Everything unwanted stays till we learn

In many ways we can forget about the world that can be analyzed through the five senses and laws of physics. When we start to observe our lives and the patterns in them, we notice that there are so many things happening beneath the surface. A saying in spiritual circles is “whatever you resist persists”. While I believe that this is true in one sense, I also believe that it’s a simplification. Because what does it mean to resist something? Or what does the opposite mean: to let go and/or accept? Can we truly let go and accept something while ignoring the lesson it’s trying to teach us?

I’ve several times talked about how life is a constant interaction with God. I’ve also asked the question: How could it be otherwise, if God is omnipotent, omnipresent and deeply personal? 

I know that a clarification is needed, in a discussion such as this one. I’m talking about my experience and probably the experiences of many other people. But I also know that there are many people in the world whose circumstances are completely out of their control and that seem to bring them nothing but suffering. Therefore this first and foremost applies to those that are born in relatively affluent countries. Though I believe that the world is ruled in an unjust way, by throughly ruthless people, those of us that are born where no one has to starve, are for the most part responsible for our circumstances, even if this should not be equated with blame. Because most of us also have been brought up in an education system that does not teach us true self-reliance. But we do have the ability to listen to what God is trying to teach us and make the decision to take charge or our lives and learn what we need to learn to function in this world. I believe that almost all people in relatively affluent countries have the ability to do so. Everyone in the world isn’t able to. But for most of us, it is our own choices that have gotten us where we are, even though we probably weren’t aware that we were making a choice, when we chose things that led to unwanted results.

So, if the less desirable situations in our lives, are really God trying to teach us something, maybe the best things to do is to listen and make the necessary changes?

One example from my own life is my job. It’s not my dream job. And I felt tons of resistance towards getting it. But now that I’ve been there for over a year, I’ve learned to make the best of a less than ideal situation. For example, now that I can do most of the tasks on auto-pilot, I can listen to audiobooks more or less during the whole workdays. I’ve learned to trust myself and become much more confident. And having a steady income has given me some breathing space, allowing me to more freely explore those things that I really want to do, in spite of having less time on my hands.

I’ve learned to be much more present in what I do and to think about the things that I’m engaged in. I’ve most definitely learned that I’m not the only person in the world that screws up sometimes. That it’s okay to do so as long as I take responsibility for it. I’ve learned to appreciate people that have chosen to live very different lives from my own. And lastly, I’ve learned to have a good work ethic that goes far beyond what is expected of me. To consciously choose to work hard and focused not just because I want to keep my job, but because of a sense of duty and because I believe that it ultimately will make me a better person.

It’s not where I want to work forever, but I know that I have a few lessons left to learn. Lessons relating to trusting myself, fully accepting where I am, living in the now and not rely on external circumstances for my happiness. And I know that when I can quit and go do what I really want to do, there are lots of things that I’m going to miss about my job. 

What I’m talking about here seems to be a fundamental part of the structure of reality. I know that you could argue back and forth about what seems to be and what actually is. When I look a little deeper at the unwanted in my life, there always seems to be lessons in it. But maybe it’s just because we always can find something to learn from our experiences. If so, that's fine. It shows how important perspective is. 

Then again, people and circumstances don’t seem to have come into my life at random. Even if I wanted to, I could not write off everything that happens in my life as mere coincidences. Me and my wife have had experiences that definitely fall under the category “supernatural”. And as the years have passed, I've become thoroughly convinced us of the existence of God. With these things in mind, I think that there is a pretty good case to be made for the idea that the meaning that I’m talking about, isn’t just in my head. If you wish to delve a little deeper into this, you could check out what is known as “synchronicities”, which was something that for example Carl Jung observed. 

If I’m going to try to explain how I think that this actually work, I believe that everything is divinely orchestrated somehow. I believe that God’s hand is present in everything, so that what we need in order to grow is brought into our lives somehow. As I said in the second paragraph, it’s probably not the same for everyone. I believe that in a sense, I’m the main character in my show, but that you also are the main character in yours. In someone else’s show, I might be anything from a second lead, to just one of thousands of small extras that flash by briefly. And God is the grand director of everything.

The stage is of course a metaphor for something that words cannot fully describe. But hopefully it can give you some idea of how I see it and how our learning experiences fit into all of this. Because, as you may know, in basically every good work of fiction, the main character transforms as the story progresses.

