Change can go fast if you take action

When it comes to my habits, they often can be change pretty fast if I take action contrary to them. One good example is that when I started doing things at my job that I previously tried to avoid because of lack of experience, this habit started to shift. It started after the first time that I consciously chose to break my old habit. 

Maybe the “consciously” part shouldn’t be dismissed here? I also wonder whether some habits contain sub-habits that they need to be broken down into. For example my habit of eating too much when I watch movies. Perhaps I first need to kick the habit of always eating when I watch movies. And if I’m more selective when I watch them and remove some of the more mindless entertainment, this might make my movie experiences more meaningful. And this might lead to a lesser need for other mindless pleasures associated with it. And if I’m going to eat stuff when I watch movies, I could gradually replace the unhealthy stuff with healthier alternatives. And so on.

I know that this probably sounds pretty trite and basic. But I think that many people would be surprised at how many things are on auto-pilot in their lives, while it flies under the radar under the erroneous label of free choice. I think it’s very much time to start taking our power back from our unconscious habits!

An attempt at making sense of what's going on in the world as humbly as I'm capable of PART 9

When you realize that the world is more than can be perceived with the five senses, anything becomes possible. I keep coming back to this. And this is something that I absolutely know. I can’t prove it with evidence, arguments or logic. But I’m willing to go out and sound like a crazy person to many of oy Facebook contacts, because at the moment this is more or less the only outreach that I have, even if occasionally someone else finds his/her way to my blog. Because this, whatever it is (I believe that there is much that no one has yet fully understood about this), is more important than anything else. It’s definitely much more important than what a few friends, relatives and acquaintances might think of my mental state. And I know that this, whatever it is, will probe itself to be real to more and more people. Simply because I know that it is. 

If I was alone in this, it could easily be written off as pathological. But as I’ve said, I’ve shared many experiences with my wife, and all over the world people are reporting similar experiences. Two YouTubers that have many followers, that talk about this, are Victor Oddo and Aaron Doughty. To someone who has had no such experiences, their content will probably seem quite outlandish. But it should tell you something that these people have rather large followings that are growing every day. It’s also a funny thing to read about this in different forums. People seem to have a hard time understanding how this weird stuff can have grown so big, since the idea that it all actually might be true seems completely out of the question, unless personal experience has convinced them otherwise. And to a large extent, this is just the way it should be. This is at least what I believe, since I don’t believe that it’s good to accept anything at face value no matter how true it is. Why we believe something is often much more important than what we believe.

Some thoughts about the movie The Shawshank Redemption PART 2

We are ultimately responsible for what happens in our lives. It doesn’t mean that it’s just or fair. Andy Dufresne is innocent of the crime that he gets convicted for. But he did find himself drunk outside of his house with a gun in his hand. He did toss the gun in the river. He let his emotions run his actions for a while. The punishment does not at all fit the crime. In fact, here there was no crime. Yet, had he remained in control of himself, he wouldn’t have been in prison. 

And we live in a world where punishments seldom fit the crimes. Someone makes a few mistakes and is in financial slavery for life, while those with enough money and/or power can commit genocide and get away with it. Someone commits a victimless crime and is branded a criminal, while someone else acts totally despicably, but within the confines of the law, and no one raises an eyebrow because no juridical transgression has been committed. This is the world we live in and whether or not we have an intent of changing it, we still have to live in it as best we can. And if we want to be free from the injustices of the world, we first need to be free in ourselves. Because this, as Dufresne says in many ways throughout the movie, this is the only freedom that no one can take away from us.

And when we do that we need to chip away at our prison walls one day at a time. We need to be patient with ourselves while doing it. Because our walls are thick and hard and we are going to have to do a lot of things that we don’t want to do on our way to freedom. And on the way, we need to accept where we are and do our best with it. While Dufresne is in prison, he does what he can to improve the situation around him. When he gets raped, he does all he can to fight it, and therefore he can still walk out of it with his head held high. He is always of the lookout for ways to improve his conditions and the conditions of those around him. And when it all comes crashing down, he allows himself a moment of defeat. But then he gets up again. 

Some thoughts about the movie The Shawshank Redemption PART 1

The ego is a prison. 

I watched The Shawshank Redemption yesterday. It was around twenty years since I watched it the last time and I almost didn’t remember any of it. 

What I wish to talk about is the prison metaphor and how it can be seen as symbolizing our own mental prison. It is clearly spoken of in some of the dialogue in the movie. And now I want to make it a bit personal, but hopefully in a way which many can relate to. 

This is a movie filled with symbolism. When it dawns on you that you are in fact in a metaphorical prison and that you through your unconscious thoughts, words and behaviors are the ones that got you there, it will feel hopeless and unfair. You messed up, but you didn’t know what you were doing, but no one is going to help you to clean up the mess and you see no way out. And crying and whining about it is only going to make it infinitely worse. Because there are merciless“guards” that are prepared to “beat you to death” if you do. 

In a paradoxical way, we are both innocent and guilty at the same time. “Everyone here is innocent”, as the character Red says, while soon afterwards admitting that he is guilty. He is the only one that actually admits that he is in fact guilty. But he committed his crime when he was young, stupid and didn’t understand what he was doing. But this does not matter. Thirty years later, he is still paying for it with his imprisonment. Whether or not he deserves his sentence, is up to each and everyone to decide.

