A little New Years greeting

2022 has been a terrible year, for the world, for me personally and for my wife. But, for us, it has also been a year of much growth. I feel that it has been a year where many problems have been brought to the surface. In a way where we couldn’t ignore them any more. When this happens, you either give up or deal with them to the best of your ability. The first option has been tempting on many occasions. 

It’s been a rather even distribution of pains that I have caused myself, or we have caused together, and pains that have been beyond my/our control. 

Among the things that have happened, we’ve had a situation that I will not discuss here, we’ve lost a beloved cat, we’ve continued struggling financially and I’ve come face to face with a lot inside myself that I don’t like.

In this context it’s relevant to ask both if things really are beyond one’s control, and how much free will is involved in one’s bad decisions. This could be of particular interest now, as this is the time of the year when we start anew and make resolutions to better ourselves. 

On the one hand, we may feel that many things just happen to us, we are victims of circumstances and so on. But it’s rare that the situations have nothing whatsoever to do with poor decisions. Even if they might not be a direct consequence of them. If, for example, our car breaks down, it’s usually not something that we had no way of foreseeing. Maybe we bought a cheap, used car. Maybe we couldn’t afford a better car because we made poor financial decision in the past. Or we couldn’t afford to have that engine noise checked out, also because of poor financial decisions in the past.

Furthermore, if we have solid ground beneath our feet, we can usually handle what comes our way. But if we don’t, many problems turn into disasters. 

On the other hand, we wouldn’t make bad decisions if we knew that they were bad decision. At least not if we could help ourselves. Furthermore, how clearly we view our behavior and how much willpower we have to change, seems to be determined by factors beyond our control to a large degree. Something usually has to happen, that puts things into a new perspective. 

I could write several books about the problem of free will, so I will leave the discussion with this: I’ve gotten into the habit of observing myself quite a bit and I’ve done a fair bit of self-examination. And I still constantly catch myself lying to myself and act in ways that go against what I’ve intended. I’ve learned that the human capacity for self-deception is endless. This is where I’m at. But many people go through their whole lives without really making conscious choices. Where it’s obvious to anyone but themselves, that the reasons for their actions are entirely different from what they think. 

So, do you truly know why you do what you do? Do your actions have the consequences that you intend? Would you rather be right or have the best possible outcome? How much of your behavior is driven by ego?

As we enter the new year, I wish to be more conscious of the choices that I’m making and why I’m making them. I want to act less from the ego and more in alignment with God’s will. To let go of the lower parts of me while strengthening the higher.

My hopes for humanity are similar to what I personally aim for. I hope that more people start to wake up to the fact that God is the only authority that we need. That more people start taking responsibility for their actions, rather than looking to people in power (whether they are our elected rulers or those that are pulling their strings) for solutions and guidance. 

Handing over power to someone else has never worked before, so why should it now? The world is in crisis and things are not always as they appear. As a matter of fact, I would say that almost nothing is as it appears. But in all of this we still have God and each other. We don’t have to believe the same things or have the same opinions in order for us to come together and start building something better. The idea that we all have to agree to get along is dividing us, when we could face our challenges together.

There are people that want things to be this way. They want this so that we continue feeling powerless. Because if we feel powerless, we are likely to accept their solutions instead. We are likely to hand over our power to them instead. A power that really only belongs to God. 

In this state we are crippled. Instead of trying to force others to change, we can ask God what we need to change in ourselves. And instead of imposing our will on other people, we can do our best to work together with them. To think of how we can be the kinds of people that others would want to cooperate harmoniously with, rather than make others do what we want them to.

So, in spite of everything that has been over the past few years, I do have some hopes for 2023. Because I don’t think that I’m the only one that, during the past year, has become acutely aware of all of the things that don’t work and that I don’t want in my life. 

But it’s up to each and every one of us. Will we take responsibility for our lives, rise above all that is small and petty inside of ourselves, strive for what is truly good and noble and thus take our power back?

Happy New Year!

A little Christmas Greeting

I thought that I’d take a break from my regular blogging this Saturday, since it’s Christmas and most people probably have better things to do than to read blogs. But I thought that I’d just put a small piece together.

I want to begin by saying merry Christmas to all of my family and friends. Thank you for having put up with me throughout the years. You mean more to me than I often show.

Now, it’s easy to get cynical about Christmas these days. Just like it’s easy to get cynical about many things these days. You can take the fun and beauty out of most things if this is what you want.

If you want to, you can choose to look at Christmas as a holiday of drunkenness, gluttony, loneliness and empty bank accounts. You can point out that Jesus was almost certainly not born on the 25^th of December. And so on.

