Getting stuck in one approach

This has been coming up a lot lately. All of the examples are pretty boring, so I’ll just pick one. If you just want to point, you can skip to the last paragraph. 

Basically I’ve been doing stuff where I've gotten stuck in one approach to them. And I’ve felt pretty stupid when I’ve realized that I could do them another way. 

So, here comes the boring example: At my job, I was assigned to glue a smaller thing to a bigger. For some reason, the thought entered into my mind, that I had to put the glue on the bigger thing, which meant a lot more work and so on. Long story short, it would have been a lot more work. When I told a co-worker this, I was informed that I could just put the glue on the smaller piece. 

As I said, I’ve been finding myself in many similar situations lately. And I wonder how many more there are in my life, where I waste time and energy because I form a mental picture of how it has to be done and therefore exclude all of the other options.

Another thing that separates different types of creativity

I’ve already spoken about passion. But another thing is whether the creativity is personal or not. Do I come out (no matter how imperfect I am) in that which I create? Do I express what is authentically inside of me? Only the creator of a piece can answer this question. In the end, I believe that the only true creative expression, is the one that is guided, in different degree, by the hand of God.

The devil is real... part 2

So, whether the Devil is an actual being or not, we still have to do the same battle with him. I’m sure that there is a life after this one, in some way. But maybe we should focus on what we can do in this life, instead of worrying about punishments or rewards in the next. Maybe heaven and hell is a trap, that makes us more focused on what we can get our of the afterlife, instead of how we can improve and help others in this one.

Ask yourself this: if you know that there is a God and an afterlife, that God loves you and is infinitely wiser than you are, do you really need the promise of rewards and punishments to want to do his will? With the question posed this way, I think the answer is pretty simple.

The Devil is real... part 1

…at least in some way. Is the Devil is an actual entity or not? I don’t know. But he definitely lives inside of us in the form of the ego. He is the one that rather has us accuse others, than look at ourselves. The one that has us boasting about our accomplishments, instead of humbly thanking God for giving us strength and guidance. He is the one that makes us angry and frustrated about all the things that we don’t have, instead of being thankful for the things that we do have. And he is the one that makes us doubt that there is more to life than the brief time that we spend here on earth and therefore makes us believe that we need to take as much as possible before we die. 

My slow insights

There is something strange going on in the world. I see it out there and in my life. And for some, everything seems to fall into place fast. For me, it has been a very slow ride. Partially, it’s because I’m very cautious about believing things that I don’t have sufficient reasons to believe. I don’t know if this is always a good thing. Because I believe that it often gets in my way of letting go and just trust. 

Another, definitely more negative reason, is that I’ve been dragging my heels when it comes to my self development. I’ve been slipping back into old habits, procrastinated and made excuses for it. 

But maybe this is how it should be. You see, I’m going through some sort of spiritual process. Within Spiritual / New Age circles, there is talk about the Ascension Process, which is supposed to be a global shift in consciousness. I’ve been studying this a lot, because there is something big happening. But it could also be the apocalypse. The one in the Book of Revelations. It could be both (this is what I’m leaning towards), because it is by no means certain that the darker aspects of the Book of Revelations are to be taken literally. Apocalypse means something akin to unveiling or disclosure (the literal translation is “from cover”, which makes little sense unless you know the intended meaning).

The most common scholarly approach, is that it was written in a cryptic way to pass under the radar of oppressive Roman authorities. This I believe to be at least partially wrong, but I won’t get into detail about it. I just believe that it’s worth bearing in mind when our speculations start to move towards some violent end of everything.

So, why did I suddenly fly off into this area? Well, because I want to document, as truthfully as possible, the process that I’m going through. Because something is definitely happening with me. And with other people. And the world. And maybe things in my process are just the way they should be. Maybe they are slow, so that I really have time to see what is going on and analyse it. So that I can truly see all the pitfalls that I fall into, why I fall into them, what they mean and how they affect me. 

And maybe I won’t be able to speak to people that find the more esoteric stuff hard to swallow, unless I’m truly one of those people. Just a thought.

Energy management

Quite a few people that I listen to talk about that money problems essentially comes down to a problem in energy management. I figured that there might be something to it but haven’t given it much thought beyond that. But if I suspect that this might be at the core of one of my biggest stumbling blocks, I should probably give it some thought. 