This is where I’ve found myself. As a teenager and young adult, I adopted a very destructive philosophy of meaninglessness and nihilism. And really by any standard, my behavior was consistently stupid. For someone with an above average intelligence even more so. I often boasted of my intelligence, while constantly engaging in behavior not even fitting for someone with an IQ of eighty. And now, twenty years later, I’ve found myself in a prison cell of bad habits and unconscious beliefs. And believe me, I have cried and whined about it quite a lot. But the world doesn't care, so I'm still left with having to deal with it.

I would actually say that in many ways, my situation is quite unique, as I, in many ways, know and understand myself better than anyone I know. But on the other hand, I’ve made such a mess of myself in my youth, that I’m also facing gigantic struggles. This, I believe, is something that I can put into good use, if I handle it correctly. Because I can chip away at my metaphorical prison wall one day at a time and put into words what is happening while I do it. And since I’ve caused so many problems for myself - problems that I refuse to just ignore - hopefully I will also be able to help many other people as I deal with them a little at a time.

Stress PART 2

Here is the reason why I wish to explore stress and how to change one’s life to experience less of it in a few posts: 

In the last post I hinted at the fact that I’ve recently come face to face with stress that ultimately stems from a feeling of powerlessness. I’ve desperately tried to work on alternative ways of making money, as I, for private reasons, no longer see my current occupation as one that I wish to stay in for too long. But instead I’ve found myself feeling tired and burned out. I haven’t gotten nearly as much done as I had hoped and felt guilty for it. It is clear that much of what I’m doing right now isn’t working.

Stress comes in many forms. The obvious one, which I also believe is tied to other forms, is that there never seems to be enough time to do the things that one wants to do. That one always is in a hurry to tick off all of those things on the to-do list. Then comes financial stress. This type of stress ties in with always being in a hurry, because some of those things on the to-do list are supposed to generate money, so that we can get out of the stress of being financially burdened. 

Then there is the stress of not being in control of one’s life. This often means that one does not plan one’s time properly and so comes the time-stress into the picture. And when one is not in control, one makes mistakes that cost money and so there is another stress factor. As many of us messy people know, there are whole organizations and companies that make much of their money from exploiting mistakes of this type. 

The thing is that I started to write these posts a while back. Then I forgot about them and picked them up yesterday, when looking for something to post, since I haven’t kept up with my blogging lately. Oh the irony! Seriously though, I think that it’s some sort of sign that the first post I actually started going through was yesterday’s. So I have known for quite a while that I live in a dysfunctional situation. And I’ve sort of had the solution right in front of me as well. 

It goes something like this: Stop hurrying first! When I hurry, I fail to plan things adequately. Instead I spend loads of time sort of knowing what to do but not really. I end up having to stop and think of every step, both interrupting my work flow and wasting time. When I hurry, I also do things sloppy and have to correct mistakes afterwards. And last but not least, when I feel stressed about things, I fail to take care of things in my everyday life. I become absent minded, so that I put things at places where I don’t find them, miss making payments and in general fail to take care of my everyday life properly. This in turn ends up costing time and money in various ways, which in turn contributes to my stress even more. Can you recognize yourself in any of this? 

Stress PART 1

2022 has for me so far been a year of discovering what does not work for me. Stress is one of those things. Simply put, if it seems like the world is running too fast, it might just be in my head. And if it’s not just in my head, it’s futile to try to keep up with it anyway. And maybe, just maybe (this might just be the height of wishful thinking, but who cares?) the world will slow down to allow me to catch up ;). Because I don't think that the current situation is making anyone happy.

Because it has become just as much a cliché to point out that we are living too fast, as it is to always be busy. So I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m going to take a look at my stress and what I can do differently about it. Because I’ve lived with a lot of stress. I still live with it. And so far, it’s not making me happy and I feel that there is a better way to get more things done, while feeling less pain and getting more out of life.

The first thing I’ve noticed is that when I just try to get as much as possible done in as little time as possible, I don’t do things in a smart way, I rush and have to correct errors for sloppy work afterwards. This also means that I’m not very effective. It’s much easier to give in to mindless stuff when you’re tired and try to whip yourself to do work. Finally, I also sooner or later crash, causing even more loss of time. Which is also time where I don’t totally relax, since I feel guilty while I’m taking it. 

The need to prove ourselves DESTROYS confidence

If I’m present with myself, I can observe the energy behind what I’m saying. This might sound a little vague, but let me explain. 

As I’m getting more into contact with myself, my confidence grows and with it my speech changes when I interact with other people in different circumstances. I feel that I’m becoming more and more capable of handling the situations that arise in my life and I feel more and more like someone who actually knows what he’s doing. Not just someone that tries to make other believe this. Which has been how I’ve felt in the past. Even if I wouldn’t have admitted this to myself while it was going on. 

But something that has not gone away, which I’ve noticed lately, is my need to prove myself. It was stronger when I lacked real confidence. But it still lingers. When I observe the words that come out of my mouths, some of them are the same types of attempts at making others believe certain things about me. This neither confident nor powerful. It’s certainly not humble. And if I’m really observant, I can feel the energy shift when I go into this mode. Feel how I’m losing the person that I’m speaking to a bit.

