It’s no fun admitting this. It was my wife that pointed this out to me. She feels like I’m always going somewhere. I always have something that I need to do. I can never stop to be fully present because of it. But she needs to see her part in it and put away her phone when she is with me, because it’s a constant distraction even if she isn’t always tinkering with it. It takes her attention away from me at least as much as my projects takes my attention away from her. It’s always present and at any given moment there can be a message that she has to check or even a phone call that she feels like she has to take.
Another weird thing, is that I’m able to be present when I work, meditate, dance or do yoga. But not when I’m just simply enjoying myself or the company of others. Because then I always have something productive that I could be doing in the back of my mind. And if what I’m enjoying costs money, this too is in the back of my mind.
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