I tend to lose the original question when I talk sometimes

I guess this happens from time to time for everyone and that next to no one is unaware of it. But I think that it deserves some conscious thought. I think that this goes for all things that everyone does in communication for that by the way. And the thing is, that the last time it happened, I sort of went into a lecture about things that I knew and my thoughts about it, rather than what the people I was speaking to actually wanted to know. Luckily, it was a pretty interesting subject that I happen to know a few things about. So I don’t think that I bored them or anything. But still…

I talk too much. Part 6

There is an automatic way of functioning in this. I talked about speech patterns in an earlier part of the series. I’m triggered to speak this way by topics that interest me. I often do feel that I have something to say that might be beneficial to someone else in some way. But there is also often a component of feeling a need to impress others with my knowledge on a topic. Or I want to make myself understood in one way or another. As I said, these patterns are triggered automatically. It might be because I have a hard time being fully present in conversations. Maybe being present in conversations is what I have to practice first and foremost?

I talk too much. Part 5

When I engage in unconscious talking, judgments of other people often creep in as well. And yeah, I know “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of”. I know that. And I know that I judge people in my thoughts. But it’s even harder to control one’s thoughts than one’s words. So if I hope to stop judging people in my mind, a good first step ought to be to stop doing it in my words. When I’m not guarding my mouth and someone that I for one reason or another hold a judgment over becomes the topic of conversation, I find myself saying things that I promised myself that I would never say about someone. Having formulated this clearly for myself, I hope that I will be able to change it.

I talk too much part 4

How can I become more conscious of my speech? I guess that one way might be to get away from thinking about how others perceive my speech, and into thinking about who I’m being with the way I speak. Because if I act like what I have to say is more important than what everyone else has to say, what does that say about me?

I talk too much part 3

As with everything else that is dysfunctional in one’s life, too much talking is mainly a matter of unconsciousness. At least for me. I’ve on certain topics acquired a habit of speaking in a way appropriate for a lecturer. As a matter of fact, I have in general acquired quite an impressive sets of patterns for how I speak, that emerge as soon as I’m not conscious of what I’m saying or how I’m saying it.

I talk too much part 2

I can’t really say that I love the sound of my own voice. But I sure act like it sometimes. When I get going on a subject that I’m passionate about, there is no stopping me. I sometimes, quite often actually, do have some worthwhile things to say and now and then I manage to say something funny that make people laugh. So I’m not one of those people (thank God I’m not one of those people! ;)) that go on for hours about things that no one is interested in. But I do brag sometimes, I ask too few questions, hold monologues, don’t listen properly and I often catch myself waiting for my turn to speak when someone else is talking.

I talk too much part 1

Why is it so hard to STFU!? 

I started to realize that I’m not in control of my thoughts somewhere in my early twenties, even though I didn’t begin to undestand to what extent that this was true until my mid thirties.

But I’m still in control of what I’m saying, right? If I truly believe that, have I ever consciously observed myself when I’m speaking?