What would be a more powerful approach? Well, to simply keep in mind that I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. To be clear about my intention and focus on what’s important. To not I attach some importance to how other people view me as a person. Not because I need to prove that I’m intelligent, in control, strong, disciplined etcetera. Because I know that I have a genuinely confident side, which grows stronger and comes out more frequently the more I work on myself. The more challenges that I handle rather than run away from them. And when I act and speak from this side of myself, people tend to respond in a positive manner without me having to think of what impression I want to make. 

More thoughts about thoughts

Thoughts constantly fill our heads during our waking hours. They also fill our dreams, even though they are significantly different when we dream, than when we are awake. Yet, many don’t think about them. Worse yet, many believe that they are their thoughts. They may not have spelled it out for themselves, but this is what they unconsciously assume. Even though they cannot find what in their thoughts that they actually are. And even though they can hold many contradictory thoughts from time to time. 

Many also believe that their thoughts are true, without examining the evidence for them.

I’m not saying this from some place of superiority. All of the above was my reality until just a few years ago. And when I’m not present and conscious of what is going on inside of me, I still slip back into this way of relating to my thoughts.

The more I observe what is going on inside my head, the more I’m starting to notice that some thoughts seem “higher” while others seem “lower”. Some thoughts seem to ring more true. They seem more conscious and mature. These thoughts seem to come out when I’m more present and conscious of what I’m thinking, while the thoughts that I let slip by while I’m not really aware of what I’m thinking seem “lower” and more immature. The “higher” thoughts seem more loving, joyful and they seem to want what’s best for everyone, including me. The “lower” thoughts on the other hand, seem to be more focused on instant gratification, sometimes at the expense of others and most certainly at my own expense in the long run. As I’ve matured some with age, I’ve learned to at least not take action on the thoughts that blatantly hurt others. 

I believe that, at least metaphorically, these thoughts are God and the Devil. When it comes to God, I even believe that they come from God in a literal sense, while I only believe that the Devil is a representation of our ego. I believe that depending on which thoughts we choose to nourish, we can create either our personal heaven or hell here on earth. 

Light can only be understood with the wisdom of darkness - balance

We hear so much about the importance of light these days. In all spiritual communities we are told that it is necessary to spread our light and to conquer darkness.

I have been giving this a lot of thought lately. What is darkness? What is there to conquer?

Darkness is defined as absence of light, if you check Wikipedia and other sites on the internet. In our dualistic world, how could we ever recognize the light, if we didn’t have the darkness?

Many people refer to darkness as something that is negative, harmful and even evil. Something that we should fear.

God never condemned the darkness, he said that it was equally important to us as the light. We need the darkness in our life. The keyword here is balance. 

It was only when I could acknowledge and embrace the darker parts of myself, that I could transform and begin to share my own light. I discovered that I truly am everything, every opposite and all I see outside of myself is really only me. 

I got this big opportunity a few months ago, when something totally unexpected and heartbreaking occurred in my life. I was in total chock, anger and pain. After a few days of dwelling in this state, I finally surrendered and opened up to God, and that was a truly transforming experience. I could feel his love for me, and was able to see, from a higher point of awareness, why this had happened to me at this time. I could see my own unhealed wounds and how I projected these into the world. It was a real miracle for me, and it helped me to forgive and open up to a love without conditions, expectations and demands.

When we are triggered by people close to us, we can easily recognize what is unhealed within ourselves, our own darkness. We can then illuminate everything that has been hidden and gain a greater understanding of who we are.

I believe that it is only through fully accepting our selves and others with all our dark parts, flaws, imperfections and fears, that we truly can experience and share the light and all-embracing love.

Title quote: KA Chinery

Bringing conscious awareness into everything

As with many other things, the first step to changing this, is to set the intention of becoming aware every time my focus starts to drift and consciously bringing it back to what's in front of me every time that it does. I believe that if I persist, I will become aware more and more often. This has worked when it comes to my job. And it works with many other things. 

What I've realized, is that at my job I’m pretty focused on what’s in front of me and do things very efficiently. But when I sit down with projects at home, I tend to lose focus easily and become distracted. And I’ve realized that this is actually a habit. I’ve allowed my work that I do in my spare time to become sloppy and unfocused.

This also goes beyond mere lack of efficiency. When I do things in this manner, I also much more seldom get into a flow state. This means that I more often do things from a place of ego and of trying to force things, which means that I get access to much fewer novel ideas than I could. 

Some thoughts and questions concerning politicians PART 5

Today I will continue making suggestions on how we can start freeing ourselves of the people that have made themselves our leaders. As a starting point I will use something that I realized a few days ago, which I think is a step that we awakening souls will have to start taking. So this is my little attempt at doing my part in putting the idea out there.

This is what I would like to propose: That those of us that are awakening start organizing to become more independent of society. This does not mean fostering a “us against them” mentality. But spiritual awakening is not an artificial construct that separates people. It is a very real thing. There are however different degrees to this. I know some people that are awakening, but that have not recognized this fact yet. But the majority is still asleep. The first great divide is between those that believe that the world is more or less what we perceive with the five senses, and those that have at least started to suspect that the world is more than this. The second would be between those that understand that something very strange is happening in the world and those that just think that humanity is facing a huge crisis with no significance beyond itself. I.e between those that understand that this crisis is spiritual to its nature and those that don’t. This understanding also entails that we’re facing the end of the world as we know it. This is also where my understanding ends. Some may know what this end means, but here I’m at a loss. I believe that there are basically two options here. Either the whole world has to crumble for something else to be rebuilt afterwards. Or we start building something new now, while the old collapsing world still exists. The only certainty here, I believe, is that the old world is on its way out. And I’m not going to wait around to see which option proves itself correct, even if I, at this point, don’t know exactly what I should do, besides keep on using my writing skills to try and reach as many as possible with the little that I know or suspect.