What happens with the lessons after we die I don’t know. But I believe that they are among the few things that we take with us to the afterlife, in one form or another, whether it’s one afterlife or the next in a series of afterlives. 

Therefore I believe that one of the main reasons for us to be here, is so that we can learn and grow. We’re probably here for a lot of other things as well, but this is definitely one of them. And we can kick and scream and become angry at life for not giving us a smooth ride. I’ve done my fair share of this and I still do sometimes. But life and the world has never even once changed because I’ve become angry at them. Not once. And yet, it’s hard to not feel offended when we have to face one thing after another that we don’t want to deal with. But I believe that the sooner we can adopt a perspective where we see our hardships as part of the learning experience and as part of the adventure, the sooner we can learn the lessons and move on to more of that which we do want in our lives.

Photo by Joe Zlomek on Unsplash

The value of mystical experiences

Are mystical experiences just spiritual “kicks” that ultimately lead us nowhere? Or are they maybe an encouragement to keep going on our spiritual paths? Do they bring us closer to God in some sense? Do they have other functions?

Before moving on, I want to clarify that I don’t believe that mystical experiences are necessary for living a rich spiritual and/or religious life. We can live and grow with God through prayer, through consciously allowing God to be with us in our everyday lives or through meditation, for example, without anything extraordinary happening. 

There is a discussion to be had about what constitutes a mystical experience. It could basically be anything from an ecstatic union with God to the simple feeling that an everyday event holds some meaning beyond the actual experience.

In this context though, I wish to talk about experiences that constitute a significant shift, away from our ordinary way of perceiving life and the world. 

An interesting thought in this context, is that dr. Joe Dispenza writes in his book Becoming Superhuman, that mystical experiences alter our way of functioning, because they expand our realm of possibilities. Once we see that there are ways of seeing and experiencing that go beyond our normal state, they become in a sense part of our overall experience. They expand our idea of the possible.

Another writer, James Defranco, says that through these experiences we move ourselves out of our normal frames that we experience the world from, and by doing so we dissolve rigid thought patterns. What does this mean? When we start noticing that we do not just have habits in our outer lives, but also with regards to our inner lives, it’s easier to understand what this means. Our minds have habitual ways of functioning. And when something happens that brings us out of our normal ways of operating, it becomes easier to start thinking in novel ways and thus see things from new and more expanded perspectives.

I would also add that these experiences, while not necessary, adds encouragement and reassurance that God is with us. As such they should be treasured as the gifts they are. And I would see it as more or less a duty to use these experiences to help others in their spiritual lives. 

Is reality an illusion?

When I started to understand the concept of reality being an illusion, there was something that clicked in me. It is in line with what some of the great spiritual masters have been saying. For example, the Indian mystic Ramana Maharshi had a spontaneous awakening, where he basically saw that everything was generated by his own mind. 

Before continuing, I wish to interject something that I’ve said before: Once you realize beyond any doubt that reality is more than we can perceive with the five senses, anything becomes possible. Keep this in mind as you read. And why not ponder the implications of this.

A while back, I had a similar experience, where I still was me, in my body, but there was no absolute separation between me and the rest of the world. My wife was with me, and I could on a deep, undeniable level feel that in a sense she was me. 

In connection with this, one person after the other that I read or listen to, has talked about how everything is energy and frequencies and that we just decode those energies and frequencies in a way that let us perceive them as, well… as the reality that we perceive. I think that this is also why, if we enter into an altered state of consciousness, we cannot just alter our visual perception of reality, without also altering our perspective on- and thoughts about it. But I’m not exactly sure of how this works. If it can even be put into words.

What all of this seems to mean, is quite paradoxical. But life is full of paradoxes once you’ve started to look beneath the surface. The paradox here is that in one sense, we are completely alone in the world. And in another sense, we are connected with everyone and everything. 

What this means exactly I haven’t really figured out. I will probably write more about it as I think about it more. There is the classical double slit experiment, that demonstrate how at least elements of reality change by being observed. This at least proves that there is some sort of interaction that goes beyond mere perception, when we observe something. You can easily look it up on the internet if you want to find out more. 

Could God be both personal and impersonal?

And could this be so without one aspect being higher than the other?

