Growing through our issues

We often tend to forget that when we deal with a problem, we don’t just solve the problem. We, as people, change as well. 

Basically, the more baggage we have, the more potential for growth we have. Which is good news for me. Provided that I don’t give up. Because just as we grow every time we deal with our problems, every encounter with a problem also provides us with a reason to do just that. To give up. 

Feelings of anger, hopelessness, fear or shame, tensions, bad posture, procrastination, lack of responsibility, overeating, selfishness, difficulty handling money, low self-esteem, addiction, judgment, pride, self-deceit, difficulty staying focused. These are all issues that I either have dealt with or still have in my life. And I have dealt with all of them to some degree.

And most of them have made want to give up and curse my unconscious past, where I either unknowingly created these issues for myself, or they arose due to the circumstances that I found myself in and my inability to cope with them at the time. 

But my refusal to just live with my limitations has also made me grow a lot. Today I know myself pretty well. I’ve become more confident, less judgmental and my ability to understand other people has grown because of it. And maybe the biggest thing is that it is quite a humbling experience to be confronted with all of the dirt one has in one’s life. Even though bursts of pride still flare up in me from time to time. And humility is most definitely one of the most important qualities to grow if one wants to get closer to God. Maybe the most important. 

Seeing all of these things inside me, has also made me understand the fallen state that we are all in. And seeing my ability to handle my difficulties grow, has also given me glimpses of what God intended us to be and what we need to do to start moving in that direction. It has also allowed me to understand many of the deep psychological truths in the Bible and to understand the concept of sin in a different way from most people. Not as something that makes us bad and deserving of condemnation, but as a statement of fact regarding our brokenness and unconsciousness, and their inevitable consequences for our characters and behaviors. In seeing this, I am also trying not to beat myself up too much, as self-acceptance is important and not always easy.

By the way, did you know that sin originally means “missing the mark”?