Stress PART 4

This final post in this series will actually be two posts because there was more to say about this than I initially thought. Here I will explore what works for me personally, when it comes to dealing with stress. Hopefully those that read it can get some food for thought when it comes to their stress that is related to their goals and dreams.

I don’t think that there is any way around having to put in a lot of time and effort if we want to get somewhere. But I believe that there are ways of doing it more or less stressful. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I don’t think that it’s fruitful to just grind on an try to get as much as possible done in as little time as possible. It takes all the joy out of it. And even though work has to be challenging, it also has to be fun and inspiring. This is a given. And yet, so many of us, myself not the least, forget about this. 

Now, let’s see what has worked for me so far.

I think that I need to grow with my work. It has to be not just work, but part of my overall growth and spiritual life. This means maybe above all, to cultivate mindfulness while I’m working. In this there is also a big need for acceptance. My financial situation is something that is giving me a lot of stress. But really, it’s not that bad. Me and my wife are not starving and we don’t have to be super careful with what we buy. And I tend to allow unforeseen expenditures to get me down quite a lot. And it’s not making anything better. As with many things, it’s about being able to take a step back and observe what is going on before my emotions get the best of me. If I can learn to see that nothing has happened, except that I’ve lost a little money, and just move on, my life will run so much more smoothly.

I need to do all of in a way that works for me. I cannot just decide to work in a certain way because it has worked for others. Surely, I need to study those that have walked similar paths before me. But I can most certainly not shoehorn my life to fit into their success formula. Because again, if I do things that simple are not me, I will lose the joy of what I’m doing.

Stress PART 3

Sitting down and going through the last two posts in this series has made me realize just how easy it is to forget one’s initial resolutions. In about a month, I’ve been back into hurrying and beating myself for not doing all of the things that I’ve planned to do. The truth is that the solution to this problem lies in the last post. I’ve just forgotten about it and kept on with my stressed out life. 

But I think that there is something more to say about this, before I can put it to rest.

If we try to make something of ourselves, we run up against all these obstacles. Or we have to settle for a life where we are more or less living for the weekends. Or, if we don’t work, we are dependent on the state and have very little financial freedom. At least, this is my experience so far. I was most free when I went to the university. I didn’t have a lot of money, but I didn’t have to struggle just to get by either. I could plan my days and no one cared what I did, as long as I passed the tests and turned in my papers on time.

I’ve also tried to run a business. This offered me some sense of freedom. But this freedom was overshadowed by financial stress and all of the hands that wanted to get themselves into my pockets, not least the hands of the state. 

But I know that there are other ways. Ways that don’t mean that we have to work ourselves to death before we can enjoy a little bit of freedom. Ways where we can truly take our power back. Ways where life can be fun and exciting and not just a race to keep up with the rest of the world. Do you see the problem here? We all rush to get ahead of each other, to do thing better and faster than everyone else. We try to be more beautiful, stay young longer, accumulate more money and more stuff than everyone else. Or we resign and accept a life of mediocrity. No middle ground. This is nothing new. And yet, this weird illusion is upheld by everyone. And now and then someone comes out and says “The emperor is naked”. But as long as most people agree to keep on living the insanity, the emperor can have as many or as few clothes on him as he wants to. It will make no difference. 

I truly believe that we need to put as much time and effort as we are capable of into something that we find worthwhile. And we need to do it in a way that works for us. This, I believe, is more or less unique to every individual. And we need to find the ways that work for us personally. This is something that I will explore in the next and last post in this series. 

Non-resistance

Every time that we bring awareness to the present moment and what is going on in it things change. This is a choice that we can make in every moment. And when we choose awareness, life starts to open up to us and we become less prone to get caught up in thoughts and emotions.

I have noticed that in every given moment, we can choose our mindset. Most of us, myself included, have learned to resist and/or force things depending on what situation it is that we are facing. We try to force and control. Sometimes we do have some power to control the situation and sometimes we don’t. But we always want something other than what is. 

It takes some time to notice this and how it functions. But the more we observe ourselves, the more we will start to see all kinds of things that were previously hidden to us. 

There are several signs that we have gone into resistance. We start to get angry and frustrated. We sigh. Thoughts of the type Why can’t it just…? enter our heads. Our actions start to feel compulsive instead of like real choices. If we speak to someone else, we can easily detect how our voice changes. How it becomes more sharp and a complaining tone comes into it. We also may start to overtly complain about the situation at hand.

The resistance can even be felt physically. We tense up in different areas of our bodies and if we are really observant, we can feel how this resistance starts at the centre of our heads. We try to make reality different inside our heads. 

