Listening as a spiritual practice

After a long journey, exploring loads of esoteric subjects, I’ve come to realise that much of what is going on in our everyday lives can be spiritual practices if we approach it the right way. Our "ordinary" lives pass us by because they are always present. We don't see the magic that is right in front of us or the possibilities for transformation that it holds.

In Herman Hesse’s Siddharta, one of the final things that Siddharta has to learn is listening. Of course, Siddhardta didn’t just listen to other people. He just listened, without putting on the filter of thoughts that we normally do. And perhaps it’s easier to listen to the world than to other people. But that’s beside the point. 

The point is that to really listen, we have to open up. We have to go beyond ourselves and meet another person where he or she is. And we have to resist the impulses to interrupt to tell about our own experiences and/or give advice. And if we are going to give advice, we have to truly listen to the person, to know if it’s appropriate to give advice and, if so, how to give it so the the person will be able to take it to heart. 

And when listening to something that we don’t like to hear, whether it’s warranted or not, we have to learn not to react to our emotions. We have to be humble enough, to try and hear if the other person has a point to what he or she is saying. We have to watch ourselves and how we behave in the conversation.

The more objective our stance is, the better listeners we become.

Once we realise that listening is a skill that can be acquired many things change. Because it is a skill that most definitely can help us grow spiritually. We can become less arrogant and more humble by learning to listen. We can get out of our own self-centeredness and we can become more open and compassionate towards other people.

A thought struck me while writing this post as well. Perhaps the saying the “how we do one thing is how we do everything” is especially true when it comes to listening. I think that there are a few striking examples of this in my own life. I can be very thorough and engaged in the things that I do in general, just as I can be a good attentive listener. But more often than I would like, I lose focus on what I do and become sloppy. Just as I sometimes zone out and go into my own thoughts when I listen to someone. And I’m often (but not always) a good listener when someone comes to me with a problem. I don’t judge and I try to consider what the person needs. But the more the problem affects me, the less patient I become with the person. And the more prone I become to give unsolicited advice. It’s the same with events in life in general. I’m pretty good with fixing things that don’t affect me. But the closer to home that a problem or challenge hits, the harder it becomes for me to not get emotional, start resisting what is and mess it up because I’m not thinking clearly anymore. 

I didn’t expect that las section to come out. But now it did and I’m glad that I chose to listen to it… We of course need to become better at listening to ourselves as well. And I believe that we become better at listening to ourselves, by becoming better at listening to others.