that definitely don’t want the best for us, want us to forget about. There is so much love and beauty in the world. We were made to love each other and to be loved by our creator. This is our natural state. And no matter how numb we have become by following the ways of the world, we can always find our way back to this state.

There are however are many things about faith that I don’t understand, even if every day for me is a search for more clarity. So even if I’m very confident that God exists, most other things I’m not so sure of. And I think that there must be a good reason for this. I’ve been blessed with experiences that have more or less completely removed my doubt about whether God or a spiritual reality exists. But I’ve also found myself in a very strange time in the planet’s history. A strange time that many people within religious and spiritual circles have very firm beliefs about. And a part of me wishes that I could too. Because I’m tired of the uncertainty and I sometimes think that maybe I should just stop resisting and get with the program. But there has to be some reason that I can’t do that.

Some of the questions that I have and wish to explore are: What exactly is the spiritual reality that I referred to in the last paragraph? What does God want us to do? What is the good life? What happens if we stray from the good life? What consequences do our actions have? Are there actions and behaviors that, while not being morally wrong, still are spiritually wrong? Why is it so damned hard to do the right things all the time? How can I reconcile spiritual beliefs that, at least on the surface, seem incompatible, but that I have felt called to, or found truth in? 

Questions such as these I wish to explore here. But I’ve sometimes felt like I’ve wandered too far into esoteric territories. I don’t think that there is something really wrong with it. But I think that the basics of life need to be somewhat in order first. Basics that I’ve just brushed aside as less important, even though in many ways it’s in our everyday experiences that magic happens, if we just allow it to. If we don’t just treat it as boring nonsense that we need to haste through, so that we can get on with the important stuff. It’s in our everyday lives that we learn who we are. And it’s in our everyday struggles we learn about our less admirable traits. 

Furthermore I’ve made a mess of many things in my life. Both in a way that creates many unwanted things in my life, such as debts and negative habits. And in ways that, even though I don’t believe in a judgmental God, keeps me separated from God. However, when it comes to this separation, I believe that almost all of us experience it to one degree or another. And I’ve also made a few rather good decisions too.

No matter what, I’m not ready to give up and just accept the limitations that my choices so far have placed upon my life. But I obviously don’t want my life to be just a waiting for tomorrow either. 

As a sidenote, I do believe that we live in a rather harsh, unforgiving world dominated by tons of rotten values. But the world isn’t going to change just because I want it to. I believe that it will change eventually. But only because we change. Therefore I have to change, but somehow doing it in a way where I don’t swallow the world’s corruption. And even get rid of the corruption that I have already invited into my life. 

I know that many people feel hopelessness right now. I don’t. Even though I see more or less pitch black clouds on the horizon and even though my everyday life is filled with issues and struggles, I’ve also been given many things to be hopeful about. I must believe that God has let me experience the things that I have experienced for a reason, even if my faith often is so weak that even rather small setbacks seriously discourage me. But as long as I don’t stay discouraged forever and get up again, I know somewhere that it’s going to be okay in the end. Life might not become the smooth ride that I hoped for a few years ago. But still, I know somewhere that there is something good on the horizon. I can’t believe that all of the strange things that have happened to me are for nothing. So when things start to move for real, I will have my journey documented on this blog, together with the insights that I’ve gained about the conditions of our being in the world. 

Hopefully this can serve both as an encouragement for others, as well as some food for thought. Because I’ve dug I bigger hole that I have to climb out of than most people. It’s not the worst hole in the world and I think that I can do it. But years of unconscious living tend to mess up one’s inner life as well as one’s outer life. And the outer is a reflection of the inner anyway, no matter if we believe that we literally manifest our reality with our thoughts and feelings, or just make choices that are in line with how our insides look. Regardless of metaphysics, if the inside is chaotic and unfocused, that’s how life tends to unfold. 

