An alternative VISION to the one of the TYRANTS PART 4

TO PART 3.

If you’ve read my previous blog posts in this series you should have seen two common threads that intertwine in them. The first is that, depending on what we believe about God and spirituality, our priorities should change. Not because of a hope for a reward or fear of punishment, but because it just seems silly to try and get as much wealth and power for ourselves in this life, or experience as much pleasure as possible, when know that we are going to live forever with God. 

The second thread is that there is a right and a wrong way of acting. Objectively speaking. Because God has created a natural order. And knowing this, it should be self-evident that we want to strive to act in the right way. 

If these two propositions are correct, people that believe in them should be able to come together in a spirit of harmonious cooperation.

It’s not that people that believe these things will automatically agree on everything. We don’t have to. Disagreements don’t have to lead to hostility. We can cooperate and respect each other anyway. It’s just our egos that die a little bit when we recognize that we don’t always have to be right. We don’t die from not being right. Even if it may feel like it.

What if we could live in a world where the norm was that we took care of each other? What if we could live in a world where we did our best not to judge each other? What if we could live in a world where everyone freely contributed to making things better, while no one was forced to do anything that they didn’t want to? What if we could live in a world where everyone focused on what truly mattered to them? Where everyone was given the opportunity to do so.

I believe that we can create such a world. Not immediately of course. In the beginning, such a world will just be possible in small places, where likeminded people come together and decide to build the first steps towards such a world. 

Now I’m going to go ahead and single out a group of people that I believe is causing all of our problems. It’s not one of the groups that normally get singled out. I would never do that. 

No, I’m talking about people that, in one way or another, want to force their will on others. I don’t believe that these people have any place on the right side of history. One obvious exception is when someone stops someone else from forcing their will on someone. And of course I’m not talking about when someone willingly obeys someone else.

You may think that I’m talking about a utopia as unreachable as any other utopia in history. But we are many that are going through a shift on the inside right now. Some are showing signs of it outwardly. But I believe that this process, for most people, is still in its infancy. Many probably don’t even understand what is happening to them yet, until something makes them look up “spiritual awakening”. And even then they will be faced with loads of contradictory ideas. I honestly don’t know exactly what it is. I’ve been led to Christianity, which most people don’t seem to have been.

We are obviously on different stages of our individual awakenings. We may also have very different beliefs about what is happening. And our certainty about these beliefs may vary. But no matter where we are, to me there is no doubt that we’re supposed to come together. That we’re supposed to cooperate and build something wonderful. Something that is based on freedom, growth and cooperation, rather than coercion, crisis-management and oppression. 

In the end it comes down to making a shift from focus on what others do, to taking personal responsibility. Mainly in two ways. Taking personal responsibility for our own lives and growth. And personal responsibility for our role in the collective. Not because someone forces us to or even says that we should because we are bad people if we don’t, but because we know that this is right. Because we know that this is the way forward, if we want to create sustainable happiness and prosperity for both ourselves and those that are affected by our actions.

As for the tyrants, we don’t need to fight them. We just need to resolutely refuse to do as they say. Then we offer something better than what they suggest. Build something better than the world that they envision. 

An alternative VISION to the one of the TYRANTS PART 3

To PART 2.

In the two last posts in this series, I will talk about what I believe to be the future of us that want to build a better world. Those of us that don’t seek to dominate others, and don’t just want to manage problems as best we can in an ever more troubled world.

The questions that I will first ask you to ponder have everything to do with this, which I hope that you will see as the blog post progresses.

What is it that truly matters to you? How do you want to spend your time here in this world?

Many people go through their lives without taking such questions seriously. Or they believe that such questions become irrelevant because they drown in our everyday struggles. Questions of how to keep one’s head above the water, consume and build some security take precedence.

So, here’s what I want: To help waking people up and break free from the control system that preys on our lower natures. I want to give my contribution to an alternative vision of the future. One that is built on personal responsibility and voluntary cooperation instead of coercion. One that has meaningfulness, freedom and the striving towards something higher as its foundation.

Now, I’m still struggling with lots of things. I haven’t figured the human condition out completely. But I’m seeing things now, that I was blind to just a few years ago. I understand things about myself, about the world and my relation to it, that I’ve been clueless of for the vast majority of my existence on this planet. And the more I dig, the more I find.