Or you can choose to reflect upon what Christmas represents, no matter when Jesus was born. That Christmas represents not just the birth of Jesus, but the beginning of the rebirth of the whole world and the whole of humanity. 

You look at Christmas as a time when you can allow yourself to take a break from an often hectic life and spend time with your loved ones, without feeling guilty about not being productive.

When pondering the significance of gifts, you can think about the gift of life that God has given you. You may think of the gifts that await you in the future. And you can think of the fact that God is himself the greatest gift of all. You can think of how this is reflected in the giving of gifts between people. Because it is the giver and not the gifts that is of true importance to us. We do well to remember this.

I’m not always good at seeing the best in the world and the people in it. But I want to be better at it. Not in the delusional way, where I tell myself that everything is fine when it really isn’t, while pretending that my problems don’t bother me, even though it’s obvious that they do.

No, I mean to see all the good that is in my life and the world. To not make more than I have to of my problems. To not ruminate on them if I can help it. To not let the joys just fly by while my mind is occupied with the past or the future. To instead take time to appreciate and be thankful for all my blessings.

This is where I want my focus to be. ghggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggn6767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767jhnWhat do your eyes see when they view the world?

Merry Christmas!

Have Faith!

Everything is in God’s hands. EVERYTHING is in God’s hands! In these troubled times it’s so easy to forget that. That there is a plan. That no matter how things look on the surface, both on a global and personal level, ultimately everything is going to be okay. This is what the Bible promises. This is what many of the Bible stories point to. For example when Moses parts the sea, when David slays Goliath, when Daniel and his friends walk into the fiery furnace, when Peter walks on the water with Jesus or when Jesus calms the raging storm. No matter what happens, God is always there with us. Even when the apostles were martyred, they knew that they were going home.

With this I don’t mean to trivialize the suffering that is happening in the world. But if we have faith, we know that the suffering does not take place in an ultimately meaningless world. We know that there will be redemption for those who suffer.

We all have our proverbial demons (and maybe some literal ones as well). One of mine is worries about money. I know perfectly well that my worries are very small in comparison to what many people go through. Me and my wife can still pay our bills and put food on the table. And we have a safety net of people around us if something goes seriously wrong.

Yet, when everything gets more expensive I worry. And I’m imagining all kinds of scenarios where we have to freeze and don’t have food, because we don’t have a solid financial ground to stand on. This is not to have faith. Faith is to do one’s best with what one has and leave the rest to God. Faith is to look boldly at the uncertainty of the future and say: “thy will be done”. 

What I have control over, is what I do with my relationship with my creator and the people around me. I have control over what kind of person I become through my daily choices. I can control what kind of character I develop.

Luckily this is where we can find our strongest foundation. Not in material possessions or riches. Our strongest foundation is built on where we stand with God, who we are and the people we surround ourselves with. 

By focusing on my little worries, I both distrust God and display a lack of proper care. 

What do I mean by “lack of proper care”?

Let me give you an example. Right now, billionaires all over the world are building bunkers, that are built to protect and maintain a comfortable lifestyle during a crisis. In other words, in the face of a global disaster, they think primarily of saving themselves and their families. 

But in light of what often runs through my mind at this time, am I so different? Are you? What are the chances that we would do the same if we could? 

Proper care means to focus on the greater picture. What at least I instead often focus on, is how everything affects me personally. How the state of the world interferes with my own goals, plans, dreams, wishes and desires. This while I ought to focus on what God wants with my life.

This leads to some tough questions: Is my life focused around what God wants or what my ego wants? Do my thoughts, words and actions match my answer, if I’m being honest with myself? 

I know that my answers to these questions are far from satisfying. But a serious attempt at being honest with oneself is at least a start.

I believe that faith is crucial here. Faith in that we don’t live in a cold, indifferent world where the future is completely uncertain. Faith in that there is a meaning to everything that is happening. Faith in that everything is in God’s hands. Faith that whatever happens, we can still trust God in the end. Faith that God holds us and preserves us, even in death.

What God asks of us, is to be okay with uncertainty. With not knowing everything in advance. To not let the world fool us into believing that there is no hope beyond politics, economics and science. To trust that whatever comes our way, ultimately it’s for the best. To truly believe in a life and a reality beyond this one, not just with our intellects, but with our whole being. To truly believe in God. That God is a personal God, that cares intimately for us. That he has a plan for everything that is happening right now. That God wants a relationship with us and that, in his time and not ours, he wants to give us everything. To allow these beliefs to shine through our thoughts, words and actions.

Have faith! 