Among many Eastern mystics, it seems as for many of them, the personal relationship with God is used as a stepping stone on our way towards an impersonal union, where everything is just love. But what if both are equally important? As far as I can tell, the Christian mystics seem to agree on this. If you look at for example John of the Cross, it is pretty clear that he talks about ecstatic experiences of love that transcend words. But it is equally clear that he sees his relationship with God as an intimately personal one. 

This is also what my own experiences tell me. I’ve had one experience which only lasted for a couple of seconds, of absolute, wordless love. But in prayer, I’ve also had a few, in some sense equally significant experiences, when I have had a knowing that far surpassed an intellectual one, that God listened to- and cared for what I said. These experiences have been equally filled with love, awe and tears. Sadly it was a while since I felt this in prayer and I miss it. But I keep on praying anyway.

And then I have the feeling that God is with me and communicates with me through my experiences throughout the day. These are by far my most common experiences. I might see and hear something that seems to not be just a coincidence. Maybe a thought pops up in my head and then I see or hear something that relates to that thought a moment later. Sometimes this is accompanied by the feeling that something shifts. Now that I think of it, the feeling reminds me a bit of when someone turns towards me, speaks to me with all his attention focused on me. 

As said in the beginning, when you read many Eastern mystics, it seems as if this personal relationship is less than this impersonal one. That it, in some sense, isn’t really real. But what if these are two sides of the same coin. One intimate, particular and personal and one limitless and universal. There seems to be an infinite aspect to both these types of relationship. In both, God is in a sense infinitely close to us, but in oposite ways. Maybe this can actually be seen in relation to the microcosmos and the macrocosmos. The universe is, at least according to many scientist, bot infinitely big and infinitely dividable. 

One common interpretation of the phrase: “as above, so below”, supposedly coined by the mystic Hermes Trismegistus, is that everything is connected with everything else, in the sense that you can learn the nature of all by studying the nature of one thing. And that two opposite poles share an intimate connection with each other. 

The creator of the universe actually listens when we speak to him

That’s the little secret of prayer. To remember who you are talking to. And that he actually listens. 

A while back I noticed that when I consciously directed my prayer towards God something happened. Something very significant. Namely that I understood this on a level that far exceeded an intellectual understanding. I understood it at the core of my being, at the deepest emotional level possible. I could actually feel God listening to me.

My creator, the eternal, omnipotent, omnipresent creator of everything, in whose hands everything rests and who loves me infinitely and knows me infinitely more deeply than I know myself, actually listens to me when I pray. 

After this my prayers changed for a while. They became more meaningful. More real.

But since then, I’ve gotten caught up in daily life again. I’ve stressed through prayers and they have often turned into words without substance. I think that I actually in a sense forgot that God is with me. Not on an intellectual level of course. I can never fully forget what I’ve experienced. My experiences have been so strong and undeniable, that I can’t ever give in fully to doubt. 

But there is another forgetfulness here. One that I cannot really put my finger on. It has something to do with the temporal vs the eternal. Where I simply get caught up in my ego and forget what is really important. 

This blog post became something completely different from what I had planned. But I just realized that this has been coming back to me over and over again. I think that this is what is meant by “being in the world, but not of it”. We do have a physical experience. But really we are always walking with God for eternity, here and now. And life is meant to be a continual prayer and interaction with God. Adam really walked with God, but as we fell deeper and deeper into our intellects, God became more and more distant. But it’s not going to be like that forever.

Everyday life and the spiritual life are one

I’ve noticed that many mystically inclined people tend to frown upon more “regular church goers” or their equivalents in other religious traditions. And many of those church goers for their part, seem to look at mystics with some suspicion. As if mystics somehow operate outside the boundaries of acceptable religion and thereby associate themselves with dark forces. 

What I’ve come to realize is that most of us need a little bit of both. Some of us might be more inclined towards just being good people that strive to follow Jesus in our everyday lives. While others might sit in meditation, experiencing higher realities throughout most of their days. But for most of us, I think our spiritual needs are best being met by being somewhere on a scale between these two extremes. Most of us can’t have mysticism without the everyday-part. Because our everyday lives are spiritual lives. We don’t just meet God in meditation, yoga, contemplation, prayer, the reading of sacred scriptures and other spiritual practices. We also meet God in our everyday lives. We meet God in our interactions with other people. We meet God when we share meals, work or when we go to the gym. 