Until I started to wake up, a little over fifteen years ago, nothing in my life seemed really real. And it wasn’t until about five years ago, around the time when I met my wife, that things really started to fall into place. 

Even though I do feel the constraints of everyday life, I use much of my sparetime to explore spirituality and try to understand what is going on. Because in this I’ve found something that I know to be absolutely true, even if I don’t know exactly what I have found yet.

What I also know, is that if others would see what me and my wife have seen, their priorities would likely change too. Their egos might resist it at first. I know that mine did. And still does. But the real me, the one that holds my real wishes and desires, knows that I want to seek God and be part of something bigger than me. That this is undeniably what is truly important to me.

I know that this whole series contains lots of pretty words. But during my lifetime I fully intend to put my money where my mouth is. Or die trying. Because I refuse to let the trivialities of modern life have the last say when it comes to my existence on this earth. And honestly, life is only as trivial as we make it.

If I fail, I hope that I at least will have learned something when I leave this life and move on to what comes after.

Today I know that there are people in powerful places that have an entirely different vision. One that cannot be described with any other words than “tyranny” or “slavery”. They fly private jets and eat luxury meals while preaching to the rest of the world about how we need to live more sustainably. Which clearly means more oppressive control, radically less freedom, more surveillance and in general radical changes for everyone but our overlords.

Some will cheer on as this happens, others will live in denial until it’s entirely impossible to do so, and yet others will join their agenda because they won’t think that they have a choice. 

But I know that we can do better than just try to manage our problems as best we can. Because I know that we are so much more than what we have been led to believe. If more and more of us start to make conscious choices, we can create something that is infinitely better than what we’ve ever had. 

TO PART 4.

Nicoll's The New Man and concept of rebirth

An alternative VISION to the one that the TYRANTS want PART 2

To PART 1.

The question ought not to be: “How can I change the world?” or “How can I change other people?” The question ought to be: “How can I change myself?”

Because as far as I can tell, most of us are pretty confused about basics, such as who we are and what we truly want. 

So why not start here, with the individual and the individual’s understanding of him/herself and the human condition?

Whenever manmade disaster strikes, you can always trace it back to someone wanting to force their will on someone else. Every time! Whether it’s overt coercion through violent force or quiet coercion through propaganda and taxes that are meant to alter people’s behavior, is in my estimation just a matter of degree.  

How about we just stop doing that and see what happens?

We’ve had many utopian visions in the past and they’ve never worked. But there is one we haven’t tried yet. And that is to build utopia one individual at a time, not through coercion, but through understanding of ourselves and our condition. 

I think that the time is ripe for such a vision and I’m not alone. This is not really a new idea either, even if I think that our understanding of ourselves today is new. At the core, this is classical liberalism, albeit a spirit-centered one. And I think that we actually got it right with classical liberalism. It’s the neo-liberal version that has turned liberalism into an abomination. 

I believe that peaceful anarchy, as far as earthly rulers go, is the natural end-goal of our political development. But it has to be a gradual process, where we get used to gradually more freedom and responsibility, while freely allowing God and Jesus to take control.

Again we are coming back to the individual. Focus on the individual is a natural consequence both of Christianity and of liberalism. Ultimately we should be as free and responsible for our own destinies as possible. And a well-functioning individual that has his/her priorities sorted out, should also naturally want to take on as much responsibility as possible for others and for the world at large. Without anyone having to force him/her to do so. 

And here we naturally come back to the question of meaning and trust in God. Because if we believe in a personal God that has a will for us, it follows more or less naturally that there is a natural way of functioning. That if we find out what this way of functioning is, we will gradually become a positive and not a negative force in the world. And if we believe this to be the case, it must follow that this is an important aim for each and everyone of us. To do our best to become the way God intended us to be. It is vital to our own wellbeing, as well as to other people and the world in general.

We are at a turning point right now. Because we understand more of our psychology and human nature now than ever. We also understand how changeable we are. Therefore we don’t have to accept our animalness as it is. We are more than animals. There is something higher in us. Something that is made in the image of God. 