Radical love and awareness

Jesus didn’t just show us what we could be. He also taught that it is our natural state. He showed us this natural state through his character and actions. He showed us what unconditional love looks like. 

Now, we may get confused about what unconditional love means. To love unconditionally is to love no matter what. But a person that loves unconditionally can still demand things of others. Just not as a condition for love. Jesus demanded things of people. He said: “This is what you need to do to follow me” and “This is what you need to do if you want to be free and happy”. The world is what it is and it comes with its conditions. And no matter how much Jesus loves, as long as we live in a fallen world, he can’t help us out of our bondage unless we do what he says that we need to do in order to be free. 

In any interaction with another person, we can choose to meet that person with love and openness. This is our natural state. But from the day we were born, we have been programmed to respond otherwise. Therefore, what should come natural is hard for most of us. What should come natural is met with resistance. I am no exception to this. This is not something that I have conquered within myself. And this is where it has to begin: within ourselves. Actions and words that on the surface are identical, can have opposite meanings depending on what inner state that they stem from.

In any interaction with another person, we can choose to think loving thoughts about the person. We can choose what qualities to focus on. And every time we make such a choice, our hearts open or close a little bit. Love is a feeling that exists in infinite abundance, we can choose it any time and it is always possible to cultivate more of it.

Jesus said: “turn the other cheek” and “love your enemies”. He also told us over and over again to look at our own shortcomings, instead of finding faults in others. These are very clear instructions. There is very little room for misunderstanding here.

So why don’t we always cultivate love. For me, at least part of the reason was that no one told me that I had a choice. At least not in a way that got through to me. And here is where the programming comes in. We learn so many things without questioning them. From movies, music, the news, people around us and other channels, we learn that we live in a hostile world full of selfish people. We learn that power struggles is a necessary part of life, that we live in scarcity and that we need to take what we can and guard ourselves against others. We learn that material possessions and status are important for a happy life. We learn that self esteem comes from putting others in their place and taking revenge. We learn that we should feel offended when we think that someone has wronged us. Just to name a few ways of functioning in the world, that have nothing to do with love, that many of us learn without questioning. 

It is very much a question of awareness whether we make a conscious choice about these matters or not. We may for example feel justified in our anger towards someone. Maybe the person has intentionally wronged us in some way. But if we manage to take a step back and observe what is going on, we can consider what course of action is most beneficial to all concerned parties. Hint: It’s usually not to go off on a slanderous rant as we vent our hurt feelings to a mutual friend. In fact, if we can stop ourselves at the level of our thoughts, this is usually the best way of approaching the issue. If we can keep calm and remember that our thoughts do not represent reality. 

The problem is that we are seldom fully aware of what is going on inside of our own heads. We often assume that we are. But upon closer inspection, we notice all kinds of nonsense in our minds. We notice that there is a constant chatter in our minds whether we like it or not, that we believe many thoughts without sufficient reason and that we often confuse thoughts and feelings. For example. 

We also notice something else, which is very relevant here. Namely that once a negative emotion gets hold of us, we lose our conscious awareness. Then the emotion starts to color our thoughts and perceptions, it becomes much easier to mistake our distorted perception of reality for reality and to start engaging in behavior that has no clear purpose. Such as saying something that we may regret later, to- or about another person. Such as acting in a way that is not loving.

But we often do have a few seconds where we remember, for example, a commitment not to judge. But then comes the justifications: “He or she did this or that to me”. Or we simply pretend that we didn’t hear the little reminder of our commitment at all. Our inner life is interesting in that way, in a rather frightening manner. We often know, on some level, that we have the choice of stopping ourselves. But another side of us doesn’t want to. And when this side wins we let go. And when we let go we go unconscious and words seem to flow more or less automatically out of our mouths. 

We may come to our senses after a while, much depending on our level of maturity. But not before having given ourselves another reason not to trust ourselves. For what reason? Why do we do such things? The only honest answer is: “I don’t know”. As with many, if not most, of our behaviors, we may think up an explanation for them. But if we are being honest with ourselves, it is just that - something that we have thought up. 

The good news is that the more awareness we bring into the present moment, the easier it becomes to make different choices. The easier it becomes to catch ourselves before we think, act and speak in an unloving manner. The easier it becomes to choose love. And the more we choose love, the closer we get to our rebirth in the image of God. In Christ likeness. Which is the goal of every human, whether we recognize it or not.

Letting go of what's unimportant

There are really only three truly important things in life. Our relationship with God and all that it entails, our relationship with others and our relationship with ourselves. If you believe that these two sentences hold some truth, it becomes obvious that it’s our relationships that are important. I would even stretch it so far as to say that there is something divine about our relationships. So why are we having such a hard time taking proper care of our relationships? Here are some some factors in my life: stress, fears, worries, disappointments, financial issues, trust-issues. Just to name a few. 

