The more I let go, the better my life seems to work

Life is full of distractions. Have you noticed that? The world is full of things that occupy our minds. Things that we attach importance to. And the more we hold on to those things, the more messy things get. I feel that I’ve gone through some sort of shift with this lately. But be that as it may, tomorrow I may very well be caught up in all of the little petty problems of life again. 

And that is what they are. Petty problems. Petty concerns. Petty needs. Petty wants. This is what we all so easily get caught up in. Things have to be a certain way for us to be happy. And we worry about a tomorrow that we know nothing about. 

What should I eat? What should I drink? Will I be able to pay my bills? Will I be able to put food on the table? 

And these are real concerns for many people. From a global perspective, it’s real concerns for most people. But is it for me? Is it for you? Would it really have to be for anyone, if each and every one of us took responsibility for getting our priorities straightened out? I'm obviously not talking about being perfect at this. Just about bringing some consciousness into such matters.

This is the world that we are creating together. And uneven distribution seems to be built into the way that life itself functions. Because more or less everywhere, both in the human and animal world, resources seem to be unevenly distributed. And there seems to be no political solutions to this. The only difference between left and right seems to be how the inequality arises. In liberal, capitalist systems we get an uneven distribution through the market. In socialist systems the political class, and/or those that have so much money that they can pay their way out of any regulations, get the biggest share.

And we often seem to make things worse with loads of mindless doing. Mindless doing that is intended to solve our problems. But that instead push things in the opposite direction from what we say that we want.

Why am I talking about this? Because there is a place where we haven’t looked for solutions yet. At least not on a larger scale. This might also be the place that truly separates us from the rest of the creation.

This place is within. What good could that possibly do? Well, we’ve tried everything else and the world is still in chaos. More so than ever. At least during the past few years. Even though, materially speaking, life is better than ever. 

There seems to be a false and a true personality inside of us. The false one is more or less what is usually referred to as the ego. This false personality is governed by instincts. And it has all these requirements that it needs to have fulfilled in order for life to be good. Those requirements are not something that we have chosen consciously. We have just more or less randomly reacted to the external world. 

Maybe if we take a step back and start to figure ourselves out a bit, instead of running around frantically trying to solve everything that we perceive as wrong, we might actually be able to do something good. If we start separating what is false from what is true inside ourselves. Because maybe there is some truth to the statement: “As within, so without”. 

And to make it clear, we are part of something so much grander that our little thoughts cannot begin to comprehend it. And yet we are so caught up with our thinking. I don’t know exactly what is happening in the world. Only that it’s big. Really big. 

And even if I did find all of the answers that I’m seeking, I’m more or less certain that I could not describe it in words. I know that life and the world are so much more than we can comprehend with the five senses. I know that whatever it is, we are going through some sort of shift on the planet right now. I also know that it has something to do with the Bible and Biblical prophecies. But I also know that I and everyone else only have begun to scratch the surface of things. 

Something that I’ve learned through experience, is that we are all connected through some sort of energy field that runs through us all. And the more I say yes to my experience and stop resisting what is happening in the present moment, the more I can feel it. In other words, the more I let go, the better things get. The more I stop demanding that the world gives me what I want, the more blessing I receive freely. 

So maybe it’s time to stop worrying and start trusting. I’m saying this as much to myself as to everyone else. If we truly believe in God, that God is who he says he is and that everything is in God’s hands, maybe we also need to adopt an attitude that matches this belief. This goes for both our personal issues, as well as the global problems that we are facing today. Maybe if we start looking within and just stop doing the things that we know we should stop doing, this will be enough. Maybe solutions to what seems to be out of our control will present themselves effortlessly. Without the need for a tyranny and forced compliance. 

Maybe what we need is not more force, but more letting go. More focus on the essential, while we ignore what is unimportant or out of our control. And I don’t know about you, but when I look at my days I find so much junk that occupies my awareness. Where would I be today, if I had determined to not allow these things to distract me? Where would you be? Where can we be in a year, if we decide this right now? In ten years?