So there is much hope on the horizon. But we are also facing what I would call our greatest threat so far. And I’m not thinking about what most people think when they hear such a statement. I’m much more hopeful about problems that we don’t seem to have control over than most. 

What worries me are those that want total control under the guise of wanting to save the planet. What worries me is the ideology of political correctness that is taking over the minds of mainly young people. An ideology that seems to be pushed heavily by the same people that seek to control us. 

What worries me is the nihilism and hopelessness that is so prevalent among people that don’t have a belief in something higher and only see a bleak future. What worries me are all the conveniences of modern society, that make people numb, sedated and lazy. 

What worries me is how our ever move soon is surveilled. What worries me is how algorithms govern our behavior. What worries me is that we get more or less the same policies no matter who we vote for. What worries me is that freedom more and more becomes equivalent with freedom to do what is bad for us, freedom from moral restraint and freedom to force others to go along with our beliefs. 

And what worries me is that all of the worries above, seem to fit into one and the same agenda?

If we truly want to be free, it’s pretty obvious that we cannot allow someone else to set the parameters for how we use our freedom. 

You are free… To eat as much processed junkfood as you want, drink yourself to death, watch pornography, decide what gender, or even age you are, have as much casual sex with strangers as you want in any way you want, as long as it is consensual, watch whatever mindless entertainment you want or mindlessly scroll on your phone all day.

Of course I’m not saying that any of these things shouldn’t be allowed. And maybe some would choose some of them even if they truly knew who they were and what they wanted. But we don’t know that, since most of us are more or less strangers to ourselves. Strangers that are influenced by all kinds of factors beyond our control, whether it’s from our own psyches or from manipulators in our society.

And while I believe that you should be allowed to do whatever you want with your own life, provided that you are an adult, as soon as you want to force others to do or say things, you overstep a moral boundary. And as soon as you start manipulating others into a certain behavior, you are also stepping over a moral boundary. 

I’m not alone in my views by the way. There are many public figures, such as Jordan Peterson, Russell Brand and Joe Rogan, that believe the same thing. Admittedly people that are considered controversial by the mainstream. But isn’t it the mainstream that has become extreme? 

So, to reiterate: We stand before a unique time in history. What this time means and where it will end no one may know for sure. But if I’m right, what is needed is an internal revolution. One that entails that each and everyone of us start to take responsibility for ourselves and for our choices. That each and everyone of us start seeking what is higher and let go of all that which corrupts and enslaves us. No matter how far we have fallen, there is something noble and good inside of us that is calling on us. If we embrace this, we embrace meaning and dignity. If we persist, we can day by day become forces for good in the world. We will more and more naturally gravitate towards creation instead of destruction. This will happen both on an individual and a collective level. These levels are intertwined. But it always has to begin with the individual. It has to be freely chosen.

We are so much more than intelligent, pleasure seeking animals. It’s time that we recognize this and start to aim for what God intended for us.

To PART 3

An alternative VISION to the one of the TYRANTS PART 1

Beliefs matter. And beliefs about the fundamental nature of reality matter in a fundamental way.

When I found my faith in God it changed everything for me. I still have a lot of things to figure out when it comes to it. And there has been lots of struggles over the years. Struggles with behaviors and habits that I didn’t want to recognize as problematic. But I can confidently say that I would be in a very different place in my life if I hadn’t found my faith. 

At the core of this was the shift of going from viewing life as meaningless, to viewing life as permeated with meaning. 

In a sense, our beliefs truly create our reality. Because we act on our beliefs and our actions create our reality, both on an individual and a collective level. 

Right now many consider us a burden on the planet. We often hear that there are too many people. Many consider humanity a problem that has to be solved. Some even go so far that they think that it would be better if humanity was wiped from the planet. 

I think that such conclusions are easy to come to, when you see a world devoid of an ultimate meaning. And it’s obvious why you would dismiss the idea of such a meaning. People look at all expressions of religion spirituality and say: “where is the evidence?” But slapping the label “belief without evidence” on all religion and spirituality, and thereby dismissing it, is beyond narrow minded. I will get back to why I believe this to be the case in a moment. So please bear with me.

