Most of us carry around these heavy burdens. But we don’t talk about them, because we are ashamed. I think that people have always raised facades around them. People have always wanted to look better than they are. The only true exceptions are those that are so broken, that they see no point in trying to hide their brokenness anymore. Whether it’s one aspect of their lives that they cannot keep in the darkness anymore, or whether their whole lives are totally messed up.
There are quite a few exceptions of course. But the norm is to hide our weaknesses and amplify our strengths. Bonus points if we manage to trick ourselves into believing that we are these infallible selves that we want others to see.
When I look at myself, my thoughts, words, actions and motives, I just find more and more dirt. I’m often selfish, prideful, arrogant, narcissistic, self-centered, judgmental, sometimes manipulative and I sometimes act cowardly. Just to name a few things. But until I started to become more present, more mindful, and started to seriously look at myself, I didn’t know any of these things. And the more I see it in me, the easier it seems to be to see it in others, but without the judgment that comes from only seeing it in others. On the other hand, if I have yet to discover something that I see in others within myself, judgment often comes like a knee-jerk reaction. But I don't want it to. Because I don't want to judge others.
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