This is about learning to function from a different mindset. One where we allow the things that we cannot control to be as they are. One where we don’t attach labels such as “good” or “bad” to what is happening in the moment. We just allow things to be what they are, bring as much awareness as we are capable of to what is going on, without forcing it, and calmly choose the actions that present themselves. When we are here and now and observe what is going on, instead of being caught up in wishing for things to be different, the best actions usually present themselves effortlessly. 

It does take a lot of practice though. I myself am very far from perfection when it comes to this. And the thing is that it is another type of practice than we are used to. This is not about acquiring a skill in the usual sense. It’s not about exerting an effort. It’s about learning to let things flow on their own accord. Without effort. To let go and trust.

THOUGHTS are really weird. Why don't more people THINK about that?

We have these words and images in our heads. We also have memories of experiences, pieces of music, things we have seen etcetera. Furthermore, we have beliefs and opinions about things. We have beliefs and opinions about anything from friends, pets, tools, to world politics and religion. Most of us unconsciously believe that we are our thoughts. In other words not in the sense that we walk around using the word-machine inside our heads to say: “I am this thought or I am that thought”. But if we look at how we treat this grinding voice that keeps on nagging inside our heads, it’s clear that we do. Why would we otherwise give so much weight to what it has to say about the world and the people and things in it? So much so that many of us are prepared to buy things they cannot afford, end relationships and friendships or beat people up because of what it says. A few even kill people or start wars because of what it says.

If we try to stop thinking, we pretty soon find out that it’s impossible. And yet, many people go through their whole lives without noticing this. We do seem to have some control over our thoughts however. But few people seem to have given much thought (pun intended!) to how this control works. Even though we have our thoughts running non-stop during our waking hours and they definitely affect what we say and how we feel and act, many (probably most of us) don’t think about how this control works or how the thoughts operate in general. Isn’t this weird? We have something that is with us all of the time during our waking hours, that to a large extent runs our lives. We know that we have some control over this something. But many spend no time at all thinking of how this something functions. Many don’t even realize that they can do such a thing.

We know that we can change a stream of thoughts. But we also know that if too strong negative emotions are attached to a stream of thoughts, we tend to return to them as soon as we stop being aware of what we are thinking of.

The question of being aware of our thoughts is an interesting one in itself. Because it’s only when we are totally focused on observing the thought stream that the thoughts go silent. And if we are like most people, we can only maintain this focus for a second or two. Why is that? Why is it so hard to focus on our thoughts? And why do they disappear when we do?

We can also consciously bring out thoughts. But for the most part, if we are honest with ourselves, we just let them happen. But if we think deliberately, we notice that the character of our thoughts changes, even if it’s hard to put one’s finger on how. But they become more clear, more original, less repetitive. We can also hold imaginary conversations in our heads. We can pretend that we are talking to famous or dead people. For example. We can even direct our thoughts towards God. 

When we direct our thoughts towards God, something also seems to shift, even though, at least when I do it in everyday life, this shift seems rather subtle. So far. I haven’t tried it much yet. Maybe this will change over time.

Some thoughts and questions concerning politicians PART 6

Some people say that we shouldn’t vote at all, because then we just end up supporting the corrupt system. I respect this opinion and believe that this is up to each and everyone to decide for him- or herself. And I agree that voting every fourth year for candidates that are in no meaningful way held accountable afterwards, is a scam. Candidates that only disagree on a very small amount of issues, that are given a vastly disproportionate amount of attention, since the mass media still, to a large degree, control which issues we focus on. And if you follow the chain of owners, you will find that the news flow is for the most part controlled by a small number of global actors…

Personally I plan on voting though. But only for a party that respects what I regard as universal and inalienable rights. I will only vote for a party that respects my bodily autonomy unconditionally. Only for a party that will always act in the interest of the people and never allows itself to be influenced by financially powerful special interests. This, as far as I’m concerned, is not a matter of opinion. It’s simply a matter of right and wrong. 

So, what party will I vote for? From where I stand right now, I don’t know. If there is no such party, I will not vote. I will not vote for the least bad alternative, just to not throw away my voice in society. The way I see it, this would be to support the corrupt system. Then I would say that it’s better to stay home and do whatever one feels like doing. I remember that the comedian George Carlin had a good suggestion, but I think that I would do something more productive with my time ;).

I believe that for the time being, we are in a situation where the old and the new has to exist side by side. This means that while we have to recognize the dominating system as corrupt to the core, we cannot simply ignore it, even if it is up to us as individuals to choose how to interact with it. I’m very doubtful that the system can be changed from within. But spending an hour every fourth year just in case that I and others that believe the same thing are wrong, might be a good time investment. 