Another idea that comes up frequently, is that how you do one thing, is how you do everything. And what I’ve realized is that I often don’t work smart. If I’m in the gym, I lift as heavy as possible and till fail in every set. When I need to get something done fast, I simply push through without thinking of what I’m doing. This usually result in a couple of things. What I’m doing ends up taking longer time because I didn’t think of the most efficient way of doing it. I get stuck because I run into some difficult problem and have already wasted my mental energy. And afterwards, I have to deal with a bunch of problems because I’ve done a sloppy work. 

When it comes to eating, I’m usually rather strict. But now and then I binge out on junk food and candy. 

So, I’m thinking that if I balance out my energy a little bit, I will be able to both have a more consistent energy level, enjoy life more and resist urges. I can enjoy some chocolate now and then, without adding significantly to my weight, feeling lethargic because of over-eating or feel guilty because I know I’m doing something to my body that I shouldn’t.

So, therefore I believe that energy management comes down to treating both the energy that goes into the body and the one that goes out of it in a smarter way. I need to work smarter and adjust the type of work that I do to where I currently am. When I fore example get home from work, I should probably focus on easier tasks and leave the more difficult ones to when I’m not worn-out. 

When it comes to what is going in to the body, I need a good balance between treating food as fuel and pleasure. I maybe shouldn’t eat the most unhealthy stuff. But some chocolate and nuts in moredate amounts once or twice per week might not be that bad. It was a long time ago that I believed in asketism, but sometimes I think that I have some residue from that period of my life left in me.

What it all comes down to, I guess, is to be conscious of what I’m doing, not rush things and do things in a thought-through manner. I also need to negotiate a bit with my ego and throw it a bone now and then, preferably according to a fixed schedule and in fixed amounts. In this context, it means to eat candy moderately and on fixed days. But it can of course be applied to alcohol, movies, TV-series etc. There should probably also be some room for completely letting go if I truly and honestly feel like it some time. But NOT ON A REGULAR BASIS. 

If I take the stance just described towards pleasure, I will also probably be able to enjoy my pleasures more, without feeling guilty about it. Let’s see how all of this works.

Improving a little every day

I’m going to go ahead and begin this post by quoting my father: “I’m an expert at stating the obvious.” But if this is so obvious, why don’t we do it?

I believe strongly that, no matter where we are, if we do a little something every day to improve ourselves and our lives, something amazing will eventually happen. It doesn’t have to be much. It certainly doesn’t have to be more than we can handle, or even be comfortable with. The will to make those bigger changes will come gradually. And there are so many things to do this. We can improve our habits, our environment, how we treat other people etcetera. And the improvement can be as little as always smiling and adding a little feeling when we wish the clerk at the store a nice day. Try it! It works!

Obsessive thoughts

I

I’ve noticed that my thoughts get obsessive over certain things. These thoughts have a peculiar character. Because it is as if I come under a spell. They seem undeniably true and I find numerous signs that confirm them. While I’m under their spell, my mind keeps coming back to them over and over again, I become absent-minded and they fill me with a strange, anxious, restless energy. 

Yet, what often happens is that something happens that breaks their spell and suddenly they seem no more real than any other thought. 

I wonder what other such things go on in my mind that I haven’t really put my finger on.

I'm not here to be perfect part 3

Knowing what I know about God’s existence is a joy, infinitely more powerful than any grief that could potentially strike me. God exists, I’m loved by God and I’m going to live forever, in all likelihood with everyone I’ve ever cared for and perhaps a bunch of other interesting people that I’ve never met. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get to meet C.S Lewis, Carl Jung, St. Augustine, P.D Ouspensky and of course Jesus. And my other heroes. And as far as I understand it, I don’t have to do anything to deserve it. In fact, I can’t do anything to deserve it. Because I am a sinner and I live in a fallen state. I’m weak, confused, full of self-deception and if it came down to actions, I would be lost. Potential rewards and punishments don’t have any place in this equation. Once I’m certain that God exists, that he loves me, that he, contrary to me, sees everything with absolute clarity and wisdom, anything other than doing my best to align my will with his will, would be totally illogical, unreasonable and insane.

I'm not here to be perfect part 2

You see, somewhere I know that I’m here to be loved by God for who I am. God’s approval is the only approval that really matters. Yet, it is so easy for me to fall back into wanting people to see me a certain way. I think it has something to do with that I haven’t really grasped that I now know for a fact that God exists. It’s like the opposite of when a horrible tragedy strikes. You grasp what has happened intellectually. You know that it’s all true and real. And yet, you are unable to take it in. It’s too big. Too overwhelming. Too unfathomable.