Now, what if a higher meaning is what our future is dependent on? I keep coming back to this over and over again: It’s either freedom in God or some sort of tyranny. On a personal level, we can freely choose to live as God intends, or we will be ruled by our instincts and impulses. And on a collective level we can either put our trust in those that claim that we need stricter regulations to save the planet. Those that say that we need to be monitored, manipulated, taxed and forced into compliance. Or we can put our trust in God. In that he will not let us perish from problems that seem to require unacceptable solutions. Solutions that may not work anyway, I might add. Because we have never been very good at predicting what our measures lead to.

When we have faith in a higher meaning and a life after this one, our perspective shifts. We no longer need to take what we can during our brief, meaningless existence. Because we have something in our lives that is infinitely more important than the sensory gratifications that this short life has to offer.

Said hunt for kicks and empty sensory gratifications was more or less my life, up until I was twenty-three, which was the time when I embraced faith. You may think that I could have been a decent person anyway. Because quite frankly, I wasn’t. What I'm trying to do here, is not to excuse bad behavior. What I want is to show you how my beliefs affected my approach to life.

Now, I think that the kind of nihilistic lens that I viewed life through is much more common than people realize. It’s just that most people don’t spell it out for themselves and live out its consequences as much as I did. Because I was quite clear about my views and their consequences for how I chose to live my life. 

The impulse is still there though, even in many that don’t consciously embrace nihilism as a philosophy. And it guides their actions and allegiances. 

As for finding meaning in religion and spirituality, I understand the whole idea of that the burden of proof falls on the shoulders of the one that claims something. But isn’t that the world is only what we can perceive with our five senses also such a claim that needs to be proven? And isn’t the testimony of countless people throughout the ages, that swear that something higher exists, worth anything in this context? Since subjective experience is the foundation of our being in this world, can we really dismiss it? 

Admittedly, the difficult thing with subjective experience, is that unless it can be tested somehow we only have people’s words. On the other hand, testimonies are used as evidence in trials all the time.

In this case, the testimonies may not point clearly towards one particular view or interpretation of a reality beyond our physical. But they do point to the fact that there is such a reality. 

You may even partially see this blog as a testimony of this kind. Because since I met my wife almost five years ago, we have had some really strange experiences together, that have confirmed the faith that I’ve been carrying for seventeen years now. 

This is the crux of the matter. Today me and my wife and many others know that there is a spiritual side to reality. We know that God exists, even if we sometimes have a hard time putting our trust in God, at times when life’s difficulties seem insurmountable. Because of the nature of our existence, there is no way of proving that God or this spiritual reality exist. But I know. My wife knows. Many other people know. Contless other people throughout history have known. Because our experiences tell us this, in no uncertain terms.

Throughout this text, I think that I have made a pretty strong case for the idea that the belief in God changes how we act in the world. Because our priorities ought to change when our beliefs change. Fundamentally it’s the difference between a perspective of finitude and meaninglessness, contra one of infinity and meaningfulness. And ultimately it’s a choice about what to put our faith in. 

To PART 2.

Being introduced to ourselves and our egos

One of the most important insights on a spiritual journey, is that we have an ego. To begin understanding what the ego is. That this ego is something absolutely real and paradoxically an illusion at the same time. And that this ego is not our real selves. But also that we have a real self, which is the self that God intended for us to be.

One of the fundamental characteristics of this ego, is its lack of free will. Things happen in the world and the ego reacts to them, while deluding itself that it is making free choices. 

Lately both me and my wife have gone through rather rude awakenings. We’ve both become aware of behaviors that we were unable to see in ourselves, even though they were quite clearly visible. We discovered them in our interactions with each other. But we had to discover them for ourselves. When any one of us pointed things out to the other, it only resulted in defensiveness. Keep this in mind as you read on. Because just as this is true in relationships, it’s also true in other areas of life.

In some ways it was a bit easier for me to see these things, but not because of any flattering reasons. It has something to do with the quote from Jesus that he came not to “call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:32). While my wife has, for the most part, been a kind and well-ordered person, I’ve engaged in actions, words and thoughts that have been blatantly abhorrent. 

The point is that when we don’t stray too far from what is considered socially acceptable behavior, it’s harder to see our errors. Both because we constantly check our behavior against cultural norms and because we receive feedback from the people around us. 