NON-RESISTANCE and the BEAUTY of life

Life can be so beautiful when we seize with the activity for a little while and take the time to just stop and experience what is. I suggest that you pause reading this blog post and take the time to just listen to Antonín Dvořák’s Serenade for Strings in E Major. It should be the first song that comes up if you search his name on Spotify. And why not listen to the song that comes afterwards while you’re at it

Just listen without thinking that you have to be somewhere. Do something. Just be there with what is and take in without resisting or holding on to anything. This is God speaking through a person. And if you are calm, quiet and silent, you can hear God’s voice. Here and now can be so filled with beauty, joy, wonder and love. But we miss it when we resist what we don’t want or grasp for what we don’t have. And the thing is that the real game is an inner game. 

We are always in some form of activity. Thoughts are an activity. And most thoughts are on auto-pilot. Fear and anxiety are activity. When we feel fearful and anxious something moves inside us. And we either resist it or try to find an outlet for it. Both of these options are activity. But we also have the option of just being still. Of just accepting what is. The secret here is that we don’t have to do anything. We feel that we have to do something. Because we have been conditioned to think that we always have to do something. That our egos have to step in and try to fix the situation. But the thing is that we are connected to something so much more powerful. We are connected with God, the almighty. But if we want God to work through us, we must drop the illusions. We must seize with the ego’s endless activities. The little me, the one that really is nothing, merely an illusion, needs to step aside. God is infinite love. Infinite energy. And at the same time, God is also infinitely intimate and personal. This is another secret. You cannot have the infinitely big without the infinitely small. As above, so below. This is the beauty of oneness and duality. To be able to experience oneness in a meaningful way, you first need duality. But this has to be experienced to be understood. I’m not sure that I completely understand it myself. 

The more I can just live in this acceptance and gratitude for what is, the more joy I find in just being. When I for example just allow myself to be overwhelmed by a piece of classical music, without any resistance or need for things to be a certain way, I can find a wellspring of overflowing love and joy inside of me, that just wants to burst forth when nothing hinders it anymore. 

To conclude: I hope you enjoyed this text. I let it flow from the spirit that I’m talking about throughout it. Maybe it doesn’t make sense. Maybe it does. It’s always hard to put powerful experiences into words so that others can understand them. But to me, what I have written here is one of my most important insights. Everything is about letting go. About living in gratitude of what is good, instead of resistance towards the unwanted, or longing for what is not. It’s about taking action from a divine place instead of from the ego. It’s about allowing life to unfold joyfully through oneself, instead of forcing life to comply with the demands of the ego. It’s the easiest and hardest thing to do, both at the same time. All we have to do is to not resist what is. If you understand this correctly, you understand that this is not a ticket to complacency. What it is, is about acting because we truly want to, and not because we feel that we have to. In every little infinitesimal moment in life, we are give the choice of resisting or not resisting. When we don’t resist, everything flows with joyful effortlessness.

Where do I want to go with the blog?

This is first and foremost a blog about God and our relationship with God. Because ultimately everything is about God. Because whether you believe in God or not, God exists, has created us, loves us and wants a relationship with us. This is something I know for a fact and it’s something that I feel called to share.

I want this blog to serve as a gentle reminder of this. That even though we are facing dark times, everything is in God’s hands and all will be well. I want to use whatever little voice that I can claim to try and remind people that there are many things to be hopeful about, but that I believe that our rulers, that definitely don’t want the best for us, want us to forget about. There is so much love and beauty in the world. We were made to love each other and to be loved by our creator. This is our natural state. And no matter how numb we have become by following the ways of the world, we can always find our way back to this state.

