The “bad” news is the “depending on our choices” part. The “bad” news is that if we want to experience this, we have to do our best to stop doing what is bad for us and do more of what is good for us. We have to stop doing things that take us further away from God and do more of what brings us closer to God. Which means that we have to swallow our pride and do what God says.
This starts on the inside. With a change of attitude. With the cultivation of humility. “Humility” is one of those words whose meaning is so important. And for me, one of those words that I hadn’t really reflected on until a couple of years ago. What does it mean to be humble? It was right in front of me. I could seriously brag about this or that without seeing that I had a problem with humility. And I can still get caught up in stubbornly wanting to have my will, even when I ought to know that it shouldn’t matter much. When I ought to know that there aren’t many things in this temporary life, in this temporary world that truly matter. Not from the perspective of eternity. Which is the perspective that will gradually remove the dust from our eyes.
Will I let the world fool me, trap me and control me while I attempt to have “my” will? Or will I freely choose God’s perfect will and allow him to set me free? The choice is easy once we see it clearly. We can either grasp for the empty pleasures that the world provides. Or we can fulfill our divine purpose. Which means enjoying the creation the way God intended for us to enjoy it.
When infused with God’s spirit, our senses come fully alive. Everything feels, tastes, sounds, smells and looks better. The emotions associated with our sensations become stronger. Feel more real and meaningful.
You may ask: how can an omnipotent, omnipresent, infinite, eternal being be so personal that he has a will for each and everyone of us? And yet, this is exactly how it is. God wants to write us into his love story. We were made to love God and to be loved by God. This is the whole purpose of our existence. Sadly many of us don’t always live in a way that reflects this love. I don’t always live in a way that reflects this love.
We don’t just pray because it makes us feel good. Or because it puts us in a state where it's easier for us to believe in our ability to reach our goals. We pray because God listens to us. Because God wants to communicate with us. Because God is interested in us. Even if God already knows everything about us, he still wants us to turn to him consciously. To speak to him directly. And when we do, it changes us.
If we try earnestly, this is what we will eventually start feeling with all of our being. Not all of the time. In the beginning we will just have glimpses of this relationship. But these glimpses are so powerful that they will keep us going. We will want more of them. We will have more of them. In this life or the next one. And they will be more real and meaningful than anything we can ever experience without God.
God wants to give us everything. And all he wants in return is for us to seek his love, which is by far the best gift of all his gifts.
In a sense, finding out what God’s will is, is very simple. At least what to look for is very simple.
God’s will is simply what comes natural, when we completely stop fooling ourselves. When we truly start acting in the manner that feels best in every given situation. In other words, when we get our egos out of the way, we will see that our will and God’s will are one. If God has a will and wants what’s best for us, how could it be any other way?
We can live in a natural flow or we can go against the natural flow. Resistance or non-resistance. This can be applied to anything in life. Does what I do follow the natural flow of life or does it disrupt it? This is something that we can only know for ourselves. But it is how life operates whether we like it or not. This is God’s will. And nothing that we tell ourselves can ever change that. The big mistake that has been made with regard to this throughout history is to attach morals to it. Hence, we have made something that needs to be understood on a personal level, into collective morals and dogma, that is forced upon people by the authorities. When we understand this principle, authorities become unnecessary. Because when we understand this principle, we understand that whatever action that goes against the natural flow of life, first and foremost damages the one engaging in the action. Do I want to hurt others and myself? Or do I want to heal others and myself? Do I want to get closer to, or further away from God?
It is this simple. The difficult thing is not to understand this. The difficulty lies in letting go of our pride. It’s difficult to admit that we don’t have everything figured out. That our approach to many things comes from a need to be right and feel superior. Not from what will lead to the most happiness for everyone involved.
Furthermore, we have accumulated so much baggage, in the form the opinions and views of friends and family, that are just as- or even more confused than we are, of societal and cultural norms and expectations, habits, perceived needs and so on. Many times we haven’t really reflected on why we’ve adopted certain ideas and perspectives. It has more or less just happened. We’ve reacted to something long ago. And then we’ve used that reaction to interpret other similar experiences or information. And so it goes. Cause and effect with no real, conscious choices.
I tell myself that I want something because of one reason. But really, my reason is another. Or at least, I’m not telling myself or others the whole truth. One example that I ran into a while back, was that I tried to stay fit because of health reasons. This was partially true. But the reason was also vanity. If it wasn’t, I would have worked out differently. This realization led to the choice of changing my workouts. Which I did. I started working out in a way that focused on improving my body instead of growing muscles and shedding fat. Which led me to having more pleasurable workouts. It also led me to the realization that I was basing a far from negligible part of my self-worth on how I looked, rather than who I was. Which also has prompted me to examine other areas where I base my self-worth on things that don’t really matter.
I’ve had a taste of what is possible when I let go of my ego’s petty wants and wishes. When I, for example, let go of my pride and need to be right. When I try to meet every person, regardless of the circumstances, with love and respect. Or when I just accept what is, instead of wishing for things to be different. Or when I stop needing that other people see me a certain way. And so on. There is such a light sense of freedom in this. And yet, when I try to let go of old patterns, I’m shaken by anxiety. And even though it feels like crap, I feel such a strong pull from these habits, that I often give in to them. Even though I know that I get absolutely nothing from giving in and even though I know that the anxiety has no basis in reality.
In the end, God’s will is to live in harmony and not in disharmony. Harmony is what comes easy and natural. When we just can let go and trust, we won’t need anything else. We can put our lives fully in God’s hands. But until we are ready to do this, we will have to learn more about ourselves, struggle with ourselves and feel the pain of failure. Before we are ready to hear the voice of God on the inside all the time, we will need external sources to guide us. But remember this, even if we cannot se it from our current perspective, God and his Holy Spirit are always closer than anyone or anything in the world. The Holy Spirit will always work in our lives to the degree that we let go of our ego’s petty wishes and desires.
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