Some thoughts and questions concerning politicians PART 4

I know that it’s not as simple as just pushing a button, when it comes getting rid of our politicians. Neither do I believe in getting rid of all of the institutions that keep things in order, even though I believe that the abolishment of any type of coercive authority is the end-goal of political evolution. 

But there are a few things that we as individuals can do: We can stop complying with laws that we don’t agree with. We can get clear about our values, so that we can start trusting ourselves more, when it comes to ethics and what to believe and think. Simply put, we can do our best to come to terms with who we are and what we stand for. What I find helpful, and which doesn’t need any deeper reflection, is the golden rule, both in its positive and negative form. In other word, both “treat others as you want to be treated” and “don’t treat others in ways that you would not like to be treated”. As far as I’m concerned, with regards to my interactions with other people and my role in society, this is the only moral code that I am required to follow, whether or not it is written into law with regard to the particular issue that I am facing. 

We can stop allowing mass-media to control our attention and instead consciously choose what to focus on. Right now we don’t know who to trust or what to believe in. But we can always work on ourselves and our character. We always have a choice when it comes to our morals, attitudes and how we conduct ourselves in the world. Our only limitations here, is or physical circumstances and how developed our characters are.

Some thoughts and questions concerning politicians PART 3

Let me propose something: What if a veil has been pulled over our eyes, making us think that we need politicians? What if in fact the politicians, together with those they truly work for (not the people!), are the very reason our world isn’t a paradise right now? What if we are all glorious children of God? What if we are all one and all connected (yes, this goes even for our rulers, even if they are among the ones that are most cut off from this connection)? What if we only need to answer to God? What if God’s authority is never based on obligation, coercion or fear of punishment? What if God’s rules, stemming from his infinite love and wisdom, are always good for us? What if God’s guidance is always available to us, in meditation, prayer, the reading of sacred scriptures or whatever other ways to connect with him that we find? What if the first step towards this connection and towards letting go of the need for worldly authorities, is to let go of the ego’s selfish, fearful wants and desires? What if the ego’s wants and desires will only lead to dissatisfaction and frustration anyway, so that we don’t ever have give up anything of true value to us? What if we just need to start stepping into our true identities, if we want to get rid of worldly rulers forever?

Some thoughts and questions concerning politicians PART 2

 “Wait a minute”, you might say. “Don’t we have a democratic process that guarantees that we have an influence over the political system?”

I don’t know how many seriously still believe this, but for argument’s sake: Do you really consider choosing what party to vote for, among a small number of real choices, in a gigantic political machinery that most people have very little understanding of, real influence? Parties that differ only with regard to a very small number of questions, while being in relative agreement on many important questions, such as surveillance, bodily autonomy, copyright, corporate influence over politics or censorship. Or why not how society should respond to a global crisis?

Parties that are not even really held accountable when it comes to the small number of questions where they do differ. Parties that function within a system where the bigger parties have their campaigns funded by tax money. Where only the bigger parties get their voices heard in the mass-media. Where the same mass-media, together with the parties, decide what questions get attention and what questions aren’t acceptable to discuss at all. In a society where social- and professional consequences prevent many people from even discussing certain issues, privately as well as publicly. 

With this in mind, can we really talk about “influence over the political system” and keep a straight face?

Spirituality, self-development and "politics"

The reason I wrote “politics” with quotation marks, is because none of the things that I talk about are really political. My “political” posts are rather an invitation to start breaking free from the whole political system together with other awakening souls, build something new, work on ourselves and our relationship with God. And this is the reason I talk about these three things in conjunction, which is the topic of this post. 

These things are, as I see it, connected. The way I see it, a huge part of the spiritual awakening, is to see through and free ourselves from the corrupt control system. And if we want to free ourselves from our corrupt control system we need to understand ourselves and spirituality. If we want to understand ourselves, we need to understand the system that is controlling us. And if we want to understand ourselves and the system that that controls us, we need to understand spirituality, because these are fundamentally spiritual matters. And so on. I hope I haven’t lost you.

Now, until a just a few years ago, I believed in struggling and fighting the system. But what I’ve now come to believe, is that we are not here to fight the system or even change the system, because the system is rotten to the core. We are here to free ourselves from the system and create a new system. A spiritual system centered around God. A system based on love and values such as freedom, connection, cooperation, equality and care. And if we want to be part of such system, we need to get clear on who we are and, with compassion towards ourselves, strive to be the best that we can be. 

I hope that I’ve made it clear why I see these things as connected.

Some thoughts and questions concerning politicians PART 1

Considering everything that is going on in the world, are our lives better or worse because of our leaders? Are they deserving of the salaries that we pay them? Or would we do better without them? Just saying…

Do you think that the world and your life is better or worse because of people like Vladimir Putin, Joe Biden, Xi Jinping, Justin Trudeau, Volodomyr Zelenskyj, Ursula von der Leyen, Emmanuel Macron, Boris Johnson, or why not Magdalena Andersson here in Sweden? Do you think that it’s better or worse to have these people in power instead of no one at all? Do you think that the people that came before them in general did a much better job? Did you ever say yes to having a government? When did you ever say yes to giving them your money in order for them to govern you? To start wars? Or shut down society so that everyone becomes depressed and the economy crashes?

