Useful and useless thoughts

I often hear that in the modern world, we seldom take the time to just think. We always want to distract our minds in some way. Which makes us alienated to ourselves, since this means that we don’t take time to figure ourselves or our lives out. 

I’ve been there. In so many ways. When I was younger, it was a lot of mindless entertainment. Then, as I started to find some meaning in life and became at least a bit ambitious, it was books. And still some mindless entertainment now and then. 

But there is another side to this. Because when I decided to just sit down and think, or at least not listen to something every time I did household chores, I found my thoughts skipping randomly between topics. When I was done, I had thought about things like bills, what people thought of me, my body, groceries, tv-series etc. Consequently, when I was done being alone with my thoughts, I hadn’t grown any wiser. In some instances, I had even managed to get my mood down, by thinking of some problem that I couldn’t do anything about, or someone that I was mad at, or someone that was mad at me. 

This happened even if I decided to be present with my thoughts. Because it took ten seconds for me to forget to be present with them. Only now, many years after I first made this attempt, I am starting to remember to have a conscious relation to my thoughts when I’m alone with them. 

That last sentence sounded a little weird. Re-read it again to make sure that didn’t just read it, but understood it as well.