Slipping again part 1

I’m slipping again. And I will tell you about the situation in a little while. But first, I want to write down some reflections. There seems to be two quite distinct tracks that I can follow, with an almost infinite amount of smaller details within them. One leads into more ego and more suffering for both me and others. From the ego’s perspective, this track seems like the most reasonable. This is the track that wants to be right, wants me to get mine, feels offended, denies reality and struggles against it. 

The situation that has gotten me back into my old ego habits is the following: My wife’s son’s girlfriend is pregnant. The pregnancy was ill-planned for and they need a lot of support. Me and my wife already have trouble paying our bills and dedicate enough time to running our business. From a higher perspective, I’ve been able to meet this with acceptance, understanding and a willingness to help. But, when I’ve been in my ego, my response has been: they put themselves in the situation, so let them figure out how to solve it. We have enough of our own problems. 

And lately, I’ve been more in my ego again. These things go back and forth. But the ego is quite insidious and I don’t really notice that I’ve slipped, until I’m rushing down the track that I, again from a higher perspective, know that I don’t want to be on.

But what would have been the alternative? That she had an abortion? I’m not completely sure where I stand on the subject of abortion. I probably never will be. But, first and foremost, they want this child. If they can’t make it completely on their own, we have to step in and help them. If they want the child, they shouldn’t be forced to make any other choice than to have it. 

Finally, about abortion, what I can say for sure, is that I don’t believe that it is a decision that should be taken lightly, and that I think that it is something that, as far as possible, should be avoided.

Here is the thing: in scarcity easily throws one into an egoistic mode. But I believe that this should be a challenge and not something to just give into. I can’t do miracles. But if the people that are close to me need help, I should help them to the best of my ability and trust that God will work out the rest.