This, by the way, ought to be a cause of concern, when cultural norms start to drift towards full acceptance and even celebration, of destructive behaviors. But we must never make the mistake of pointing fingers towards particular individuals or groups. If anything, we need to criticize our culture and the effects that our cultural values have on people. We always need to do it from a place where we first and foremost look at ourselves and what we are doing to contribute to the current situation. And whether our criticism comes from a genuine place, or from the ego, is not a simple matter.

When observing my and other people’s egos in action, I’ve noticed that it often adopts one of two ways of operating in the world. Either it wants to be totally free to follow whatever whim that currently holds it in its grasp. Thus it becomes a slave to desires and instincts. Which makes it a slave to the world.

Or it adopts a rigid belief system and navigates through the world using this system. Thus it escapes the tyranny of our animalness, but instead becomes a slave to a particular way of thinking and perceiving. 

And the thing is that both of these ways of functioning usually results in us pointing fingers towards others, rather than looking at ourselves. Because our belief systems give us a sense of moral superiority. This often, in turn, leads to a confused mess of wanting others to respect our freedom of expression, while at the same time conforming to our standards of what our egos have deemed as “right”.

To wrap this up, I want to go back to the core of the message of this blog post. Namely that we are usually blind to our own behavior and that we seldom make truly conscious choices. This is so crucial if we wish to understand our condition. We may, on the surface, be good, upstanding people. We may be well-adjusted and get along fairly well with other people. But it doesn’t mean that we are free. There may be all kinds of selfish, or even destructive, motives hiding behind our words and actions. We may be playing out pre-determined scripts , that make us just react to our experiences. 

Why did Jesus say: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them” (Matthew 5:17)? Because what Jesus did abolish, was blind obedience. Blind obedience that was necessary while humanity was in its infancy. But and obedience that would gradually be replaced by a life lived from a changed inside. A changed inside that transcends words and commands, but which still can be checked against one’s willingness and ability to do what is right. And if we want this inner transformation to take place, we need to take our focus from what other people are doing. Instead we need to shine the light on ourselves. 

This is at the core of what Jesus taught and there is no other way out of our problems. We can kick, scream, protest and feel offended and mistreated. We have the right to do this. And there are for sure things that we need to refuse to cooperate with if we want to avoid tyranny. But when we try to force our wills on the world and other people, rather than looking at ourselves, we only dig ourselves deeper into a hole. This is how it is whether we like it or not. And facts don’t care about feelings or opinions. 

What is the alternative? If we just make everyone think and act a certain way everything will be fine? How has that approach worked so far?

The more I let go, the better my life seems to work

Life is full of distractions. Have you noticed that? The world is full of things that occupy our minds. Things that we attach importance to. And the more we hold on to those things, the more messy things get. I feel that I’ve gone through some sort of shift with this lately. But be that as it may, tomorrow I may very well be caught up in all of the little petty problems of life again. 

And that is what they are. Petty problems. Petty concerns. Petty needs. Petty wants. This is what we all so easily get caught up in. Things have to be a certain way for us to be happy. And we worry about a tomorrow that we know nothing about. 

What should I eat? What should I drink? Will I be able to pay my bills? Will I be able to put food on the table? 

And these are real concerns for many people. From a global perspective, it’s real concerns for most people. But is it for me? Is it for you? Would it really have to be for anyone, if each and every one of us took responsibility for getting our priorities straightened out? I'm obviously not talking about being perfect at this. Just about bringing some consciousness into such matters.

This is the world that we are creating together. And uneven distribution seems to be built into the way that life itself functions. Because more or less everywhere, both in the human and animal world, resources seem to be unevenly distributed. And there seems to be no political solutions to this. The only difference between left and right seems to be how the inequality arises. In liberal, capitalist systems we get an uneven distribution through the market. In socialist systems the political class, and/or those that have so much money that they can pay their way out of any regulations, get the biggest share.

And we often seem to make things worse with loads of mindless doing. Mindless doing that is intended to solve our problems. But that instead push things in the opposite direction from what we say that we want.

Why am I talking about this? Because there is a place where we haven’t looked for solutions yet. At least not on a larger scale. This might also be the place that truly separates us from the rest of the creation.