If you were an employer and had employees that managed their jobs so that you actually lost money, would you let them keep their jobs? If these were the only types of employees you could find, would you keep running the company the same way, or would you rethink the whole structure?

Now, I’m of course not saying that these people, or anyone else, have no right to exist. That is the job of people in power…

But why not give them more modest salaries and create meta-verses for them, where they can play around with our non-elected, real rulers and other, less successful people with similar personalities? There they can play games that satisfy their power-hungers instead, whether this power hunger consists of sending people into war, forcing people to do things against their will, or forbidding people from doing things that they want to do but does not harm anyone. Then those of us that want to live as sovereign, free people together with God in all the multiple dimensions of the real world can do so in peace.

An attempt at making sense of what's going on in the world as humbly as I'm capable of PART 8

If I try to put my big issue with regards to modern spirituality and Christianity into words, it would sound something like this: I cannot deny that what many of the books within modern spirituality teach is true. Much of it is actually based on Hinduism from the beginning. A funny sidenote is that C.S. Lewis, the author of the Narnia books, in his theological books, said that the only valid religious choice for mature people, is between Christianity and Hinduism. Funny enough, Lewis also believed that everyone’s aim is to reach the same perfection as Christ, even if he didn’t believe that this would reach fruition during this lifetime. 

I have had many experiences with the chakra system, as well as the meridian system. I’ve also felt what Eckhart Tolle calls “the inner body”, which I would say probably is connected with the meridian system. 

I can furthermore not deny that the development in the world seems to follow the pattern predicted by those that speak of the Ascension Process. Neither can I deny that my personal experiences coincide with what others are reporting. For example, when someone says that there are heavy, burdensome energies affecting us, I tend to feel tired and sluggish as well and when the energies are light, i feel light and need less sleep. This has happened too many other times to be written off as coincidences, especially seen in the light of everything else that is going on. And as I’ve already mentioned, how I experience myself and the world has shifted in a way that is in line with what would be expected according to those that speak of the Ascension Process.

Yet furthermore, just like many others that report going through a spiritual awakening, I’ve awakened to my own shadow. I’ve started seeing one personal issue after the other in what appears to be an endless stream. Destructive habits, attitudes and beliefs that have been there all along, but which I’ve been blind to until I started to awaken. These habits, attitudes and beliefs are now suddenly blatantly obvious and causing problems in my life that I cannot ignore. Problems that get worse and worse until I deal with then. And yet, consistent with what other people are reporting, I also become more and more able to deal with my problems, even if the struggle is sometimes so hard that I momentarily sink into despair.

Those of us that have dark pasts...

I’ve done more “bad” things than most people in my past than most people. I’m not going to get into detail about this here. Not at this point. Perhaps in the future, if I feel called to do so.

Jesus said that he came not to "call the righteous, but sinners" (Luke 5:32). This, I believe, is very relevant today. Even if the second coming isn't happening as visibly as most have expected, but instead is more like a gentle tap on the shoulder. And even if the second coming might not be reserved exclusively for Christians or even Bible believers.

Now, I don’t believe in eternal damnation. But I believe that we can mess up pretty bad and I honestly have no idea what, if any, the consequences of that might be. But I believe that we always can turn around. I also believe that turning around makes us unequivocally happier, even if turning around also entails lots of pain. 

One thing that I’ve also noticed, is that it’s not as easy as just deciding to turn around. I'm stating the obvious here. But it's not just our weak wills that prevent us from leaving our destructive behaviors behind. What I've come to realize, is that every little dark action leaves its mark. Even every little dark word or thought, at least if they are related to our attitudes or behaviors, leave their marks.

Some thing begin when we are too young to be able to make the decisions that lead us into darkness. But often, the unconscious decisions that we make when we are young follow us throughout adulthood. Not seldom to our graves. 

And when we decide to turn our backs on a particular habit or behavior, it will eventually try to come back into our lives. It does so through our thoughts. The thoughts start to find justifications. The justifications can take many forms. Sometimes they tell us that what we know to be bad really is okay. Other times they say “it’s not so bad”. And yet other times, they tell us “yeah, it’s bad, but I suffer so much right now that I simply do not care, so to hell with my good intentions”. 

As soon as we, often unconsciously, start looking for those justifications, we are sure to find them. And if we’re not vigilant of what is going on inside our heads, we might end up believing these thoughts without questioning.

Get up and keep going PART 2

Had the series of events that I briefly described in part 1 happened just two years ago, I could have felt depressed for several days. And I still think that I could have handled the situation even better.

What I did right was that I let the situation go. I accepted that this was how I was feeling at the moment. And I allowed myself the luxury of breaking my positive habits temporarily and indulge in some things to comfort me. I allowed myself to feel anger, sadness and even hopelessness for a while.

I was also better than before at observing what was happening inside of me. And this time it was more clear than ever, how something inside of me wanted to hold on to the pain. To feel offended and victimized. To make the whole situation wrong. 