But I’ve done some major cleaning already. And more cleaning is happening every day. And just like the everyday stuff that I talked about in the beginning of the post, somehow the cleaning is part of the journey as well. It’s not just something that has to be done so that I can get on with the bigger, more important stuff. I need to love the now and look at it as just as meaningful as that which I believe awaits me in the future. Even though I truly believe that something amazing is awaiting me. Awaiting us: me, my wife, those friends, family and acquaintances and really really everyone on the planet that choose to reject what the rulers of this world have to offer.

If I’m wrong, those of you that follow me will at least have the opportunity to follow the train wreck as it happens. But there is not going to be a train wreck. There is some darkness right now. Both on a personal level and on a global level. This is also something that I may want to talk a bit about on the blog. But not in a doom and gloom kind of way. Because something better is coming. I know that whatever happens in the future we can get through it together, God is on our side and all will be well.

Photo by Evan Dennis on Unsplash

Using the word "God"

I’m spelling “God” with a capital “G” here, because I’m talking of “God” when it is used as a name and not as a regular noun. Some, like Jehovah’s witnesses, make it important to use the right name for God as well. And they may have a point. Namely that there, as with many other aspects of reality, may be some correspondence between how the spiritual world and the physical world work here. The correspondence would be that we almost always learn a person’s name before we get to know the person, even though it’s physically possible to get to know a person without knowing his or her name. 

But this is just speculations. And just as I find it problematic to make a clear distinction between the physical and the spiritual, I also find it problematic to draw straight lines between the two areas, where one can be assumed to work just the way the other one does.

What is not so much speculation, is the fact that labels carry certain connotations. For example, if we refer to God as “source”, it might imply more of an impersonal force that everything else flows out from. If God is, as I believe, intimately personal and wants to have a personal relationship with us, this label might lead us in the wrong direction. 

I have also heard the term “the universe” being used in a way that may or may not be interchangeable with “God”. It doesn’t seem to be used in directly the same manner, but still in ways similar, as an entity that is vastly bigger than us, that interacts with us, grants us wishes and teaches us lessons. This, for me, leads to a feeling of replacing God. Of attributing communication and willful actions from God to the universe.

There are of course other examples. But these are the most common that I have found in modern spirituality. And I don’t belong to the crowd of people that aspire to live in Christ, that condemn modern spirituality. I believe that there are valuable lessons in it from many of the thinker belonging to the category. But I think that God needs to be put in the proper place here, which is at the absolute centre. Because as the intimate, personal, and at the same time omni-potent, omni-present, eternal creator of everything, God is the beginning and the end-goal of all spirituality. God has to be. 

The Calling. Part 12

The world is slowly opening up again. So soon we will be back to normal, right? 

Now, I’m no economist. But if you have an already unstable world economy and you introduce a situation, where you shut down the whole of society so that one in five businesses have to declare bankruptcy as a direct consequence of it, take measures that deteriorate people’s mental health, thereby making them less productive and more prone to behavior that costs money for society, pay enormous sums of money to corporations that are going to “save” us and take all kinds of costly measures to handle the situation, make the biggest wealth transfer in history, from everyone else to the richest people on the planet, wouldn’t that have rather serious consequences? And shouldn't those that govern us know this, considering that they have access to all the best experts in all relevant fields? In light of this, do you really think that the actions of our leaders are simply due to fear and incompetence?

And an equally important question: When the consequences come, are you going to trust the people that made the decisions that created the mess, together with the only people that benefitted from the mess, to come up with the solution? 

As I’ve said in another post, I don’t know what I can say about this without being censored. But go to YouTube and search for “world” and “reset” if you want to know more about what I’m talking about. Russell Brand has made great videos about this.

This is not meant to spread fear. Everything is in God's hands and you are infinitely and eternally loved by God. But it's time to start thinking about who to put our faith and trust in. 

EVERYTHING is an interaction with God

EVERYTHING! How could it be otherwise? If God is omnipotent, omnipresent and eternal, how could it be otherwise? God speaks to us in every little minute detail of our lives. There are no coincidences.