This place is within. What good could that possibly do? Well, we’ve tried everything else and the world is still in chaos. More so than ever. At least during the past few years. Even though, materially speaking, life is better than ever. 

There seems to be a false and a true personality inside of us. The false one is more or less what is usually referred to as the ego. This false personality is governed by instincts. And it has all these requirements that it needs to have fulfilled in order for life to be good. Those requirements are not something that we have chosen consciously. We have just more or less randomly reacted to the external world. 

Maybe if we take a step back and start to figure ourselves out a bit, instead of running around frantically trying to solve everything that we perceive as wrong, we might actually be able to do something good. If we start separating what is false from what is true inside ourselves. Because maybe there is some truth to the statement: “As within, so without”. 

And to make it clear, we are part of something so much grander that our little thoughts cannot begin to comprehend it. And yet we are so caught up with our thinking. I don’t know exactly what is happening in the world. Only that it’s big. Really big. 

And even if I did find all of the answers that I’m seeking, I’m more or less certain that I could not describe it in words. I know that life and the world are so much more than we can comprehend with the five senses. I know that whatever it is, we are going through some sort of shift on the planet right now. I also know that it has something to do with the Bible and Biblical prophecies. But I also know that I and everyone else only have begun to scratch the surface of things. 

Something that I’ve learned through experience, is that we are all connected through some sort of energy field that runs through us all. And the more I say yes to my experience and stop resisting what is happening in the present moment, the more I can feel it. In other words, the more I let go, the better things get. The more I stop demanding that the world gives me what I want, the more blessing I receive freely. 

So maybe it’s time to stop worrying and start trusting. I’m saying this as much to myself as to everyone else. If we truly believe in God, that God is who he says he is and that everything is in God’s hands, maybe we also need to adopt an attitude that matches this belief. This goes for both our personal issues, as well as the global problems that we are facing today. Maybe if we start looking within and just stop doing the things that we know we should stop doing, this will be enough. Maybe solutions to what seems to be out of our control will present themselves effortlessly. Without the need for a tyranny and forced compliance. 

Maybe what we need is not more force, but more letting go. More focus on the essential, while we ignore what is unimportant or out of our control. And I don’t know about you, but when I look at my days I find so much junk that occupies my awareness. Where would I be today, if I had determined to not allow these things to distract me? Where would you be? Where can we be in a year, if we decide this right now? In ten years?

Being both okay and not okay at the same time

I’ve been thinking about this idea that we have to learn to love ourselves lately. And I want to make some sense of it. Because in one sense we need to be friends with ourselves. We need to face where we are with as much acceptance as possible. If we just keep castigating ourselves over past mistakes the commentator inside our heads will become an enemy and a tyrant. And we don’t need more of those.

But it’s not good to ignore our flaws either. We in all likelihood need to be a bit harsh with ourselves. Because we have in all likelihood become too comfortable. The modern world does that to most of us. Unless we make conscious choices to not allow it. And the situation in the world today demands that we are everything that we can be. 

I believe that the love that we have for ourselves is the only one that, rightly, cannot be unconditional. This may sound a bit harsh, but I think that it’s only logical. At least if we talk about self-love in the true sense, and not the kind of narcissistic self-love that is often promoted in society today. This is because even though we have an endless capacity for self-deception, we still have potential access to everything inside of us. Everything that motivates our actions. And somewhere we know, even if that knowing never reaches the surface of our consciousness. We know when we are lazy. We know when we avoid confronting our problems. We know when we are selfish. We know when we are trying to manipulate others and the world, so that we get what we want without having to work for it. We know when we are making excuses and rationalization. And we know damned well that we, eventually, are the ones that are going to have to pay for it.

Most of us are not victims of circumstances. For the vast majority of us, the situations that we are in are direct consequences of our choices and actions. And our choices and actions are consequences of how we have take care of our inner lives. And our inner lives are greatly affected by our experiences, even though we have quite a lot of room when it comes to how we respond to our experiences. And our experiences are to a large degree determined by our choices and actions and the situations that they put us in. And so it goes. Around and around. And the wheel either takes us up or down. But it will always keep spinning. Less so if we’re in a stabile situation and don’t feel the need for much change. But even then it spins slowly. Because time always makes it spin no matter what. And even then something may happen that changes its direction and/or causes it to spin faster.