But when I was ready to let the emotions go, I did so. I could even, while still feeling pain, enjoy allowing myself to do things that I know are bad for me, but that I nonetheless derive pleasure from. The next time the hassles become too much, this is what I will go to immediately, but bring even more consciousness and intention into it. I’ll just accept falling as a, for the most part, unavoidable part of life, and make the best of it. And then, when I’m ready, I’ll just get up and put one foot in front of the other with my eyes firmly fixed on my goals.

Get up and keep going PART 1

I’ve had a couple of rather crappy experiences the last couple of weeks, that brought me out of balance momentarily. I’ve gotten out of my negative emotional reactions now and feel that it’s time to see what I can learn from it.

This time the straw that broke the camel’s back came in the form of a huge bill from Trafikförsäkringsföreningen, because I made a mistake. This was the latest in a series of financial backlashes that I’ve faced lately and this time it was more than I could bear.

I was going to call Trafikförsäkringsföreningen a government funded maffia organization in this post. I also called them much worse things when I talked to my wife. And I told my wife about many things that I would like to do to those that work for them. But after consideration, I’ve decided that none of these things are expressions of who I want to be.

You can struggle all you want, telling yourself that “I should be above these emotions”. But that only makes things worse. And when you are in a negative emotional state, it feels as if it’s going to go on forever. We know on some level that this is not the case. But at the moment when we’re caught up in our emotions, we don’t have access to this knowledge in any meaningful way. Instead we find ourselves in a quadruple whammy. Our emotions make us unconscious of what exactly is happening within us, since our attention is focused on resisting the emotions and the situation that caused them. All the while, more or less unconscious negative thoughts keep feeding into our negative emotions, while we cause more resistance by telling ourselves that “I shouldn’t feel this way”. And on top of that, it feels like this is the new normal. Like we are going to feel this way forever.

What I did this time, was that I basically said “f*** it!” I usually eat quite healthy and I seldom drink alcohol. But now I bought both beer and junk food. Then I drank the beers and ate the junk food together with my wife, while watching God Bless America and later when I was alone also Hesher, two movies with loads of anger and negativity in them. 

The next day I didn’t feel all that great when I woke up. But after some yoga and meditation things started to clear up.

Using the word "God"

I’m spelling “God” with a capital “G” here, because I’m talking of “God” when it is used as a name and not as a regular noun. Some, like Jehovah’s witnesses, make it important to use the right name for God as well. And they may have a point. Namely that there, as with many other aspects of reality, may be some correspondence between how the spiritual world and the physical world work here. The correspondence would be that we almost always learn a person’s name before we get to know the person, even though it’s physically possible to get to know a person without knowing his or her name. 

But this is just speculations. And just as I find it problematic to make a clear distinction between the physical and the spiritual, I also find it problematic to draw straight lines between the two areas, where one can be assumed to work just the way the other one does.

What is not so much speculation, is the fact that labels carry certain connotations. For example, if we refer to God as “source”, it might imply more of an impersonal force that everything else flows out from. If God is, as I believe, intimately personal and wants to have a personal relationship with us, this label might lead us in the wrong direction. 

I have also heard the term “the universe” being used in a way that may or may not be interchangeable with “God”. It doesn’t seem to be used in directly the same manner, but still in ways similar, as an entity that is vastly bigger than us, that interacts with us, grants us wishes and teaches us lessons. This, for me, leads to a feeling of replacing God. Of attributing communication and willful actions from God to the universe.

There are of course other examples. But these are the most common that I have found in modern spirituality. And I don’t belong to the crowd of people that aspire to live in Christ, that condemn modern spirituality. I believe that there are valuable lessons in it from many of the thinker belonging to the category. But I think that God needs to be put in the proper place here, which is at the absolute centre. Because as the intimate, personal, and at the same time omni-potent, omni-present, eternal creator of everything, God is the beginning and the end-goal of all spirituality. God has to be. 

Through choosing our thoughts we can affect how we feel tremendously PART 2

Seen from the angle described in the last post, I did something with a good intention, there was no indication that what I said caused the recipient to feel any negativity towards me and if it did, it’s not really my problem.

You can probably see how this, that was all taking place inside my head, could have gone in a completely different direction, causing all kinds of negative emotions.

Let’s take this one step further and think of the fact that this whole thing stemmed from a small conversation that I had with a person the day before. Let’s consider that there might be many of these little situations throughout the day, where we have a choice of whether we wish to believe positive or negative things about them. And whether we want to give them a positive or a negative meaning. And that all of this contribute to our over all wellbeing.

Through choosing our thoughts we can affect how we feel tremendously Part 1

This has to do with our beliefs and what meaning we give to things. There is always another possible perspective than the first one that pops into the mind.

One good example was when I started going into thoughts where I started thinking that someone at my job had disliked something I said. I said what I thought in a friendly, thought through manner though and the person didn’t give me any indication that he took it the wrong way. I know that these types of worries also stems from a very light, manageable social phobia. One which is very far from pathological and which decreases as time passes, as long as I become aware of it and challenge it when it arises. As with many things, bringing more consciousness into it automatically begins dissolving it.

So instead I chose to look at it as that I actually did something good, since what I said was actually in defence of another person and I said it in the most non-confrontative way that I could think of, while still maintaining a clear message.

An attempt at making sense of what's going on in the world as humbly as I'm capable of Part 7

Today I want to start talking about what in spiritual circles is called the Ascension Process. More specifically, I want to bring up the fact that many people right now, are reporting strange things occurring in their lives. It can be anything from seeing energies in the air, to having energy rushes throughout the body, thoughts and insights that don’t seem to come from themselves, seeing the same numbers over and over again, heightened intuition and strange synchronicities.