But most of us also need to truly feel a connection with God that goes beyond mere belief. For some it can be to simply see a deeper meaning in events in their daily lives, where others just see random accidents, while for others it can be experiences of total bliss and ecstasy as they completely let go of the world and merge with God. Or anything in between. 

I believe that there is a reason why Jesus focused so heavily on ethics and why the more mystical aspects of of his teachings were toned down or veiled in symbolism or allegory. If we don’t allow our spiritual experiences to shape us as individuals, our character and how we conduct ourselves in our everyday lives, these experiences become empty. But we also want to avoid that our lives become consumed by dry, spiritless legalism, that many of the pharisees served as a warning against. 

I believe that this is ultimately a question of the importance of letting the brain and the heart work together. 

Different layers of reality and attention

Everything is the same energy. We just decode it on different levels. The higher levels are just as real that this physical level and can be perceived as such. We have just focused exclusively on the five sense, physical reality our whole lives, which is why we mainly or completely perceive it as real. The more we focus on other levels, the more we will perceive them. What you focus on grows. You can, for example, start focusing more on what goes on in the body. When you feel the energies that run through it constantly, focus more on them. You will see how they are connected to the the outer reality and how there is no sharp distinction between you and everything else. What you focus on grows.

All is one

I’m going to try and make sense of this in some way. I had an experience the other day where I was still in my body. And yet, I couldn’t tell where I began and ended. This has sort of lingered with me. When I meditate, my sense of boundaries fades pretty fast. Just if I close my eyes and stay focused, so that I don’t drift away into thoughts about the past or future, I feel this. The funny thing is that I’m not at all afraid of losing my identity, the way I was when I heard about this type of state. I’m still me. But I’m also one with everything else. 

Teachings outside the Bible? Part 1

This is something that troubles me quite a lot. I feel called to Christ. I can’t deny that this is where my experiences have been pointing me. This, I believe, means that I have to take everything in the Bible seriously. But I also cannot deny that my experiences have led me into territories far outside of conventional Christianity.

Being as honest as I possibly can, I find certain attitudes about religion and spirituality troublesome. Among them are the attitude that says that like from a smorgasbord, we can just pick and choose anything we like from different spiritual traditions, that we can do whatever we want without consequences and that discard anything that we don’t like. But I also find the view that everything that comes from religions outside of Christianity is the work of the Devil equally troublesome. Furthermore And the idea that sinners will suffer for an eternity, I find most troublesome of all ideas.

I noticed that I find lots of ideas troublesome. But at the end of the day, since I have no right to decide for anyone but myself and I’m no authority on truth, they are mainly troublesome as far as my personal relationship with them goes

Anyway, when it comes to the ideas about the Devil and hell, I have not found anyone giving a real argument as to why this would be necessary. All I see is other statements presented as arguments, such as that it has to be this way to motivate us not to sin, or that God also has to be a just God. I mean, why would we have to have punishment to motivate us to not do what’s best for us? Aren’t the inevitable negative consequences of sin, the ones that play out either in our inner or outer life right here and now, whether we are aware of it or not, enough of a punishment? And what kind of justice is there in eternal torment?

But there might be something here that I don’t understand. The more I struggle with the Bible, and spirituality and religion in general, the more I’m forced to confront the limitations of my own thinking. And if I’m wrong about the incompatibility between a good God and eternal punishment, I sincerely want to know about it so that I can change my beliefs. But I won’t take any sloppy argument, that often isn’t an argument at all, as proof that I am.

But I can not walk around in fear of every unsubstantiated claim that someone makes. If I sound a bit angry when I talk about unsubstantiated claims in this context, it is because I am. Even for someone with a fairly developed capacity for critical thinking, it is difficult to always apply this to all input that we are confronted with. Especially input that triggers fear. And on the other hand, if there is something to the claim presented to us, we might discard it altogether, if the person presenting the claim does a sloppy work with it. In this case, the claim, if I try to present it to the best of my ability, be: “There is one true religion, one true religious worldview and anything that comes from other religions, that cannot directly be found in this religion and religious world view will lead me away from the only right and true path.”

Having laid this groundwork, I will explore this more deeply in the next blog post on the topic.