But as I’ve said before, in the end I believe it is up to us to build communities that are independent of the majority culture. Communities of spiritually awakened people that respect each other’s individuality and help and support each other, not because they are coerced to do so, but because they want to. Because more and more people are waking up. The veil is being pulled from our eyes. More and more people are starting to see the limited ways we have been conditioned to function from. We don’t need such things as power hunger, control and mindless gratification of the senses anymore. There is something so much better on the horizon. And we will get there. The question is just how much pain it will take for enough people to wake up and see it.

The things that God has seen me do...

I know that God exists. And I’m almost as sure about the omnipresent, omnipotent part. Which means that God has seen everything that I have done. Heard every thought. To say that this makes me a bit uncomfortable would be the understatement of the year, when I think about what this really means. I don’t believe in hell and I don’t have to in order for it to be so. Just imagine standing in front of the creator of the universe and being questioned about your most shameful moments. I can’t imagine what that would be like, even if I’m forgiven for all my sins. Even if it turns out that every "bad" thing I or anyone else ever did stemmed not from me or anyone else being bad, but from erroneous thinking (this is what I do believe).

I honestly don’t know if I’m ever going to stand before the creator of the universe and have all my sins read to me. Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. Does it really matter? I have committed them and God has seen me doing it. The difference is that I haven’t really believed that God has seen me. Or else I would have had a very hard time doing whatever it was that I was doing. If God on the other hand would stand visibly right in front of me, the situation would be different. Hence the example above. The question that we thus may ask ourselves is: If God was visibly present in the room, would I do the thing that I am doing? Would I say the things that I'm thinking of?

Something that I’ve noticed lately, is that when I think of God, there is no room for certain thoughts or memories inside my head. It is as if the presence of God cannot co-exist with certain things. Not when I truly think of God as God, with all God’s holiness, and not just God as a concept or a word. In other words, when I really know that God sees me, certain things fall away on their own.

This was very much not something that I noticed easily. It took a long time. And I haven’t really figured out what it means, all of its implications or exactly how it works. 

Trusting God

Can I accept the thought that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be? This is an interesting question whose answer has lots of implications. Because this is a question about trusting God. 

I think that the story about Doubting Thomas in the Bible is interesting here. Because on the surface it seems strange that anyone would doubt after having seen what Jesus can do. Until one finds oneself in a similar situation. In my life, I’ve had so much proof in the form of synchronicities, messages, strange experiences within and the testimonies of people going through the same thing as I do. And yet, when life gets tough I find myself unable to let go and trust the process. I find it difficult to believe that God really has got my back and I sometimes start questioning my experiences. This in spite of the fact that they are so plentiful and undeniable, that if they happened all at once to the most hardcore skeptic, he/she would have to accept them as evidence. 

The best reason for this that I can come up with, is that when it comes to the miraculous, the ego simply cannot grasp it. Even if heaven literally opened up and God came down riding a golden chariot, the ego might sit the next day saying: “What about my bills? What about my bad habits? Maybe this or that person does not like me.” Etcetera. I know somewhere that everything happens for a reason and that everything is as it’s supposed to be. That I safely can put my life in God’s hands, because God is everything and infinitely more. But if enough setbacks happen in a row, I forget all about this and start thinking that something is wrong. Something that my little ego has to fix, even if I highly doubt my ability to handle it. Even if I know how crazy it sounds, that I would have all these very unusual experiences just to live a life of struggling to get by, while paying for one unexpected expenditure after another, this is often how it feels.

And on the other hand, if this is where God wants me to be, who am I to question it? Do I really have so little faith in God’s plan and that God knows what he’s doing? I know that I’m going to live forever and yet, from time to time I’m making myself miserable thinking of the things that aren’t as little me want them to be right now.

The thing is that my ego, little me, does not care. No matter how many exciting spiritual experiences I have, my ego won't accept them. My ego will still look at my five-sense reality, insisting that it is more real. That my petty problems are what's important. That they are what I need to focus on. That I should focus on temporary pain instead of eternal bliss. It insists that I don't have a choice in the matter. Even if I somewhere knows that a shift in focus and perspective always is possible.

Some thoughts about the NEW WORLD that is emerging

I have noticed that there are many other people that have the same idea right now as I do, of creating communities that are independent of the larger society. This cannot be a coincidence. I however believe that this needs to be extended.

That these communities need to cooperate with each other is a given. This needs to stretch beyond national borders. I also believe that we need to develop systems of support for those that find themselves mistreated by the systems that they live in, i.e those that have their autonomy violated by these systems. For this to be effective, we need local communities, consisting of individuals that function within a global community. I believe that only one guideline is necessary: No one ever has any right to force their will on anyone else in any way. As far as I’m concerned, this is an idea that any awakening soul eventually has to embrace on their journey. 