Then we have the situation in the world. It is causing many wheels to spin faster. And will do so even more in the future. 

This doesn’t necessarily have to move us downhill. Because when we’re pushed into a corner we have a choice of either lay down and let whatever is pushing us into the corner eat us. Or we can use every ounce of muscle and intelligence that we’ve got to fight. Thus we either perish or become stronger.

Here is where I am right now. I know where my choices have gotten me. I know that a storm is coming, even if I don’t know exactly when or what it will look like.

I also know that God will love me all the way through the storm. That he will love me when I am unable to. And I know that whatever pain comes in my way, it’s nothing compared to eternity with God. But that is not something that I’m likely to remember when tragedy strikes. 

This is actually quite interesting when you think about it. On the one hand, we have God, that loves us unconditionally and whose love we can never earn. And on the other we have ourselves, whose love we must earn. Both are closer to us than any other person or creature. And in between, we have all kinds of relationships with all kinds of conditionality attached to them. God is closer to us than we are to ourselves. And knows us better than we know ourselves. The second closest person in our lives is ourselves. And this is the person that never can love us unconditionally. Not in a true, healthy sense.

So here is what I’ve figured. As with most things in life, we need to take a step back and bring some consciousness into our self-perception. Most of us are not all that we could be. And we have to be cautious when it comes to the impulse to earn salvation. I mean this both in a literal and metaphorical sense. Our self-worth should never be contingent upon our accomplishments and failures. But we must also never sweep our shortcomings under the rug. If we don’t like everything about ourselves there’s probably a reason for it. If this is the case, it’s healthy to remind ourselves that we are worthy just by being part of the crown of God’s creation. But we also need to take a look at the parts that we don’t like about ourselves. 

Two very important questions to ask ourselves in this context, is: Is it my own standards that I don’t live up to? Or is it other people’s, the world’s or God’s?

We need to be as honest about this as possible and realize that these are huge and deep questions. The answers are, for the most part, far from obvious. We need to think deeply about why the standards matter to us.

Ultimately it’s God’s standards that we need to aim for. In other words, our standards should, as far as possible, be the same as God’s. But these are impossible standards and we are not expected to live up to them.

If, on the other hand, our standards are the world’s or other people’s, we can be more or less certain that they will lead us astray. It’s always a good thing to listen to the perspectives of people that have something valuable to teach us. But we should always do this with God’s will and not theirs in mind. 

So, we need to cultivate a healthy, mature and honest relationship with ourselves. If this is something that we find worthwhile, there are two crucial questions that we need to ask ourselves: Are we doing our best to live up to God’s standards? Can we accept and forgive ourselves when we inevitably fail to do so?

Putting things into perspective and letting go of our baggage

Objectively speaking a new year doesn’t mean anything. The meaning of a new year only comes from the meaning we give it, individually and collectively. And yet, the power of a fresh start should not be underestimated.

When I started caring about my life and thus started the journey that I’m still on today I was at the bottom. I was a lazy, immoral emotional wreck that only looked out for number one. Today I still have a mess to clean up because of this. I still have a lot of bad habits and negative attitudes that I need to get rid of. And I have a financial situation that, while not being totally terrible, leaves much to be desired. 

You could say that my life was on auto-pilot, while I was living under the illusion of conscious choices. I think that this is part of the human condition that we are currently in. And even when we start understanding that this is how our lives work, much will still continue in the same manner. Because as soon as we stop truly being aware we fall asleep again. Then that pesky auto-pilot comes on. You just need to observe yourself a bit throughout the day to see that this is the way things work.

This has also, most definitely, been true for humanity as a collective, probably ever since we’ve been able to talk about “humanity as a collective” in any meaningful way. This does not work anymore. And let me say this: I don’t think that we are going to continue on this road for much longer. But if we do, global tyranny will be the result.

Since we’re a collective of individuals, it’s up to each and everyone of us to wake up, become conscious of ourselves and the world around us, and then take on as much responsibility as we can handle. What this means will differ depending on where we are in life. But more or less all of us fall short of what we could be.