The Calling. Part 12

It feels weird to say this out loud. But this awakening stuff, whatever it is, is definitely happening. The biggest event in the planet’s history is about to happen and it’s not just some elite club that is part of it. What is happening inside of many people, including myself, right now, is so huge that it will alter the course of history. Unless those that want to stop it manages to do so. And then they will be the ones altering the course of history instead.

I don’t know if the outcome of this is already predetermined or if our choices ultimately matter in the grander scheme of things. Some believe that they have the answers to these questions. I don’t. But now that I do know that, whatever else may be true, these spiritual awakenings are definitely happening, I also understand that it’s something very extraordinary that I and many others have the privilege of experiencing. Something that, as I asid, will alter the course of history.

I want you to pause for a second to reflect on what this actually means. If you are like me, your ego is probably still partially denying that this is happening. It might not feel as real as the maybe not so real reality that you have grown up to regard as the only reality. But this is absolutely real. And if it’s real, and there are people in the world that want it to go in another direction, they would want to stop it.

So, if you’re not going through an awakening yourself, please just ponder the idea that this awakening is actually happening. Couldn’t what is happening in the world right now, where our rights are rapidly being taken away. Where those that have awakened are also the same people that see dangers with the solution to Voldemort (the one that cannot be named), refuse to take it and therefore systematically separated from the rest of society.

The Calling. Part 11

While, as I said in the last post, I believe Christianity holds the key to this reality, I don’t believe that it should exclude learning from other religions. I know for example that the Chakra system of Hinduism is real. I also know that the Buddha said something important, when he said that the root causes of suffering are attachment and aversion. God built these things into our experience of reality. 

There is in general a whole energy system inside, that we can access just by paying attention to it. How could this be wrong? What I’ve come to realize, is that if the Bible gives a clear no no to something, we should listen to it. But the idea that we should try to discern prohibitions that aren’t explicit in the Biblical texts I believe are erroneous. If it, for one reason or another, is important that we don’t do something, I think this will be very explicit in the Bible and if we look at its effect on our lives, it should be pretty clear why as well.

The Calling. Part 10

So, why Christianity and not other religions? I think that the answer is to be found in the person Jesus. His life and example. I believe that he provided a blueprint for how to live in this world. 

At the same time, I’m starting to suspect that there is truth to the statement that we live in multiple dimensions simultaneously. And in other dimensions we might interact with reality in a different way, even if everything is connected. But the best way of interacting with this dimension was exemplified by Jesus.

The Calling. Part 9

It is as if a puzzle is being laid now. That is the best way of explaining it. Many different people get their piece of the truth. Maybe some people get the same piece and maybe all of those people are not going to reach the public with what they are finding out. I don’t know. Maybe, for one reason or another, the pieces of truth are not coming through without interference. Maybe they are distorted somehow. I don’t know.

The Calling. Part 8

WARNING: This is my intellect trying to understand something that it probably cannot understand.

Let’s look at the situation in the world without using any trigger words that may overstep the boundaries of what the new form of free speech that has grown out of our situation ;) allows. And I’m going to start by playing the devil’s advocate for a bit. It’s possible that the situation is more dangerous than we are lead to believe. That would explain the extreme measures that are being taken. But I don’t think that this is very likely, since anything that induces more fear would make people more prone to go for the proposed solution. But if there is some foul-play at work, why doesn’t the propaganda machine say that it’s worse than it is? I’ve thought about this for a while and there seems to be a logical reason. Namely that if the lies were too obvious, someone that knew what he or she was talking about would react to it. And if that happened, the rest might come down as well.

The Calling. Part 7

I know about all the crazy religious talk out there. And I’m seriously not interested in joining the choir that sings about satanic armies of transgender super soldiers. The truth is that I know very little. I only wish to speak of things that I can’t deny and not allow my mind to fly into a bunch of paranoid speculations.

At the same time, I do see that there must be an agenda behind what is happening with all the craziness in the world. In one way or another, the situation in the world is not the way we are told.