Many of us carry around lots of baggage that affects how we act towards those around us. Act in ways that we neither see nor understand. As with so many difficulties in life, the first step to healing is awareness. We need to be present with ourselves. Observe ourselves. Try to see and understand what is happening when it happens.

Some spiritual teachings tell us that we have to let go of everything in this world, including the attachments that we have to the ones that we love. I believe that this is wrong. Plain and simple. We’re supposed to care for those around us. And when something happens to them we’re supposed to care. When someone that we love dies, we’re supposed to grieve. And since I know God exists, that we go on living after we die and that the Bible is right about those things that I can confirm through my own experience, I take comfort in the idea that I will see those that I love that have passed away again. You may find this a bit childish, but I even hope that this includes pets. Because why not?

You see, I’m beginning to see that the Christian faith has room for not just one type of faith and relationship with God. It does have room for the child-like faith that I just described, where God embraces us after we die, wipes our tears and tells us that absolutely everything is okay. And it also has room for a relationship with a God that is the infinite, all-powerful ruler of heaven and earth, whose love and glory is so magnificent, that we cannot even begin to comprehend it. The God that calls us to grow out of our petty egos and into ruthless self-examinations, so that we can die from all that is immature, selfish and wicked. 

How far most of us have strayed from this type of relationship with God. How far I have strayed from it. Comfort has silently taken over us. Made many of us weak and numb. And when the conveniences that we’ve gotten used to get taken away or don’t work properly it causes frustration. At least it does for me. How easy it is for our attention to get drawn away from what’s important to that which is unimportant. 

There are in general so many irrelevant things in my life that take up energy and attention. When all I really want to do is live the kind of godly life that I just spoke about. A life where God is always at the centre. A life where my thoughts are always occupied with God and where God colors all of my actions, words and even thoughts. This might sound like the goal of a fanatic. But if we truly believe in God and that he is who the Bible says he is, how could things be any other way? And to be clear, I have no wish to ever force anything on anyone. I don’t believe that anything good ever can come from coercion and I’m firmly against any expression of religion that relies on it. Only falseness can come from it. I only wish for others to see for themselves what I today know to be true. Not because I need to be right or need others to agree with me, but because I know that God exists and that true meaningfulness can only come from having him in our lives. How could I not want this for others?

In my day to day life and my spiritual practices, I’ve in different ways caught glimpses of a world beyond this one. Of what a life where I fully walk with God would be like. Felt the love that our creator has for us. I don’t expect anyone to take my word for it. I don’t believe that anyone should take anyone’s word for anything. This is not about mere belief. I cannot say how long it will take, but I believe that whoever knocks on the proverbial door will see it open eventually.

Since I’ve felt some of what I believe to be the eternity that the Bible promises, I know that whatever this world offers pales in comparison. And yet, I’m often sucked into the worries and feelings of lack that for most of us is a necessary component of this life: “I want this. I don’t have that. This doesn’t work the way it should. How am I going to get through this? Why can’t things be different from what they are? Are things ever going to be different?” Etcetera. 

I’ve noticed that my memory works pretty strange when it comes to this. Because it seems as if I can’t be caught up in this world and remember all of the signs that point to a better world at the same time. When I’m caught up in the worries of this life, it seems as if this life is all there is. When this happens, all of the little temporal, passing things of this life and this world, suddenly seem terribly important. Even though I, on some level, know that most of them will have passed away in a month or a year. This while God’s kingdom is forever.

I personally have a fair balance between joy and suffering in my life. Many people suffer more, while other suffer less. But a fact of life is that even those that don’t suffer much today, will in all likelihood suffer more some time during their lives. And suffering is still suffering no matter what. But it’s much easier to bear when we have the solid ground of faith beneath our feet. Not a faith of wishful thinking, but one whose truth is firmly planted in our hearts.

Whether I, in the situations that I face throughout my day, can remember what’s important, seems to have a lot to do with awareness. Can I be conscious enough to notice that I’m slipping before it’s too late? 

Are you beginning to see why cultivating more present moment awareness is so important? This is something that we can do always. Just get into the habit of consciously noticing what is going on as often as possible throughout the day. Being really present with our senses. Noticing both what is going on in the external world and what we’re thinking, feeling and what is going on inside the body. That is all that it takes really. We can read tons of books about mindfulness. I have. But this is all that is really needed. And here comes a little hint: Much more is going on inside the body than we usually are aware of. Just try for yourself and put more focus on what sensations pass through it and see what happens.