This is an idea that I hope that someone eventually picks up and elaborates on.

Among awakened people I don’t believe that people have to be forced to help each other. When we realize that we are all one and that there is no joy or meaning to be found, in living to gratify one’s ego, it becomes natural to do what one can to contribute to the whole in any way one can. Of course we need to help ourselves in order to help others effectively. But for an awakened soul, when the basic needs for survival and security are met, the ideas of just gathering more money and material possessions, living for oneself or using others become completely pointless. Pointless because we know that we can walk with God and connect with other people. That we can live in a glorious, spiritual reality, reaching higher and higher states of awareness and spiritual experiences. We know that all of this is completely free and never on anyone’s expense. 

What I also believe, is that however it may seem at the moment, those of us that live by spiritual values and values such as love, freedom, care and personal responsibility, rather than fear, coercion and “every man for himself” will eventually win. Because ultimately it is a choice between paying millions for sand or receiving diamonds for free.

The EGO's attack on humility and how it hurts our progress

It seems like I get a slap pretty fast these days, when I start thinking that I’ve risen above petty struggles. When I’m not being honest with myself and others about my shortcomings. And this is the thing: there is no point denying reality. I have dealt with some of my problems. I am no longer afraid of challenges. I’ve dealt with my addictions, except food addiction, and I’ve done it “only” with the help of God. I’ve started to live relatively healthy, which means that I work out, meditate daily, work actively to fix my physical problems and eat mainly healthy food, even if I still frequently overeat. 

Lately, because I’ve truly started to see some improvement in my own life, I’ve started to become more of a positive influence in other people’s lives, a part of me has started to want to project an image of infallibility. This is of course false and inauthentic. But as with so many other behaviors that we engage in, it has happened unconsciously, because I haven’t been vigilant towards myself. 

But the truth is that I still have a poor self-control when it comes to quite a few things. I still get angry and frustrated when too many “bad” things happen at once. I still have financial issues, I have my dark thoughts, judgments, hangups and difficulties in social interactions. Just to name a few things. 

What I am thus beginning to notice, is that every time I start projecting this image of perfection, life smacks me in the face pretty hard. I get hit with one problem after the other. If I handle the first with dignity, another one comes along and so on, until I break down and curse my wretched life and existence itself.

There are of course other harsh lessons baked into these lessons. Usually it has to do with money or lack of self-control. But the overall theme is my unwillingness to be vulnerable and to be perceived as flawed.

A funny thing is that when I’ve opened up more about my issues, other people have reacted with nothing but positivity. In at least one case, the person that I have spoken to has even expressed gratitude over the fact that I’m willing to share the struggles that I’m still facing, even though I have my life much more in order now than just a few years ago. Just because I’m human doesn’t mean that I cannot offer important insights to others. It’s probably the opposite. Humans are messy and complicated. If someone seems to have things figured out, we probably don’t know the whole person. And if we are truly going to help someone else, we need connection. Otherwise we are just egos talking to egos. Again, we are not here to be perfect. We are here to be human. And the need to project an image of perfection does not make us more likable. It makes us less so. 

An attempt at making sense of what's going on in the world as humbly as I'm capable of PART 10

What should I believe with regard to all of this that is happening? This is a question that I keep coming back to. Because there is no doubt that beliefs are important. What we believe shape our thoughts, words and actions. And even if I don’t believe this, for many Christians what we believe makes the difference between salvation and damnation, between heaven and hell. Even if I don’t believe this myself, I believe that this is something that deserves to be taken seriously. Not just because of the issue of salvation and damnation per se, but also because this tells us something about the importance of beliefs.

And now I’m going to say something that may not be popular. In fact, I’m going to say it many times on my blog. What I’m going to say is: Christians and New Agers might have things to learn from each other.

Because my best conclusion is that somehow both all this weird stuff with chakras, aliens, energies, quantum physics, reincarnation on the one hand, and Christianity, the End Times and the second coming of Christ, must be true. This is the only conclusion I can draw, however strange it feels when I actually spell it out. 

Why?

Because on the one hand, I’ve had many personal experiences of things that New Agers talk about, such as chakra openings and the energies that flow through the meridian system. And I've had very similar experiences to many other people that also go through what can be called a spiritual awakening and the Ascension Process. But I’m also very much drawn to the message and the person Jesus Christ, and I can’t deny that many of the End Time prophecies of the Bible seem to be coming true. As far as I can see, when I try to be as humble and open as possible, it's impossible for me to completely dismiss either side. 

If I’m wrong about this I sincerely want to know, from someone that can deliver a convincing argumentation. "You're being close-minded" or "believe this or you're going to hell" does not count as convincing argumentations though.