So, how could I, a fairly intelligent person, be so blind to what was right in front of me? How could I, instead of looking at myself and my shortcomings, time and time again point out the faults of others?

The truth is that before finding God I didn’t care. Because I saw everything as pointless anyway. But even after I started caring, I kept on acting egoistic even though my intent was the opposite. I kept on making excuses for behaviors that I should have recognized as wrong. Why? 

I think that I hadn’t taken a serious look at myself. And at the same time, I managed to see myself as intellectually superior to others.

I hadn’t put my actions or attitudes under any real scrutiny. I lived in a confused fantasy world with a distorted reality perception. A few ingredients in this soup were: a mixture of wishful thinking, arrogance, pride, an inflated ego that stemmed from a low self-esteem, an unfounded sense of superiority and tons of other garbage. I was also not very good at putting myself in other people’s shoes. This last thing is, by the way, something that I’m still struggling with. And I’m hardly alone in this. A lack of empathy seems to be one of the many social diseases that plague our modern world. Especially when it comes to how our own words and actions affect other people.

What I’ve come to realize is that there are rights and wrongs. Very clearly so. And if we want to learn more about this, I believe that the best source is the New Testament of the Bible.

If we act in a way that seems beneficial to us, but is harmful to others and the world, somewhere it will also hurt us. It may give us wealth and pleasure, but it will inevitably destroy our character. For people with a conscience, it will inevitably also cause anxiety. And it certainly does not give us a sense of meaning. Furthermore, it also damages our relationship with other people and ultimately with God, no matter if we believe in him or not. 

These are all harms that can be hidden fairly well. Both from ourselves and others. But they are most certainly there.

I think that almost all of us have things in our lives that we need to change, even if we’re not overall dissatisfied with out lives. But if you’re dissatisfied with where your life is today, the best thing is probably not to be angry with yourself for allowing things to become that way. You didn’t ask for the world to be what it is. You didn’t know that what the world sold you was a junk pile of lies. “This is how it is”, the world said. “This is what’s important and these are the keys to a happy, fulfilled life.” The world took your survival instinct and turned it into a tool of destruction. And it usually takes some sort of crisis for us to become aware of it.

Maybe you didn’t know what you were doing when you created whatever mess you’re in. But it’s still up to you to clean it up. No one is going to do it for you and all of the anger and complaining in the world won’t change that fact. And life is not going to get any better just because you manage to convince someone that you’re not to blame for your situation.

In one sense, we need to accept that we are never going to be perfect. In this sense, we need to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion when it comes to our shortcomings. Because failure to live up to what we could be is a necessary component of life. Even for the greatest among us. And in the end, whatever we cannot do ourselves we need to lay in the hands of God.

That being said, we must never allow acceptance to turn into resignation. Especially not in these troubled times, with global tyranny being a real threat that looms in the horizon. No matter who and where we are, we need to be able to stand as strong as we are capable of.

When we think of what we want to let go of, I think that it’s worth engaging in some serious thought about who we want to become. Who we are in relation to who we say that that we want to be. And why we want to be who we say that we want to be. 

We probably don’t want to replace everything in our lives. Some have less baggage. Others have more. But no matter what, there is another truer self inside us that is waiting to be born. One that comes through in those sides of us that feel true. That don’t just seem created by our experiences, circumstances and automatic reactions to them. I know that you can feel this true version of yourself. The one that is buried underneath the various layers of falseness that have been created by being both in the world and of it.

I would propose that we need to rethink our ideal if the honest answer to why we want to be who we want to be, is that we want to be admired by others. I would also caution against making any type of “happy” into some sort of end goal.

Now, let me be the first one to admit that I’m not very good at following Jesus. There are still huge remnants inside of me, of the person I no longer wish to be. There are sides of me that are selfish, moody, judgmental and fearful. Just to name a few things.

Yet, I think that the best way of doing this self-inventory, is in light of the ideal of Jesus. Because, even though it’s in practice impossible to live up to such an ideal, why aim for anything less? Jesus knew that the only way to true freedom and happiness, was in the obedience to God and the service to others. This is of course not what the world tells us. But is the ways of the world making us feel free and happy?