The world makes it easier than ever to be lazy, comfortable and engage in instant gratification. Today we have access to every item of convenience imaginable. We have endless access to entertainment and other distractions, fast food so we don’t have to cook, anti-depressants and sedatives so we don’t have to deal with our emotional problems, cars so we don’t have to walk, medications so we don’t have to take care of our bodies and wellfare so we don’t have to work. And since it becomes harder and harder to find work, while inflation eats up more and more of our salaries, there is less and less incentive to work.
To top it all off, we can gratify every low desire imaginable like never before. At the store, in front of the computer, on our streaming services and on our smartphones. Shameful consumption that twenty years ago required an effort and to actually look another person in the eyes when we paid for it, can today be done entirely in secret.
Until a few years ago I didn’t see these things as clearly as I do now. So I have my own demons to fight when it comes to the sad state that we’ve slowly been conditioned into. But I have let go of much since I started to see the troubled state of the world with clear eyes. And when I saw it, I knew that I had no choice. I can hide most things from other people. I can even fool myself that this is enough. But deep inside I know that it isn’t. My choices and actions will mercilessly shape who I am. I can never truly hide my behavior from myself. And I can certainly not hide it from God, who sees everything, knows every single thought that passes through my head and knows me infinitely better than I know myself.
I’m not free from sloth and gluttony. But I refuse to give in to them and let them rule my life. I engage in overeating from time to time. Now and then I skip going to the gym. And I know that I cannot always trust myself to do the things that I’ve set out to do. Life often feels like an uphill battle. But whatever comes out of my struggles in the end, even if it’s nothing at all, it’s still better than resignation.
Luckily we’re not alone in this. Just as God has a will for us and cares about our actions, he also understands us. Understands what we’re going through. Understands the world that we are living in. Walks with us in our struggles. Forgives our missteps and failures.
This does not imply taking the position of infants, where we just assume that God will do everything for us, with no effort on our part. God does expect that we try our best. That we don’t just let go and give in. That we don’t start making excuses. And it’s so easy to start making excuses. I know. Because I’ve struggled with many sins throughout my life. And these struggles have entailed loads of excuses for letting go and giving in. Loads of justifications for why sin isn’t really sin, even though I know in my heart that it is. Justifications for instant gratification so that I don’t have to deal with the suffering and frustration that resisting desire often causes. Justifications that often sound insane when I look back at them.
It’s easier than ever to just let ourselves go. At the same time, it’s harder and harder to make a different choice. If we want to feel powerful, free and alive the world will work against us. We will often have a baggage from having lived an unconscious life. Bad habits and debts to pay off are examples from my and my wife’s life. And if we want to build a business to stand on our own, regulations and tax burdens make things harder than ever. Regulations and tax burdens that big corporations easily can pay their way out of.
And temptations are everywhere. Which in itself is another challenge. Because it takes time and energy to resist them. It would be so easy to just let go, stop caring and let the government take care of us. Unhealthy food is the cheapest food, so we could easily stick to that, let our bodies decay, get comfortable and numb. Entertainment and distractions are cheap and often free. We only need a trip to the doctor and the pharmacy to escape our emotions.
I know that I want to get out of this invisible prison that I unknowingly have allowed myself to get trapped in. To me it’s not even a choice. I’d rather live a life of struggle, frustration and disappointment every single day and die disappointed and struggling, than giving in to a meaningless life of comfort, pleasure and instant gratification. Because to me, this type of life isn’t living at all. This type of life is the equivalent of being a walking dead. You don’t live. You just exist.
When I look at what our culture tries to turn us into, I see disconnection from ourselves and disconnection from others. I see numbness. This is not what I want for me or anyone else. I want to feel alive and free even if it’s painful and frustrating. And I’m willing to endure anything to escape our invisible prison. I want to be fully human, the way God intended me to be. And I refuse to become the willless animal that the world wants to turn me into.
Free will is one of God’s most precious and vital gifts. Let’s not waste it.
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