The Calling. Part 6

I’m still in a ton of doubt about this myself. But when I look at my own, rather extreme experiences, and what is going on in the world, it seems to ad up. I constantly ask myself if me and my wife are going crazy. If we’ve been caught up by some romantic idea of a post-apocalypse life or the need for feeling special. Or the ego-boost of having access to information or insights that most people don’t. Because both me and my wife are human. And as such, we share many human weaknesses that other people carry. But I know what I’ve experienced. And I’m seeing more and more people that are saying that things are not what they seem with the things that are happening right now. And in a little over a week, I’ve heard four people, independent of each other, talking about the end times and The Book of Revelations. And it’s not because I hang around with people that do nothing but talk about the Bible the whole day. I don’t know any such people. I suspect that I probably should though.

The Calling. Part 5.

I’ve been stalling long enough. So, here we go:

What came to me, was that we are really living in the end times. End time prophecies are being fulfilled right this moment. The prophecies of The Book of Revelation are coming true right now, in our time. 

What might seem paradoxical in this context, is that what also has come to me several times, is that all is well. We’re not here to be judged, but to be healed. Some healing might be painful though, as some of our wounds are severely infected. But we’re all in the end returning to our relationship with God, the way God intends for it to be.

The Calling. Part 4

I’m one of those people going through a spiritual awakening. There are really crazy things happening inside me and with my perception of reality. And I seem to get messages from God in different ways. Crazy, right? If I didn’t have my wife and other people around me to confirm that this is actually happening, plus the testimony from various other people that I have never met, I would be the first one to call the psychiatric clinic and have me committed.

The Calling. Part 3.

On the other hand - look at the world. Does everything seem right to you? Does it seem as if you are getting the whole story? Does the measures taken to stop Voldemort (the one that cannot be named), with the coercion, constraints, censorship and so on seem proportional to what we know about the situation? And isn’t it strange that this happens just when many people are starting to report that they are going through spiritual awakenings that turn their whole lives upside down? Awakenings that make us see ourselves completely differently, and see glimpses of the power within us that we can access when we connect with God on the inside?

The Calling. Part 2.

I am truly afraid of talking about this. Because I know how crazy it sounds and that most people that talk about this are labelled as religious nuts. And I believe that I’m for the most part a fairly open minded person, with an above average capacity for critical thinking and introspection. And I do have my doubts about this, I must confess. But as time goes, I seem to get more and more signs that I’m supposed to write what I’m about to write. So, I might be caught up in strange fantasies. I might even be going crazy. Then again, if it is so, then a lot of other people are going crazy right now as well.

The Calling. Part 1.

I had a strange experience on Saturday the 4^th in December 2021. I was laying in bed next to my wife when my thoughts wandered to all the non-Christians that are talking about their spiritual awakenings, when it struck me that we don’t have to be Christians to be called to Jesus. That all those that go through this are being called directly by God. Most of them just don’t understand this yet (This will probably anger both Christians and New Agers ;)).

As these thoughts entered my mind, I experienced something that I best can describe as fear of God and being shaken to the core of my soul. It was a very physical feeling, as if a storm went through my whole body. I also experienced several conflicting emotions at once and I’m going to try to give an account of them that is as accurate and honest as possible, while knowing that words cannot convey what it was even close to full extent. I might even be labelling the emotions wrongly, because I only have access to my erroneous memory. But the emotions, as far as I can remember them, were deep joy and grief at the same time, with tears flowing from both. It was a feeling of being utterly terrified and safe and held at the same time. I felt that I was completely at the mercy of God. A god that could end my life and do anything he pleased with me. And yet, I knew that this god loved me more than I could ever imagine.

All of this lasted for less than a minute, but it shook me to my core. Afterwards I was in shock and awe and insights that I cannot deny, at the same time as I don’t fully dare to believe them, came over me.

When God answers and we keep on asking

A while back I asked God about a private matter. I received a pretty clear answer and yet I kept on asking. I honestly didn’t consciously forget about the answer. But since I wasn’t pleased with it, I was probably not that keen on remembering either. 

Now I’m going to do my best to remember God’s answer and live by it till God gives me a reason to do otherwise. Unless I forget the answer again.