Short on prayer

I’ve realised that I can treat my experience of prayer in vastly different ways. In prayer as in no other practice, it has become clear whether I’m doing something heartfelt or not. If I’m there, if I’m really speaking to someone and if there  is any true meaning behind my words. I have often caught myself approaching prayer as just something I expect myself to do. I’ve used some nice words about gratitude, forgiveness, guidance or whatever. But I haven’t really been there. I haven’t really thought about what I’ve been saying. Often, I have been somewhere else in my thoughts. And I haven’t intentionally directed my prayer towards God.

I know that this type of absent-mindedness can be found in many of my activities. But as I said, I’ve seen it most clearly in prayer. Felt the difference between it and really being engaged in what I’m doing.