At the core of this is the idea that everything, including thoughts and emotions, vibrates at different frequencies. If I understand it correctly, this has some basis in quantum physics. However, I’ve only read the popularized versions of quantum physics and I guess that among researchers, there is probably som disagreement when it comes to this. Especially since the physicists themselves don’t really seem to know exactly what they’ve encountered here. 

I have already made a several posts about what has happened to me personally. You can find some of them in my series What's going on on the inside parts 1, 2 and 3. I will also make a post about biblical prophecies in the near future. Until then, there is an abundance of material on this online.

From what I’ve experienced so far, what other people say about the Ascension Process seems consistent with my own experiences. Two consistent thems, that go hand in hand, are “waking up to who we really are” and “waking up to the true nature of reality”. Another consistent theme, is that we have much more power over ourselves and our lives than we think, but that we need to train ourselves out of the reactive state that most of us operate from. Instead we need to make active, intentional choices independent of the circumstances that we find ourselves in.

Polarization

Let’s all hate Russia. Let’s all hate Putin and call him the next Hitler. Or let’s do the opposite. Let’s see everything Putin does as totally justifiable and let’s see the USA and the West as the real enemy. Let’s believe everything that the mainstream media tells us. Or everything that alternative media tells us. Or every new meme that is spread in the forums that we frequently visit. Or Russian media. Or Russian media is all propaganda while we can trust our media. Or vice versa.

And let’s hate everyone that disagrees with us and call them idiots, nazis, communists, misogynists, sheep etcetera. Because value loaded labels usually make way for a productive discussion and show that we are truly prepared to understand each other and try to take in new perspectives. It is much better to uncritically listen to those that we have been taught by society to regard as trustworthy sources, or those that our friends tell us are trustworthy, or those that we happen to agree with on other issues, instead of actually trying to understand the issue at hand with all its nuances and complexities. 

Or we could take a step back, realize that at the core we are all one, all beloved children of God, that very few of us actually want to harm anyone or deliberately believe harmful lies. We could try to feel sympathy for each others’ struggles with coming to terms with what is going on, in a world where we are more and more coming face to face, with the fact that sources that once were deemed trustworthy, have become corrupt. With the fact that no clear-cut alternative has presented itself. With the fact that power hinges on the control of perception and beliefs. That all global actors know and exploit this. Not just the ones that we happen to disagree with.

I believe that no matter what side a person is on, we need to be very cautious with people that spread hate, demonize their opponents and cast blame while completely ignoring their own shadow. This goes for all conflicts.

I also believe that in these times where it is literally impossible to know what worldly sources that we can trust, we need to first and foremost look inwards. To seek God and his guidance, because God is the only one that we always know that we can trust. As long as we look to the world for answers, we will only find more confusion. But when we start to shift by looking within and take responsibility for who we are and our part in the mess that we are in, rather than blaming others for it, others will start to shift as well. When others see our change, they will want to follow. Because this is doubtless a crucial and necessary step in human evolution. And once someone understands this, there is no going back for that person, even if he/she naturally will stumble many times along the way. And for such a person, truth becomes more and more important, while being right becomes less and less important. Because such a person will gradually come to the realization, that what is important is his/her connection with God and other people, not to force one’s will on the world. And such a connection leaves no room for lies, deception and manipulation. Such a connection is the antithesis of polarization.

An attempt at making sense of what's going on in the world as humbly as I'm capable of Part 6

If you want a good foundation for understanding what I'm talking about here, please read my posts: Identity and selective perception 1 and 2 and A way that smart people reach conclusions based on faulty premises.

In today’s post, I feel that I need to make something clear. Namely what I don’t believe in this situation that we are in and why. What I don’t believe, even if I cannot be certain of it, is that we are facing some end-times scenario where the righteous will be saved but sinners condemned for all eternity. I simply cannot in any way get this view to fit with the idea of an all-powerful, loving God. I’ve spent a great deal of time reading and thinking about this issue. I have done so, because even if I don’t believe this to be the case, I know that many people do. Some that are overall more insightful and intelligent than I am. And the idea of hell causes some fear in me, even if I don’t believe in it, simply because I cannot be sure. Considering this, I can only imagine what fear it must cause someone that actually believes in it. 

Since our beliefs and the emotions associated with them shape who we are, the words that we speak, the actions that we take, and consequently what effect we have on the world, I believe that this is an important question. Especially in these times of uncertainty that we are in that, in one way or another, are spiritual at their core.

I can ponder this forever. But the conclusion that I come to, over and over again, is that no matter how much I turn things around in my head, it is still impossible for me to reconcile hell with a loving God. If God is love and can do anything, why would God let anyone suffer for all eternity? Finite suffering I can understand. It may for example shape us into better people or prepare us for something better down the road. But eternal suffering just seems like cruelty for no reason. Often, if if you look at things that many regard as sins, because of things that we do not know or understand are trespasses. 

I know that God is infinitely more wise than humans. But unless this means that the mind of God runs totally contrary to the minds of humans, where good becomes evil, up becomes down, etcetera and vice versa, this does not suffice as an explanation either. And I don’t think that anyone would be able to defend the logical implications of such a stance. Think, for example, of what you would think of a father that would allow his child to be tortured even for five seconds. And now think of how much greater the difference is between a human and God, compared to that between a child and an adult.