There are however are many things about faith that I don’t understand, even if every day for me is a search for more clarity. So even if I’m very confident that God exists, most other things I’m not so sure of. And I think that there must be a good reason for this. I’ve been blessed with experiences that have more or less completely removed my doubt about whether God or a spiritual reality exists. But I’ve also found myself in a very strange time in the planet’s history. A strange time that many people within religious and spiritual circles have very firm beliefs about. And a part of me wishes that I could too. Because I’m tired of the uncertainty and I sometimes think that maybe I should just stop resisting and get with the program. But there has to be some reason that I can’t do that.

Some of the questions that I have and wish to explore are: What exactly is the spiritual reality that I referred to in the last paragraph? What does God want us to do? What is the good life? What happens if we stray from the good life? What consequences do our actions have? Are there actions and behaviors that, while not being morally wrong, still are spiritually wrong? Why is it so damned hard to do the right things all the time? How can I reconcile spiritual beliefs that, at least on the surface, seem incompatible, but that I have felt called to, or found truth in? 

Questions such as these I wish to explore here. But I’ve sometimes felt like I’ve wandered too far into esoteric territories. I don’t think that there is something really wrong with it. But I think that the basics of life need to be somewhat in order first. Basics that I’ve just brushed aside as less important, even though in many ways it’s in our everyday experiences that magic happens, if we just allow it to. If we don’t just treat it as boring nonsense that we need to haste through, so that we can get on with the important stuff. It’s in our everyday lives that we learn who we are. And it’s in our everyday struggles we learn about our less admirable traits. 

Furthermore I’ve made a mess of many things in my life. Both in a way that creates many unwanted things in my life, such as debts and negative habits. And in ways that, even though I don’t believe in a judgmental God, keeps me separated from God. However, when it comes to this separation, I believe that almost all of us experience it to one degree or another. And I’ve also made a few rather good decisions too.

No matter what, I’m not ready to give up and just accept the limitations that my choices so far have placed upon my life. But I obviously don’t want my life to be just a waiting for tomorrow either. 

As a sidenote, I do believe that we live in a rather harsh, unforgiving world dominated by tons of rotten values. But the world isn’t going to change just because I want it to. I believe that it will change eventually. But only because we change. Therefore I have to change, but somehow doing it in a way where I don’t swallow the world’s corruption. And even get rid of the corruption that I have already invited into my life. 

I know that many people feel hopelessness right now. I don’t. Even though I see more or less pitch black clouds on the horizon and even though my everyday life is filled with issues and struggles, I’ve also been given many things to be hopeful about. I must believe that God has let me experience the things that I have experienced for a reason, even if my faith often is so weak that even rather small setbacks seriously discourage me. But as long as I don’t stay discouraged forever and get up again, I know somewhere that it’s going to be okay in the end. Life might not become the smooth ride that I hoped for a few years ago. But still, I know somewhere that there is something good on the horizon. I can’t believe that all of the strange things that have happened to me are for nothing. So when things start to move for real, I will have my journey documented on this blog, together with the insights that I’ve gained about the conditions of our being in the world. 

Hopefully this can serve both as an encouragement for others, as well as some food for thought. Because I’ve dug I bigger hole that I have to climb out of than most people. It’s not the worst hole in the world and I think that I can do it. But years of unconscious living tend to mess up one’s inner life as well as one’s outer life. And the outer is a reflection of the inner anyway, no matter if we believe that we literally manifest our reality with our thoughts and feelings, or just make choices that are in line with how our insides look. Regardless of metaphysics, if the inside is chaotic and unfocused, that’s how life tends to unfold. 

But I’ve done some major cleaning already. And more cleaning is happening every day. And just like the everyday stuff that I talked about in the beginning of the post, somehow the cleaning is part of the journey as well. It’s not just something that has to be done so that I can get on with the bigger, more important stuff. I need to love the now and look at it as just as meaningful as that which I believe awaits me in the future. Even though I truly believe that something amazing is awaiting me. Awaiting us: me, my wife, those friends, family and acquaintances and really really everyone on the planet that choose to reject what the rulers of this world have to offer.

If I’m wrong, those of you that follow me will at least have the opportunity to follow the train wreck as it happens. But there is not going to be a train wreck. There is some darkness right now. Both on a personal level and on a global level. This is also something that I may want to talk a bit about on the blog. But not in a doom and gloom kind of way. Because something better is coming. I know that whatever happens in the future we can get through it together, God is on our side and all will be well.

Photo by Evan Dennis on Unsplash

UNUSUAL and IMPORTANT questions about how to make life run more smoothly

Banging my head against the wall doesn’t work. Neither does it work to just let myself go and just do whatever feels good at the moment. Both these approaches to life come from the ego. 

So, maybe, if I feel constricted somewhere, I need to make that a priority, in a way that works. I need to ask myself: why do I feel this tightness in my chest? Why do I feel blocked in certain areas of my life? Why does this or that thing not work the way I want them to? What do I need to make this or that thing run more smoothly? What is it that does work well? Can I get more of that? Why does it work well?

We often try to power through doing the same thing over and over again. Or we completely let go, give up and say that there is no point. 

Now, what I’m beginning to realize, is that everything is at the core energy in motion. And this sounds really vague and airy, but hear me out. How often do we stand back and really feel the energy of whatever we are doing? Of whatever situation that we find ourselves in? In the end, it all comes down to awareness. And bringing more awareness into our lives is everything. To experience more in the present moment. To feel more of what we actually are feeling. 

I’ve often noticed that when I remember to do this, feel the energy of what I am doing and what is going on, I can quite easily feel how energy either flows calmly, smoothly and efficiently or if it feels slow and inert. Or if it’s agitated and erratic. My body is often the first to tell me. Do I feel light, full of life and joy? Or am I heavy or tight and tense somewhere? Can I really feel my body and the energies that flow in it? Or Does it feel numb and and blocked? 

Am I in a mode of acceptance or resistance towards what is? If I resist, I block the energy flow. And I cannot be present in the moment and resist at the same time. Resistance always impies a loss of consciousness. And a loss of consciousness always blocks our energy. And so on. So we need to be present, accept what is and feel what we really feel. All of it fits together. We can’t have one without the other. And when it falls into place energy flows. Life flows.

Photo by Tobias Carlsson on Unsplash

Non-resistance is THE game changer

It’s strange to think that I’ve been doing all of this searching to come to this simple conclusion. The basics are as follows. Life consists of an infinite amount of moments, since time is infinitely dividable. In every moment we have a choice of whether to say yes or no to what is happening. We always have this choice, even if the circumstances affect how easy or hard it is to see this choice. 

The foundation of saying yes to the present moment is to be present with it. We are present with it by being here and now. To do that we allow as much of our experience as possible. We are present inside our heads, really see what it is that we are seeing and really feel what it is that we are feeling. Every time that we feel a tension inside our heads or our bodies, we are resisting in one way or another. When we are not resisting, everything flows naturally. If everything does not flow naturally, we are resisting. 

Most of the thoughts that we have in our heads are resistance in one form or another. They bring us out of the present moment, tell us why the present moment is not as it should be and distract us in different ways. 

What I have noticed is that when I don’t resist things, everything is effortless. Problems in my body correct themselves. The things that I do have a natural, totally efficient flow to them. I feel a peaceful relaxation inside myself, my breath flows naturally and I expend very little energy doing the things that I do. I pay attention to what is going on and do things in a systematic way. Solutions to problems seem to present themselves out of nowhere. 

The only problem is that every moment offers the possibility of forgetting this state. So I have to keep reminding myself to live in this state over and over again. It is a completely effortless shift, but because I’m so used to struggling, the shift will be accompanied by some discomfort. This discomfort is however illusory. There is nothing hard about this whatsoever. It’s just about learning a new way of functioning from.

Photo by Erin O'Brien on Unsplash