For these reasons, even though I actually do believe that the answers, to a large degree, are to be found in the Bible, I at least have to reject the classical Christian interpretation of the End Times.

An attempt at making sense of what's going on in the world as humbly as I'm capable of Part 5

If you want a good foundation for understanding what I'm talking about here, please read my posts: Identity and selective perception 1 and 2 and A way that smart people reach conclusions based on faulty premises.

In today’s post, I will talk some about my personal stance in relation to what is going on right now (sorry for taking so long to get to the point…). From where I stand, I simply don’t know exactly what is going on. Just that whatever is happening, it is happening. It is not a matter of blind faith or “maybe something is happening and maybe not so let’s have a debate to see who’s right”. This, whatever it is, is real. I keep coming back to this, because this is the key thing that has to be understood. Scientific materialism has already lost the battle. It just doesn’t know it yet. Reality, not clever arguments, will inevitably prove it false. 

I’m not interested in talking about if this is happening. I’m interested in what is happening. Because maybe there is already an answer out there that is just waiting for everyone to get on board. Or we have different pieces of the puzzle that are still waiting to be put together. Or there is one truth, but it has some gaps that need to be filled.

What I can say for sure is that there is a spiritual component to reality and to the events taking place in the world. And from this it logically follows that until we know more, anything is possible. Except of course that which already can be ruled out. Which is not much, compared to the realm of infinite possibilities. 

An attempt at making sense of what's going on in the world as humbly as I'm capable of Part 4

If you want a good foundation for understanding what I'm talking about here, please read my posts: Identity and selective perception 1 and 2 and A way that smart people reach conclusions based on faulty premises.

As I hinted in the first post in this series, the way I see it, in one way or another, we have reached the end of a long road. The world will not just go back to normal and we are on our way towards something that is radically different from anything in recorded history. And even though the world is in a dark place right now, I believe that this is something wonderful. That one way or another, all will be well. Because this awakening that is happening - and it is happening - cannot be for nothing. And every time that I feel close to God, I feel nothing but love and assurance. It is only when I feel alone in my mind, hearing only my ego’s small voice, that I doubt. Of course I cannot convince anyone else about this, since this is my personal experiences and in some cases also my wife’s, since we’ve shared quite a few of them. 

But I can say this with absolute certainty: Until you start seeking God, things will continue to get darker and more painful. I know this for a fact. And in all likelihood, if you’ve started to wake up, this will resonate with you. If it doesn’t right now, perhaps you will remember this in the future when all seems to fall apart. Because turning to God is always an option, even if it is born out of desperation. “Seek and you shall find”, as famous Jesus quote says.

To conclude this post and pave the way for next post: I believe that there are a few spiritual explanations for what is going on. All can be called a form of global spiritual awakening. They can roughly be divided into three categories: Ascension, end times and the end of a cycle. “Ascension” or “The Ascension Process” is the term used in more modern spiritual circles. According to Christian terminology, what is happening would be referred to as “the End Times”. Islam and Judaism have their versions of this event. In Hinduism and Buddhism you find concept of huge time cycles. In this context, the end of a cycle is signified by cataclysmic events and the shift, just like with the Ascension or the conclusion of the End Times, results in a radically different world.

There is also one alternative that isn’t explored as often. Namely that, in spite of a seeming incompatibility, it’s a combination of two or more of these explanations.

What do you bring out in other people? Part 2

Functioning from the higher place does not always bring out the same in other people. But if it doesn’t, you will instead be able to see their mechanicalness if you stay present. And if you’re fully conscious, this should also not bring out judgment in you. Judgment is obviously never good. But judging someone else’s unconsciousness and mechanicalness is a little extra hypocritical, since judgment, as will be made clear here, by necessity only comes out when we ourselves have become unconscious and mechanical.

To remain conscious in the face of someone else’s mechanicalness is difficult though (Sidenote: I believe that there are degrees to which we can be free, conscious, in contact our higher selves etc.). At least it is for me. If you are like me, you will be tempted to see the mechanicalness as the whole truth of the person and thus dismiss him or her as nothing but mechanicalness. Because our brains have this nasty tendency of not being able to see beyond the present situation, while at the same time for the most part being lost in thoughts about the past or the future.

First: As stated earlier, most people drift in and out of various degrees of consciousness, even though there also are many that more or less are sleepwalkers. Second: you don’t know what is inside the person in front of you, that is waiting to come out. And my guess is that if you have really started to awaken into awareness, it wasn’t your own effort that made you wake up. It sure wasn’t for me. My guess is that your awakening was either triggered by something you stumbled upon by accident, some other external event, or you don’t really know how it happened. Your thoughts sort of just started to drift towards certain subjects, leading you into revelations about who you are and the nature of reality. My awakening was a combination of all of the above. 

So why would you judge someone that is in a place that they have no control over? Knowing that you could just as easily be the unconscious one? And maybe, just maybe, if you were fully in your authentic self, you would bring out nothing but authenticity in other people. I don’t know. I’ve never been there. And I suspect that when I’m fully there, I will never want to go back to my sleeping state again and I will not let any judgmental thoughts enter my mind.

Sorry if this post came out a little messy. I noticed that I had to fix a few things in it and I don’t really feel very conscious today…